• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Dumb CL Ad's pt 5, Dumbester and Dumberest

#502
And a cut and paste of that one:

"I could go to the mesa boogie website and copy/paste a description of this thunderous box of wonder, but if you want that you can look it up yourself, you lazy (yet inquisitive) bastard. I've got a metric **** ton of bass gear and its time to make some space in the closet for my increasingly disturbing leather collection.

This piece of equipment will act as your sonic chisel, allowing you to sculpt the musical masterpiece that this world craves. Low tones, left by the wake of the Earth's orbit around the sun have been sucked from the vacuum of space and stuffed, like a gluttonous teddy bear, into this small cube of treble-hatred.

If you don't want to buy this hand-crafted piece of history then do not contact me. I don't need a chatty friend who's gonna name drop "musicians" who've made no contribution, whatsoever, to the music community. I want this transaction to go down like I'm a nervous hooker on parole. Come in, take the beast for a ride, transact, and get out. I don't need to know your story and you don't even WANT to know mine.

The bottom line is this;
This 300 watt tube amp will make you famous.

Let me repeat;

You will become famous if you pay me one-thousand dollars for this amp.

I'm the most famous person in my household and its all because I took a leap of faith and landed on a Mesa Boogie Walkabout Scout. Once my bandmates heard me play a few fuzzy notes through my badass portal to bassville, they fell to their knees, gnashed their teeth and tore their shirts off in rage, feeling as though they'd wasted years playing their respective instruments when they could have been playing the bass guitar through a God's megaphone.

Come and Get it

Eric"
 
#503
Jokers...:D

Gummy's Restaurant ® will soon be opening a location in Vancouver, and will cater to a clientele who have difficulty chewing their food for a variety of reasons - toothless, dentures, old age, and other physical or mental handicaps. All meals will be served pre-chewed, to facilitate the customer's enjoyment of foods that they normally would not be able to eat due to their personal limitations.

We are currently looking to book musicians for evening performances. The ability to double as special food prep chewers before and after your performance will be an asset. Good oral hygeine is required for this position, since you will be pre-chewing meals for customers.

Reply to this ad with details of your music and restaurant industry experience. Pay rate is negotiable.
Click to expand...

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/van/muc/3992584129.html
 
#509
Found this today. Love the spelling. ImageUploadedByTalkBass1376580746.227174.jpg
 
#511
kcole4001 said:
And a cut and paste of that one:

"I could go to the mesa boogie website and copy/paste a description of this thunderous box of wonder, but if you want that you can look it up yourself, you lazy (yet inquisitive) bastard. I've got a metric **** ton of bass gear and its time to make some space in the closet for my increasingly disturbing leather collection.

This piece of equipment will act as your sonic chisel, allowing you to sculpt the musical masterpiece that this world craves. Low tones, left by the wake of the Earth's orbit around the sun have been sucked from the vacuum of space and stuffed, like a gluttonous teddy bear, into this small cube of treble-hatred.

If you don't want to buy this hand-crafted piece of history then do not contact me. I don't need a chatty friend who's gonna name drop "musicians" who've made no contribution, whatsoever, to the music community. I want this transaction to go down like I'm a nervous hooker on parole. Come in, take the beast for a ride, transact, and get out. I don't need to know your story and you don't even WANT to know mine.

The bottom line is this;
This 300 watt tube amp will make you famous.

Let me repeat;

You will become famous if you pay me one-thousand dollars for this amp.

I'm the most famous person in my household and its all because I took a leap of faith and landed on a Mesa Boogie Walkabout Scout. Once my bandmates heard me play a few fuzzy notes through my badass portal to bassville, they fell to their knees, gnashed their teeth and tore their shirts off in rage, feeling as though they'd wasted years playing their respective instruments when they could have been playing the bass guitar through a God's megaphone.

Come and Get it

Eric"
Click to expand...

luv.it
 
#513
Want an almost free guitar? - $600 (Conroe/Woodlands)

Why spend more than you need to on those "name brands" when you can get the same quality for a quarter of the price? This axe has extraordinary tone and playability. Professionally refurbished with all new electronics including brand new Gibson, bench-tested 500K industrial grade pots, new 3- way switch, two new Bumblebee tone capacitors and a matched pair of brand new Seymour Duncan 57' Classic pickups. Also has a new set of Grover Deluxe, pearloid, tuners. The fretboard includes beautiful Mother of Pearl/Abalone inlays, 22 jumbo frets and a black graphite nut. Nicely appointed with cream binding all around. The body is made of solid mahogany, the neck is solid maple. This is a semi-hollow body with a set in neck. All of the hardware is gold. This is a brand new and one of a kind guitar. It plays and sounds as good as it looks. Don't pass this one up because you'll never find another one. Please call or text: (832) xxx-xxxx right now or you'll miss out!

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
 
#516
We auditioned this guy a few months ago. He claimed that he was one of the singers from Cameo. Ironically, the guy who he was claiming to be died in the 80's. I can't believe that this guy is still feeding people the same line of crap...

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

and here's the text...

"ARE YOU A ROCKER @ HEART?? RAISED ON THE BEST (ZEPP..TROWER..PETTY..MONEY..FLOYD..as well as "modern" artists like "COLLECTIVE SOUL"))..ARE YOU AN ORIGINAL FUNKSTER..(BAR-KAYS...SLAVE etc)..DO YOU PREFER CONTEMPORARY JAZZ?? ARE YOU SCARED TO STRETCH OUT AS A MUSICIAN?? ARE YOU SCARED TO ADVENTURE INTO NEW DYNAMICS OF YOUR PERSONAL PREFERENCES?? are you EXTREMELY talented with a PROFESSIONAL way of doing things?? if you feeling this then come be part of a NEW FLAVOR..A TOTALLY NEW & DIFFERENT band..one that "rocks & grooves" the house with EACH song & EACH song having a diff flavor..IS NOT MUSIC THE UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE?? ima multi-octave lead vocalist with 30 years in the biz..over 200 LIVE shows..2 songs grammy nominated in the past..raised on funk..a rocker @ heart..influences are R. Plant..Maurice White..J. Dewar (Robin Trower)..Al Jarreau..Freddie Mercury..having the ability to do EVERY STYLE PERFECTLY..& have LOTS of new material..if you NOT SCARED & want to FINALLY get with a band PLAYING TRUE MUSIC call Tahir @ 832-xxx-xxxx..PEACE "
 
#517
We had a "bassist" come into the store once and say he was performing with Bootsy. He put a $10 deposit on a $1,500 bass and said he needed us to order 4 Mu-Trons (which of course we didn't). He reeked of booze and had a hanger-on with him. Pretty said I thought... I gave him back his $10 and said we were sure the bass would be here when he's ready. Never saw him again.
 
#519
I suppose this is one way to get a date:

Seeking woman accompanyment (Orange Co.)
Looking for woman to play instrument or just sing that enjoys very simple oldies, country, blues, etc. I am a mature gentleman who enjoys playing rhythm guitar and singing and looking for companionship. Not in a band but just for personal enjoyment.
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back