• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join freeLog in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Dumb CL Ad's pt 5, Dumbester and Dumberest

They'll let you look at their houses. Instead of, you know, paying you money. At least they're not offering "exposure".

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

MUSICIANS/BANDS, SINGING GROUPS - Volunteer opportunity ((City NW) )

LOOKING for MUSICIANS/BANDS, SINGING GROUPS for the Maplewood Home Tour - Saturday, Sept 14, 2013 - to perform Noon - 1:00 pm.

We can't pay you, but you can visit the beautiful homes on the Maplewood Home Tour as our thank you.


Act all professional in a response to them, set it up, and then show up on the big day shirtless, the rest of you in a clown costume, wildly swinging a bottle of Colt and creeping on all the high-society ladies in attendance. Fart a couple of random times for good measure.

Tell 'em, "Hey...you get what you pay for" :D
 
Practice 3 times per week for 1 gig per month? That's a dozen practices before a gig...kinda excessive for covers like Running Down a Dream (check out the 3rd video).
------------------------------------------------------------
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Metal Band Seeks Bassist (fort walton beach)
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Holding God Hostage is auditioning bass players! BytchinLisa has stepped off bass and onto guitar and we need a bassist with as much flair and good sound as we can find. here are the links to some of our music videos!
we have a very nice recording studio to practice and record in. we practice 3 times a week and average at about a show per month sometimes more. we play in drop c and were looking for a bassist with a RIG! no practice amps! we need someone who is focused and driven to give 100% if you would like to set up an audition please contact bruce
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
don't these sell for $99 new?

and, no one in a Craigslist add ever admits to putting on the stickers themselves.

and, interesting way of stringing a bass, maybe I'll try that next.


[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

ELECTRIC BASS GUITAR (BLUE) $200

IBANEZ ELECTRIC BASS GUITAR

SELLING BECAUSE I AM MOVING AND DONT HAVE THE ROOM FOR IT ANYMORE.

WORKS PERFECTLY, USED FOR ABOUT 1 YEAR OFF AND ON.

STICKERS WERE ALREADY ON WHEN I BOUGHT FROM A FRIEND.
 
Not a CL ad, but I thought I'd share a funny. Some choice lines in this:

29. TEXAS:
Professional trapper hired to rid Dallas of wild hogs
Published: Monday, September 9, 2013

Texas has a pig problem with no end in sight as wild hogs are closing in on Dallas.

Wild hogs hit the state so quickly in 2011 that Texas allowed residents to hunt them year-round. And the epidemic even led to a reality show called "Aporkalypse Now," which followed rock star Ted Nugent as he shot hogs from a helicopter.

But the once rural problem is now hitting major cities. So Dallas brought in Osvaldo Rojas, a professional hog trapper. City Trapping, Rojas' company, was hired to rid Dallas of its wild hogs within the next three years.

Wild hogs are as fertile as rats, Rojas said.

"One adult sow can have six to 10 piglets," Rojas said. "Out in the woods, I guarantee you 99 percent of the piglets are going to make it. At six months, that same piglet is already fertile."

Texas' feral pig population has reached nearly 3 million, and in Dallas they are spreading diseases, bathing in rivers and damaging the parks.

Feral hogs can create $52 million in damage every year, according to the Texas Department of Agriculture.

Rojas plans to place large traps with video cameras all around Dallas, seducing the hogs with feeding stations (NPR, Sept. 8). -- LBL
 
don't these sell for $99 new?

and, no one in a Craigslist add ever admits to putting on the stickers themselves.

and, interesting way of stringing a bass, maybe I'll try that next.


[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

ELECTRIC BASS GUITAR (BLUE) $200

IBANEZ ELECTRIC BASS GUITAR

SELLING BECAUSE I AM MOVING AND DONT HAVE THE ROOM FOR IT ANYMORE.

WORKS PERFECTLY, USED FOR ABOUT 1 YEAR OFF AND ON.

STICKERS WERE ALREADY ON WHEN I BOUGHT FROM A FRIEND.

Is it my imagination or are a disproportionate number of CL ads featured in this thread from the Inland Empire?
 
