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Dont End Up Like Me
- Thread starter bluewine
- Start date
This is news? Every band "that is working and has it together" started somewhere.
Opportunities to jump into a together, working band are few and far between, IME. Bands like that tend to find replacement players 'through the network' first, then maybe the Craigslist route as a last resort.
The opportunities are rare, but they are out there. Maybe work on starting your own band, and keep an eye out for replacement needs. Generally, the good bands know the scene and the players, they might have already had people approach them. YMMV.
I dont know my last band before my current one was a long time established act and They found me on CL. I found the songwriter my band today is formed around on CL. I was in the other band looking for a small side project a couple of years ago. Since they were experienced players we hit it off and it is the band I am in today.
But you stated that you are involved with the 2 bands, yes? I took that to mean that you are currently playing with them, if only temporarily. Why not be the wise musician who has done it all before and help them step things up while you are with them?
I can feel ya on this. For me playing is all about the gigs, thats what I want to be doing. I was discouraged when my previous band broke up, thinking 'man, its gonna take a lot of time to get back on stage'. I ended up joining a band that I wouldnt have had I had something else going on. I jammed with them for 2 months, with no sign of a gig on its way. So, I started a project on my own time, and got playing out immediately. So, I told the new guiys I was out.
I guess I could see it either way. Semantics, really. Personally, I wouldnt want to join a band that couldnt be on stage in a few weeks time unless I was starting my own project, in which I would have to write some new original material for.
I totally agree w/ you on this. I ask many questions right from the start and many bands have wondered why I was asking so much! I'm asking because I don't want to waste my time! Duh. Being on the same page is ultra important as well. Then they lie and say they have all these connections etc. - yeh great, prove it. Having trouble finding a good, normal working band that doesn't tune so low that my strings are floppin'!!
That's great, not dogging the list, just sharing my experience. If it works for you, there is absolutely no reason to change.
Like you, I've been doing this a long time. Only once did I 'advertise' my services when looking for other players, and that was on a real wooden message board at the music store, which BTW, was jam packed with similar ads. I found my future band (now many years past) on the board that day, and took my ad down the next. For any other band I've been in, it was done through knowing/meeting other musicians at clubs, open mics, or mutual acquaintances in the local scene. I've been in bands/situations non-stop (with the exception of very few weeks here or there) since 1981. I work less now than I have in the past, but that's by choice, and I still do two standing gigs a week.
I guess my point is, if you really want to get in a good working band, it helps if some of the locals know/see you. If your scene is anything like mine, the 'players' are, mostly, a regular group. Going to watch shows, or attending open mics puts your face/playing in the public realm. Musicians talk so if you're who you say you are, it gets around. You play with this guitarist, or that drummer, and they remember you if you're...well... worth remembering. It lets you evaluate others too.
Maybe Craigslist is a good tool also, but checking things out in person makes for a more rounded experience, at least to my way of thinking.
Don't think you've "ended up" anywhere. There's plenty more to come & it's a long ways from being over. You've got to make yourself believe that the best is yet to come.
When I was 25, I thought I was about over the hill (at least cresting it). That turned out to be dead wrong.
When I was 25, I thought I was about over the hill (at least cresting it). That turned out to be dead wrong.
Oh I totally agree Blueszilla the local scene has the best players hands down. Its just unfortunate I don't socialize enough. Although I'm starting to get known a little in my click
A gig is a gig, but belonging to a band is not a gig.
For me, a lot depends on the nature of the start-up. A band with clear direction, capability, leadership, and organization, might get my attention.
We are not that different. Been playing in bands since 1966.
I got lucky last year, at the age of 56 I got a break from a young Pop Rock band, cool people, good classy people, professional, we were tight and had very cool sound.Sort of like Paramore. We had good shows twice a month at very cool originals clubs. Always 2-3 band nights we always closed. Our sets were usually the 11:30- 1:00 slot.
I still love the feel of rockin in a cool club when things are going right, I love playing bass, love wearing trendy clothes. I was just so happy that an old MFer like me can still get out and get down a little.
Thats what I'm talking about.
You nailed another important piece.While I have decided that start ups are not for me, I do think that leadership is extremely important.
And I think you will all agree that just because a band has a leader, it doesn't mean they have leadership.
