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Dumb CL Ad's pt 5, Dumbester and Dumberest

#341
GlennW said:
Ad for bass player:
Female fronted variety dance band currently seeking an experienced bass player. The band consists of guitar, keyboard, drums and female lead singer.

Ad for drummer (two days later):
Female fronted variety dance band currently seeking an experienced drummer. The band consists of guitar, keyboard, bass and female lead singer.

Somethin' ain't right here.
Click to expand...
Real ad would read something like this:
Looking to start variety dance band with me on vocals. I play a little bit of keyboard and have a friend who plays guitar. All instruments are needed, with songwriting ability and backing vocals preferred. Currently looking for drums, guitar, bass, and keys.
 
#342
GlennW said:
Ad for bass player:
Female fronted variety dance band currently seeking an experienced bass player. The band consists of guitar, keyboard, drums and female lead singer.

Ad for drummer (two days later):
Female fronted variety dance band currently seeking an experienced drummer. The band consists of guitar, keyboard, bass and female lead singer.

Somethin' ain't right here.
Click to expand...

Or it took them one day to find a bass player and fire the drummer :D
 
#344
Two Ads right next to each other on CL Philly. Clearly the same person.

Ad #1
DRUMMER LOOKING FOR A HARDCORE/METAL BAND (S.PHILLY)
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Moved to philly 8 months ago very random move didn't pack anything so here's the kicker I don't have my set
SO if there's any hardcore metal band out there who have a set and need someone let me know i'm totally for for jammin when i can
i'm 28 been in hardcore bands well over 10 yrs so get at me if you need someone alright peace

Ad #2
ANY METAL/HARDCORE OR POP BANDS NEED MANAGER? (U.CITY)
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

What's up everybody I've been in the hardcore/metal scene over 10 yrs now and I've done it all from playing shows to recording to touring etc... NOW i'm more focused on managing bands and helpnig them get shows Alost paying gigs and finding them studios to record in NOW of course I love helpnig bands but this is also how I've been making a living I'M not asking for thousands of dollars i'm very very reasonable on my price SO if anyone needs some help with shows or recording or anything along those lines please let me know peace out
 
#345
New one here in Pittsburgh


Hey, I'm a bassist (Lower Burrell)
That's right, I'm a bassist. And a kickass one, at that. You need me. I'm not gonna slap, tap, or any of that gimmicky bullsh*t. I'm not gonna play metal, hardcore, grindcore, thrash, or any of that stupid bullsh*t. You want melodic McCartney-style walking basslines? Got it! You want someone with reliable gear, transportation, no ego (seriously), no drugs, no stupid team jerseys worn every f***ing day, no pants below the ass even though I'm wearing a belt, no crooked trucker style hat bought at Hot Topic because I'm a f***ing MTV generation tool, and tons of experience? Got it. I also have keyboard skills, too. Online samples? Suck it... you send ME to your music and I'll decide whether or not it's worth my time. I'm in my mid-twenties and tired of punks and wannabe shredders booking shows in local VFW's. Let's get it done, bi*ch.
They call me... god
Ps... this is a real ad. Reply if interested
 
#348
TNCreature said:
Two Ads right next to each other on CL Philly. Clearly the same person.

Ad #1
DRUMMER LOOKING FOR A HARDCORE/METAL BAND (S.PHILLY)
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Moved to philly 8 months ago very random move didn't pack anything so here's the kicker I don't have my set
SO if there's any hardcore metal band out there who have a set and need someone let me know i'm totally for for jammin when i can
i'm 28 been in hardcore bands well over 10 yrs so get at me if you need someone alright peace

Ad #2
ANY METAL/HARDCORE OR POP BANDS NEED MANAGER? (U.CITY)
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

What's up everybody I've been in the hardcore/metal scene over 10 yrs now and I've done it all from playing shows to recording to touring etc... NOW i'm more focused on managing bands and helpnig them get shows Alost paying gigs and finding them studios to record in NOW of course I love helpnig bands but this is also how I've been making a living I'M not asking for thousands of dollars i'm very very reasonable on my price SO if anyone needs some help with shows or recording or anything along those lines please let me know peace out
Click to expand...

Grrrrr! I would NEVER respond to any ad where the poster could not even use appropriate punctuation, capitalization, grammar, etc. Drives me up a wall. If you can't be bothered to put a period at the end of your sentences, why would you be bothered to 1) respond to communication regarding band, 2) show up to practice / gig, 3) learn the music, 4) bathe yourself.
 
