Dumb CL Ad's pt 5, Dumbester and Dumberest

[cyclopsbookworm]

There does seem to be a discrepancy there.

Also, '57 classics are made by Gibson, not Seymour Duncan. They make the SH-1 '59, which is what these probably are. Who knows.

 

[cyclopsbookworm]

It stores up tone so you can have more of it when you need it.

and if you run out of tone you can travel back in time and get some more. Don't run out of plutonium though.

 

[Major Softie]

and if you run out of tone you can travel back in time and get some more. Don't run out of plutonium though.

That's the FLUX Tone Capacitor.

 

[chuckNC]

I'm not sure what's funnier. The spelling or the limp string hanging on the ground. Like it's too much work for him to pull it out.

Looks like the very minute he broke a string that was it--the honeymoon was so over!

 

[Desirsar]

Yeah, go practice.

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

 

[LiquidMidnight]

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

I've been wanting to post this for a while and he finally put it up on craigslist again. This is just too much!

LOL

Some of these ads are obviously not serious and some are obviously serious. This is one of those that I'm not sure if it's a joke or if it's serious.

 

[LiquidMidnight]

We auditioned this guy a few months ago. He claimed that he was one of the singers from Cameo. Ironically, the guy who he was claiming to be died in the 80's. I can't believe that this guy is still feeding people the same line of crap...

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

and here's the text...

"ARE YOU A ROCKER @ HEART?? RAISED ON THE BEST (ZEPP..TROWER..PETTY..MONEY..FLOYD..as well as "modern" artists like "COLLECTIVE SOUL"))..ARE YOU AN ORIGINAL FUNKSTER..(BAR-KAYS...SLAVE etc)..DO YOU PREFER CONTEMPORARY JAZZ?? ARE YOU SCARED TO STRETCH OUT AS A MUSICIAN?? ARE YOU SCARED TO ADVENTURE INTO NEW DYNAMICS OF YOUR PERSONAL PREFERENCES?? are you EXTREMELY talented with a PROFESSIONAL way of doing things?? if you feeling this then come be part of a NEW FLAVOR..A TOTALLY NEW & DIFFERENT band..one that "rocks & grooves" the house with EACH song & EACH song having a diff flavor..IS NOT MUSIC THE UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE?? ima multi-octave lead vocalist with 30 years in the biz..over 200 LIVE shows..2 songs grammy nominated in the past..raised on funk..a rocker @ heart..influences are R. Plant..Maurice White..J. Dewar (Robin Trower)..Al Jarreau..Freddie Mercury..having the ability to do EVERY STYLE PERFECTLY..& have LOTS of new material..if you NOT SCARED & want to FINALLY get with a band PLAYING TRUE MUSIC call Tahir @ 832-xxx-xxxx..PEACE "

So is he saying that he wants people who are scared to stretch out and scared to go beyond their personal preferences?

And 30 years in the biz with only 200 gigs under your belt isn't impressive at all.

 

[LiquidMidnight]

No metalheads cause they're not real musicians. LOL try telling that to Steve Harris!

So if I'm reading this correctly, he's a bass player looking for a band (preferably with a tour bus), and he's expecting them to come to his place, set up a PA, and audition for him?

Epic.

 

[MikeyTheFinger]

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Bass and Drums needed for trio (Lafayette)

"What kind of music are we gonna play?
Imagine Leif Ericsson on bass, Moses on drums and Napoleon on guitar.
Ok, but seriously whats the plan?
A plan is just a list of things that don't happen.
When?
Like now, not getting any younger and you could probably die in a car wreck tomorrow, so, no time like the present.
Where?
Lafayette, BR, NO, etc...
Why?
Because **** it that's why.
How will we get gigs?
We'll just walk in, start movin tables, set up play for 3 hours and demand $300.00 from the manager on duty"

 

[My name is Mudd]

We'll just walk in, start movin tables, set up play for 3 hours and demand $300.00 from the manager on duty"

Taking the flash-mob concept one step further...the flash-band.

 

[Yango]

Taking the flash-mob concept one step further...the flash-band.

Ha, ha, ha!! The cops will be there in a flash too!!