Oh I totally agree Blueszilla the local scene has the best players hands down. Its just unfortunate I don't socialize enough. Although I'm starting to get known a little in my click
I am just not sure that our open mic scene is a place for an aging local Pop Rock Artist like me to get noticed. I'm just not sure.
There is maybe one club that I might go to pull that Hillary Duff thing off again with my drummer friend.
Cool, yeah and I don't think you or me are being arogent about this. We don't want to waste anyones time.
I could say, it's really great that you have connections, tell me about them;
Who are you connected with
What have they done for you in the past
What are they going to do for you now
Where are they, are they here right now, I want to meet them
You are 100% right. I auditioned for 2 very heavy hitting bands, and got rejected by both. Not that my audition went south, I just was not and still not a member of the inner club here locally.
Like you said,these bands have good bass players with vocals waiting in the wings at all times.
God point, take me for example. Just because I have been playing in bands for 40 years, doesn't have to mean I have 40 years of experience.
If you ask me, I would tell you I have 1 year of experience because my most relevent experience was from playing with that Pop Rock Band last year. It really tuaght me a lot about how young musicians are doing this now.
Blue,
You know I have been in your corner more than most on this forum. I belive you don't mean allot of things you say and sometimes you are judged for comments you make. Some of the things you do say which I disagree with is Ok..you have the right.
What I still dont understand is why? Why? someone with experience as you would waste their time with any start up act or band?
To me start ups are for new players,old players looking to get back into playing or guys who are not really committed. A true "start up band is not really a start up.
Why? I can answer that in 2 words. Desperate and Stupid
Blue,
You know I have been in your corner more than most on this forum. I belive you don't mean allot of things you say and sometimes you are judged for comments you make. Some of the things you do say which I disagree with is Ok..you have the right.
What I still dont understand is why? Why? someone with experience as you would waste their time with any start up act or band?
To me start ups are for new players,old players looking to get back into playing or guys who are not really committed. A true "start up band is not really a start up. They are experienced players who form, get it down quickly and know the ropes...no lag. These cats can really pick up and play in a week or two many less...thats not a start up.
I have told you I have no interest as you also said in past posts and PM's of start ups and wanna'be bands, but here you are..why?
I know you are trying hard to get back out and play. Do you think this will happen quickly in a start up...nope! So why go there?
I told you about my list..tough questions that I need to know before I would start my car to go to any audition. I dont think you thought about that list or even your questions to outlined today.
Now you are in a position that you have to decide...do I stay ..or do I go? You have to let these folks know and thats not fun for anyone. If you stay..How long? How long will you keep going on until you see if its going to pan out? Let's say it does but takes months..are you down for that?
I also suggested you try a new music style , closer to your age range and look. Blues, classic rock, R&B, oldies. You keep looking for younger Pop rock which has allot of issues on age, gender,looks,experience etc..another roadblock. You feel a "sexy image" is important to market..a hot female leadNot so. People want good music...period. Remember most of the older cats out there playing the kinds of music I and others have suggested are set in their ways so to speak with their lives, job, etc. they just want to gig a few times a month and are normally committed to it like a golf ,bowling league. Most of these bands get good paydays and stay busy..something you want.
Here is again my final advice. Use the list, Find a music that fits you at this point in your life, take your time looking...dont jump at any band. Life is too short to make bad music or to waste your time as IMO you have done.
Sorry to come down so hard..Its not my intension. Its just hard to see someone struggle at something like this when so many have given you good direction and advice in the past.
+1 There you go.
Blue: You know that I have been in your corner as well over the past couple of years.
However, ageism is everywhere.
I went to a funeral awhile back for a 69 y.o. cousin. I check out everyone in attendance (about 50 people ranging from about 15 to 90 years old). There was two people with white hair....one 85 y.o. guy and some other guy who plays bass. That's right, everyone over 40 (about 75% of the attendees) dyes their hair, mustache, eyebrows, etc. to keep their job and get around "ageism".
You should have seen all the guys with male pattern baldness and/or thinning hair that didn't have one gray hair on their head
Also, many jobs/gigs are "fat people don't apply". Just like the bad old days when people of color were denied jobs.
You know, I was watching Soul Sessions on Centric and was trying to picture today's old guys playing the tunes that I heard and I really couldn't picture them (us) trying to gig with the rap/hip-hop style of neo-soul.