This guy has had just about enough of your crap:

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
RE: Krut Special, Pearl 101P, JBL Speaker, Waukesha (IN Waukesha)
No one wanted this CRAP Yesterday, Last week! The Week before that, Last Month!, The Month before that!, Last Year, the Year before that, THE LAST 3 YEARS!! Everyday for the LAST THREE YEARS you post this same CRAP!! NO ONE WANTS IT!! GET IT????? You keep Posting this CRAP, and everybody will keep flagging it!!! Melt it all down, Or just Scrap it!!! If it Hasn't been bought in the LAST 3 YEARS!! Its apparent NO ONE WANTS IT!!!!!!!
 
From Tallahassee Florida.
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Sure could use some shallow people/person to collaborate/edit...well, actually I have a pantload of "Pop" tunes that I'm afraid are too deep. I really could use someone(s) to comb over these songs and tell me where "you" get lost. I could sidle up to that point and have a better idea as to why you're stumped, so I could dumb those places down.

Oh yeah, since I'm actually a musician as well, maybe you might could help with taking out all the melody so the composition can be turned into a nice jingle!*

Essentially I'm looking for someone who thinks they know what now is "hip" and could help with taking out all the Art and just leave in the crap that business people love to use to sell their mindlessness...Oh, yeah, it would be helpful if you play any instrument really badly, but think you're really good. That would help a lot I think, you know, to make the "beats"...well, you know what they do.

And if you're thinking you could fit the bill, and really you're just stupid, ahhh, well, don't apply because I'm looking for SHALLOW, okay!Thanks for your help...rainbows and unicorns for everyone...
 
Let's see... Be the accountant, notary, task master/dick, computer repair tech, and a couple of other things... And oh yeah, don't be applying here looking for too much compensation. Nobody else here better apply because this gig is MINE!!

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
*Office Administrator/Afternoon & Evening (Valdosta)

Office Administrator/Afternoon & EveningSeeking a take-charge, detail-oriented administrator for a high-stress office. You will wear many hats in this office, ranging from bookkeeping specialist, marketing to personal assistant, to office manager, to jack-of-all trades.

This position requires years of progressive experience to work under contract for us. You must be proficient with QuickBooks, able to handle all of A/R and A/P, with the ability to work from home when needed. This position requires availability during your off hours and weekends.*

Flexibility is key in our business. Skills are the most important factor in this business, along with the ability to get along well with others and the ability to work in an intense environment.

*You must be highly skilled with computers and able to make simple repairs.*

Just tell us when you can and cannot work and we will see what can and cannot work. This is a full time working in the office from 1:00 until 9:00 p.m. or so. If you cannot work those hours, please indicate what hours you can work for consideration.*

Other desirable hours are 12:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. Many of our clients are on the west coast so it is important that we be available to serve them during their working hours.*

You will be responsible for clearing up all past, current and future issues, A/P; A/R., preparing 1099s, auditing the books, collections. There is a lot of work to do. You must work fast, and not be a chatty person, and not be tardy, or absent frequently.

You must be full charge with QuickBooks with set goals and you must work interdependently without handholding. Notice that the word interdependent is used instead of independently. We communicate if you work for us! You take orders from us if you work with us, but you must be very strict with my staff that they do what needs to be done to make bookkeeping professional and organized and invoices be mailed timely and a focus on collections!*

You must be available by cell phone outside the office. At all times, you must respect confidentiality. You must not be insubordinate.*You must be thoroughly tough with staff and a taskmaster and as demanding as need be for the good of the company. Your loyalty is to the company, and but to one person other than yourself, and that is to the owner.*

You must have internet at home, and should have fax if you work elsewhere. Also, we perform a credit and a background check for civil and criminal history and thoroughly investigate your references using a private investigator. In this role, we do not want any surprises. We require you to have a cell phone and car insurance. We pay you as a contractor and 1099.*

We require you to be a notary, at your expense, to work for us.*

You must be on call to work for us to answer questions outside of regular working hours.*To be considered, you must include your skills and salary history as a starting point for discussions, in a cover letter, which we will ultimately verify if an offer is made, indicating your demands. We are a small business in a struggling environment, so if your demands are above average or high, please do not apply. If your skills are low, also do not apply.*

We do want to talk with you! Either way, we wish you well and thank you for considering us.*