 

[edpal]

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Starting a band - preferably men aged 25-35 (Chester County)

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

It's time to take our shot, and get beyond our current spot, not just impress girls that are hot, but surge beyond our current spot. It's make or break; our lives are at stake. This soulful vocalist and lyricist versed in music theory (flats follow in the key progression of BEADGCF and reversed FCGDAEB for keys with sharps, e.g.) who also plays trombone is looking to start a band or connect with a band already in progression, consisting only of guys, preferably aged roughly 25-35. Old enough to be disciplined, young enough to still have enough calculated faith to try to make it in the music industry in this economy. I would like to avoid Fleetwood Mac drama, that's why no female heterosexual members, and I already have a girlfriend and don't want the temptation, to be honest. That stuff breaks up FAR more bands than creates the fodder for successful albums such as Rumours; I don't want to roll the dice on that one. I could deal with one gay member, but its first come first serve on that one, one and done - still want to avoid sexual drama wherever possible. Or a without a doubt absolute lesbian, that would be acceptable. I sing best rock with a soul or blues tinge, such as Led Zeppelin (my favorite band) or the Black Keys, and can also make the ladies swoon when singing straight up soul or R&B. I also do like Jazz, some country, and funk. I can sing a mean "My Girl" by the Temptations and even Roberta Flacks "Killing me softly", substituting female pronouns for the male. But I am most impressive on songs like the Black Keys "Tighten Up" or "Little Black Submarines" or Led Zeps bluesy songs, although my register is lower than Robert Plant's. I am in the process of writing some songs. I am flexible with band format, but hypothetically would prefer 2 guitarists, a bassist, a keyboardist, and a drummer to get enough variety and depth of sound. Backing vocalists along with the instrumental skill would be preferred but not absolutely necessary. Let's jam and see what happens!

Location: Chester County

At least he had some reasoning behind the lead-in text.

 

[edpal]

Show of hands here:
How many bassists own a tour bus, or at least a limo?

I got a Caddy Deville....it's my mini-limo.

 

[Philonius]

More funny than dumb:

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

"I love this Bass, it is practically new, doesn't have a scratch on her. She needs a new home, one preferably that will love her and rock out with her. Still has a Fall Silent sticker on her that I can remove if you so please, or you could remove easily. Please no Linkin Park or Nickleback fans, I couldn't do that to her."

 

[SnowCal]

Bands Wanted

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Looking for local bands around Oroville and Chico area that want a chance to get thier name out into the community. We can help with getting the word out through flyers, our website, radio and displaying the bands name on our freeway marquee. We welcome Latin, Metal, Rock, Country, R&B and Rap music.

...

I'm amused by the idea of my band (or any band) randomly being on the sign for an RV park. Exposure I've never even dreamed of. It's possible they want to book bands at their RV park but I don't see anything about that in the ad.

 

[Bob Palmer]

From the NYC CL:


[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]


Bassist for Original High profile band AUDITIONS

Requirements - Skills, stage presence and extreme image - (if you look like you work in an office don't bother reading on)

"not a start up - "ready to go step in situation"

All original w/ influences ranging in - Sick Puppies, Voltbeat, NON-Point FFDP, -

Pro's w/ experience only will be considered - Total commitment required - any restrictions in your personal life will NOT be tolerated! "

 

[Double E]

From the NYC CL:


[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]


Bassist for Original High profile band AUDITIONS

Requirements - Skills, stage presence and extreme image - (if you look like you work in an office don't bother reading on)

"not a start up - "ready to go step in situation"

All original w/ influences ranging in - Sick Puppies, Voltbeat, NON-Point FFDP, -

Pro's w/ experience only will be considered - Total commitment required - any restrictions in your personal life will NOT be tolerated! "

Where is the dumb part of this ad?

 

[Saxn]

Where is the dumb part of this ad?

I think the idea that a "high profile band" needs a Craig's list ad, the abused apostrophe in the next-to-last line, and the overall general tone of the ad all contribute significantly to its dumbness.

 

[My name is Mudd]

This...

...the idea that a "high profile band" needs a Craig's list ad...

...and this...

...the overall general tone of the ad...

...had me wondering as well. To me, the ad in general reads like something written by someone who wishes their band met the description and either has a galloping sense of entitlement or a loose grasp of the band's reality.

 

[Double E]

I think the idea that a "high profile band" needs a Craig's list ad, the abused apostrophe in the next-to-last line, and the overall general tone of the ad all contribute significantly to its dumbness.

Well, there is that...I guess you're right.