Blue I know you're not fat and that you do dye your hair, so YOu obviously know all these things already but it seems to me, based on your experiences, that you may have been termed out of the type of music you want to play by the youngsters.
And need to find alternatives to what you've been looking for.
Good luck!
Blue,
I actually remember when you first joined the Talkbass forums and were looking for guidance. You wanted to know how an older cat such as yourself could get back into the game, play out, and hopefully make some decent money while you were at it. I remember the PM's you would send myself and others, and I remembered all the questions you'd ask.
You wanted to learn. We wanted to help you.
In recent months, however, you've been starting threads from a much different perspective. You've been angling them as if you've been in the game for years, knew the ends and outs of the business, and were a genuine, seasoned pro. It honestly seems as if you believe you're deserving of a band that's playing sold out shows multiple times a week. It also seems that you've been turning your back on the community that helped give you the knowledge that you've been reiterating constantly with your threads over the past few months.
I say that just to say this - Have you ever considered that the reason you haven't been able to land a solid gig is your own fault? You seem interested in being in a modern pop rock band, and yet you have continually insist on playing songs like "Cinnamon Girl" and "Jailbreak". You consistently tryout for bands that are composed of members that are half your age. You keep aiming for bands that have solid bookings and believe that you're deserving of a spot in one of these bands, when it's common knowledge that bands with solid bookings often have permanent subs for each member of the band.
I'm just dumbfounded that you continually seem to set yourself up for failure with each band you tryout for. You aim for the same types of bands and expect a different outcome when it seems clear to me (and I'd assume most members on the board) that you're not going to see a different result because you're either too old, honestly not experienced enough, or seemingly have a chip on your shoulder because you act like you know more than you really do.
I'm not saying this to be mean - I'm saying it because I honestly care about each and every member of this community and I'd like to see them all land their dream gig. The problem, however, is that it's unrealistic for us all to land our dream gig. I believe it would honestly help you if you'd take a step back and realize that you're aiming too high right now. Perhaps the best thing you can do is just aim for a band that gets together once a week to jam on some old tunes, tries to gig out once ever month or two, and just has fun with it. Just consider it.
I actually remember when you first joined the Talkbass forums and were looking for guidance. You wanted to know how an older cat such as yourself could get back into the game, play out, and hopefully make some decent money while you were at it. I remember the PM's you would send myself and others, and I remembered all the questions you'd ask.
You wanted to learn. We wanted to help you.
In recent months, however, you've been starting threads from a much different perspective. You've been angling them as if you've been in the game for years, knew the ends and outs of the business, and were a genuine, seasoned pro. It honestly seems as if you believe you're deserving of a band that's playing sold out shows multiple times a week. It also seems that you've been turning your back on the community that helped give you the knowledge that you've been reiterating constantly with your threads over the past few months.
I say that just to say this - Have you ever considered that the reason you haven't been able to land a solid gig is your own fault? You seem interested in being in a modern pop rock band, and yet you have continually insist on playing songs like "Cinnamon Girl" and "Jailbreak". You consistently tryout for bands that are composed of members that are half your age. You keep aiming for bands that have solid bookings and believe that you're deserving of a spot in one of these bands, when it's common knowledge that bands with solid bookings often have permanent subs for each member of the band.
I'm just dumbfounded that you continually seem to set yourself up for failure with each band you tryout for. You aim for the same types of bands and expect a different outcome when it seems clear to me (and I'd assume most members on the board) that you're not going to see a different result because you're either too old, honestly not experienced enough, or seemingly have a chip on your shoulder because you act like you know more than you really do.
I'm not saying this to be mean - I'm saying it because I honestly care about each and every member of this community and I'd like to see them all land their dream gig. The problem, however, is that it's unrealistic for us all to land our dream gig. I believe it would honestly help you if you'd take a step back and realize that you're aiming too high right now. Perhaps the best thing you can do is just aim for a band that gets together once a week to jam on some old tunes, tries to gig out once ever month or two, and just has fun with it. Just consider it.
I'm really missing something here. This is at least the third thread you have started to counsel us about proper auditioning procedure. Then you come in and talk about all the screwed-up situations you end up in. (Note the two consecutive hanging prepositions.) Are you not following your own advice, or just cautioning us not to do what you do?