#349
nojj said:
New one here in Pittsburgh


Hey, I'm a bassist (Lower Burrell)
That's right, I'm a bassist. And a kickass one, at that. You need me. I'm not gonna slap, tap, or any of that gimmicky bullsh*t. I'm not gonna play metal, hardcore, grindcore, thrash, or any of that stupid bullsh*t. You want melodic McCartney-style walking basslines? Got it! You want someone with reliable gear, transportation, no ego (seriously), no drugs, no stupid team jerseys worn every f***ing day, no pants below the ass even though I'm wearing a belt, no crooked trucker style hat bought at Hot Topic because I'm a f***ing MTV generation tool, and tons of experience? Got it. I also have keyboard skills, too. Online samples? Suck it... you send ME to your music and I'll decide whether or not it's worth my time. I'm in my mid-twenties and tired of punks and wannabe shredders booking shows in local VFW's. Let's get it done, bi*ch.
They call me... god
Ps... this is a real ad. Reply if interested
Click to expand...

LMAO! Excellent entertainment value.
 
#350
My name is Mudd said:
Do that, then find a band named Godzilla, and then have the Mother Of All Battle of the Bands...
Click to expand...

TOOL460002 said:
Be sure to dress up the stage a bit with some small-scale buildings. I'd buy tickets in a heart beat.
Click to expand...

Please do this! Would it be super tasteless to suggest you play a Japanese preschool, you know, to complete the effect? :hiding:
 
#351
GlennW said:
Ad for bass player:
Female fronted variety dance band currently seeking an experienced bass player. The band consists of guitar, keyboard, drums and female lead singer.

Ad for drummer (two days later):
Female fronted variety dance band currently seeking an experienced drummer. The band consists of guitar, keyboard, bass and female lead singer.

Somethin' ain't right here.
Click to expand...

I know that ad. I'm the bassist that quit that band. The BL is a nice guy, but he can't handle the guitar parts imo. One day after I quit, the keyboardist quit (BL found another one), and then the drummer gave his notice.

Nice folks, but the BL can't cut it as the sole guitarist.
 
#353
Just found this image while trying to identify a 60s bass posted on another forum:

kent.jpg
 
#356
nojj said:
New one here in Pittsburgh


Hey, I'm a bassist (Lower Burrell)
That's right, I'm a bassist. And a kickass one, at that. You need me. I'm not gonna slap, tap, or any of that gimmicky bullsh*t. I'm not gonna play metal, hardcore, grindcore, thrash, or any of that stupid bullsh*t. You want melodic McCartney-style walking basslines? Got it! You want someone with reliable gear, transportation, no ego (seriously), no drugs, no stupid team jerseys worn every f***ing day, no pants below the ass even though I'm wearing a belt, no crooked trucker style hat bought at Hot Topic because I'm a f***ing MTV generation tool, and tons of experience? Got it. I also have keyboard skills, too. Online samples? Suck it... you send ME to your music and I'll decide whether or not it's worth my time. I'm in my mid-twenties and tired of punks and wannabe shredders booking shows in local VFW's. Let's get it done, bi*ch.
They call me... god
Ps... this is a real ad. Reply if interested
Click to expand...



Somebody's posted rebuttal




RE: Hey, I'm a bassist (lower burrell)
Dear bass god,
Thank you for allowing me to even read your ad. I dream that one day I will have a fraction of the intellect and talent that you have in hopes of experiencing your brilliance. I will be studying your guidelines to see if I can build my skills to your specified standards.
Also I will check my wardrobe and adjust if necessary.
Sounds like you should start a solo project you arrogant pr*ck.

amen
 
#357
Yeah, Mexican Jazz Basses were totally $600 in '95. That's what's great about them. The price hasn't changed since introduction 20 years ago.

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

selling a nice 1995 mexican fender jazz bass in black n white. never left the house, in great shape!! might trade for guitar..... only $280 cash! paid $600 new. SWEET BASS!!! also selling acoustic b10 practice amp thats like new $75 or ill do $340 for bass,amp, strap & cable! SWEET SETUP!! READY TO ROCK.,.,.,.,.,.,. im allways looking to buy/trade any effects pedals,guitars or tube type amps, also old keyboards, korg, moog n others...
Click to expand...
 
#360
I can't tell if this is a job for a "layer" or a "player" based on the headline. Oh, and what's the telltale sign of a wanker? full caps with poor spelling.

BASS LAYER WANTED (WIENCHESTER)


BASS PLAYER NEEDED CLASSIC ROCK AND WE AHVE GIGIS COMMING AND WELL BE DOING COUNTRY TOO WE PLAYING WEDS AND THURS FOR AUDITIONS CALL US AT 951 230 2359 LARRY /GLEN AT 1 760-796-6193
 

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