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Dumb CL Ad's pt 5, Dumbester and Dumberest

#461
Schmorgy said:
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"hi there my band is called hardy rock and we are in for a need for musicians for our music band. You need to be honest and truthful to be in our band the age must be 22 & 31 for WE need a musicians that can play the acoustic guitar.and bass player and acoustic drums this is a rock/punk band that why its called hardy rock
for more info please call my manager renee (519)829_2230


THANK YOU"

Just from the way it's worded, I'm almost tempted to call that number to see if his "manager" is in fact his mother.
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I couldn't stop hearing Borat in my head while reading this for some reason.
 
#467
P Town said:
I thought the CL ad from Philly was totally tongue-in-cheek, and intended for entertainment only. Do you guys think it is real? Can't be. Can it?
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That's just the thing, though- even as humor, it comes across as so snide and cynical, it's like Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons trying to be funny. Nobody even remotely well-adjusted would sit there and crank out stuff like that just to post it to Craigslist...or would they? :eyebrow:
 
#468
Posted on the local kijiji
"Rock band looking for drums,bass,lead guitar. We have a few originals lined up and wanna throw in some covers too. Our influences/sound is similar to Led Zeppelin, Neil Young, Foo Fighters, Young the Giant.We're looking for people who are serious about music and who like to party and have a good time. If you want to stay in Saskatoon and only play local gigs don't reply. We won't be what you are after. But if you wanna work your butt off and see what the musician lifestyle is really like and travel the country, Give us a shout and we'll see if you got what it takes to be part of our band." I wonder what the number of persons for" our band" currently is...
 
#469
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"Looking for cover band...."

Nothing wrong with the ad copy (except that it provides no other details). On the other hand, the only picture shows a guy in a bedroom or living room playing an Ibanez 6-string GUITAR; there are no basses in the pic. He may not be playing at all actually, since I can't tell if he's even wearing a strap...

Hope this guy isn't a TBer, but I'd like to think TBers could write a better ad than this :D
 
#470
dazmond said:
Posted on the local kijiji
"Rock band looking for drums,bass,lead guitar. We have a few originals lined up and wanna throw in some covers too. Our influences/sound is similar to Led Zeppelin, Neil Young, Foo Fighters, Young the Giant.We're looking for people who are serious about music and who like to party and have a good time. If you want to stay in Saskatoon and only play local gigs don't reply. We won't be what you are after. But if you wanna work your butt off and see what the musician lifestyle is really like and travel the country, Give us a shout and we'll see if you got what it takes to be part of our band." I wonder what the number of persons for" our band" currently is...
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Here, let me translate it out of "B.S." speak...

"Untalented singer/rhythm guitarist looking for talented backing band to bring my awful music to the world. I've written the words to a few originals, but I have no idea what the instrumental should be...that's where you guys come in. We'll probably end up playing mostly covers. I'm influenced by a few bands that sound nothing like eachother (seriously though, Young the Giant and the Zeppelin are not very similar). I'm looking for people who are serious about having fun. If you want a steady local gig don't apply...I'm only looking for suckers who'll help me realize my rock 'n' roll fantasy. However, if you want to work your butt off bringing our (read: my) music to the world send me a text and I'll put you in the band without an audition (because I'm that desperate)."
 
#477
Ooh, I got another one, this time with a... picture?

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You have to admire their ambition, if not their ability to write in English...

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I remembering being in this situation, when I played only guitar and knew only other guitarists. Do ads like this ever really work?

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Can anyone help with the translation here? Why would they own basses and amps if they don't play?

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I remember being disappointed at the lack of funny ads around here. Did someone leave the doors on the asylum open last week?

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Miscategorized? Or are all the female bassists on TB about to pack up and move to Kansas City? :)

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#478
http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/van/muc/3980102910.html

Tone Deft and Lazy (vancouver)

I'm lookin' for a new group to play with. Got tossed from my last gig for excessive drunkin nudity. Seams nobody appreciates a well timed spinnin' greasy Larry. Each his own.

I've never made it to a practice and have no intention of starting now, so if you belong to one of those "we should practice" groups. .you can wank off too!

I'm completely deft in the old right ear. Not that it matters. I like to draw from an angry crowd. The inability to sing in key and complete lack of timing adds to my stage presence.

Now I'm probably going to have to borrow some of your gear. I'll take the tele if ya got one. You should probably also kick in an amp that blows out windows. You will never get these back. I will ride all that is holly out of them and pawn what is left. . ..just sayin'

Dibs on comp drinks, girls that wana hang with the band, top bunk, last toke and the drummers' sister.
 

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