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Dumb CL Ad's pt 5, Dumbester and Dumberest

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Thor, Mar 22, 2013.

  1. jjmuckluckjr


    Mar 24, 2015
    You've obviously never been to Pittsburgh, they make Russia look positively left leaning.;)
  2. 40Hz

    40Hz Supporting Member

    At least you can still post about Metal on Craigslist. But try posting anything about Aryan Reggae and you just watch what happens! What more proof for the existence of an Illuminati/Bigfoot conspiracy do we need than that?
  3. Jeff Elkins

    Jeff Elkins Gold Supporting Member

    Sep 13, 2007
    Johnson City, TN
  4. Forty-Thirty


    Feb 22, 2015
  5. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Moderator Staff Member

    Jeff Elkins and Forty-Thirty like this.
  6. What if Aaron started a metal band and it was so good that Cthulu rose up and ended humanity?
  7. reddesert


    Mar 19, 2015
    Great Cthulhu prefers soft rock to metal, for it more quickly drives humans mad and condemns their souls to eternal repetition of unspeakable agonies.
    Forty-Thirty likes this.
  8. GIBrat51

    GIBrat51 Innocent as the day is long Supporting Member

    Mar 5, 2013
    South Bend, Indiana
    Seriously.. I thought everyone knew this. What else would he be dreaming of, in His house at R'lyeh, but putting us to eternal torment?:nailbiting:
  9. Gravedigger Dav

    Gravedigger Dav Supporting Member

    Mar 13, 2014
    Springtown, Texas
    Careful. So far this thread has been good fun. Please don't screw it up.
    Ironbar likes this.
  10. Gaolee

    Gaolee Official leathers tester and crash dummy

    And here I thought the world needed another earnest folk singer-songwriter. I'm so ashamed to have been so wrong.
  11. Killed_by_Death

    Killed_by_Death Snaggletooth Inactive

    What the world needs are more 3 piece bands where the vocalist is the bassist.
  12. Gaolee

    Gaolee Official leathers tester and crash dummy

    And named Aaron. Aaron is who we all want to be now.
  13. Joebarnes


    Oct 4, 2011
    Surrey, BC
    Can anybody else....

    Can anybody else.... (Surrey)

    Can anybody else remember how rock and roll was an exciting emotionally charged extravaganza of f*** the establishment? Does anybody else vomit in their own mouth every time they here the three words "American", "I" and "dull" used in the same sentence?

    Are you also a killer musician?

    Most importantly, are you a motor head too?

    I am a cocky, confident, energetic frontman. I make no apologies for being a true rock and roll mother******. I wanna f*** political correctness in the sphincter, all over the stage while respecting your right to remain offended.

    People talk about working their asses off to perfect their craft. I don't even get that. If you call me at 3:00 am to ask if i wanna jam, I'm knocking on the studio door before you can hang up the phone. If, i gotta werk at 8:00 am the same morning, well that's why man invented drugs.

    I know more covers than you can imagine, as well as being an extremely talented wordsmith. A real cunning linguist.

    Get it? Call me. Don't get it? Go f*** your hat!
    Ironbar likes this.
  14. Bellingham musicians section is half full of posts between these two guys arguing.

    Apparently one participant is offended by the fact that the other is always posting condescending ads in response to people looking for bands.
  15. Ironbar

    Ironbar Inactive

    Aug 24, 2013
    Tigard, Oregon
    OK that actually made me laugh out loud!
  16. BassGuyFL

    BassGuyFL Formerly known as RichardCranium

    Mar 9, 2009
    Boynton Bch FL
    South Florida for the win again. Wants basically friends/drug buddies but no flakes. Also be able to drive yourself home drunk. :eek::unsure::facepalm:

    Bassist Looking For Bandmates & Friends

    Bassist Looking For Bandmates & Friends (Lake Worth)

    Hey guys, my name is Mike. I'm 23. This post is gonna be a little different, but here it goes.

    I play some bass guitar. I'm not amazing, but I can hold my own among other average musicians. I'm looking for a guitarist and a drummer to jam with. But I don't want just any guitarist or drummer. I want to find musicians who are just as much my friends as they are bandmates. Nobody seems to talk about the friendship aspect on here, but I feel as though it's important. That, and I literally have no friends in the area. I figure jamming is a good way to change that.

    I am somewhat picky as to who I'm looking for, so pay attention.

    I want people around my age. I tend to get along best with people my age. I don't want to be buying beer for someone underage, and I don't want to have to relate to an older individual. Simply put, if you're not in your 20s, this isn't for you, sorry. This is just as much about me finding friends as it is finding musicians, and I'd like some friends around my age.

    I want musicians who party. I like to drink and smoke weed while I jam. You should too. Musicians that catch a buzz together groove the best. I'm a firm believer in that. I'm not saying you gotta be some crazy party animal or anything, but you gotta partake to some degree. I don't want anyone who's sober, or someone who can't hold their buzz. I'd rather have a heroin addict than a non-smoking, non-drinking buzzkill individual to deal with. And please, do not be a p****. If I have to drive your car home from a show because you drank 6 PBRs and you're too "f***** up" to drive, you're gonna piss me off. I know, that sounds like a weird requirement, but past experiences have shown me that this is important. I'm also a big fan of mushrooms, so if we can trip together, that'd be awesome!

    As far as genre goes, I'm pretty flexible. It has to be rock-oriented, but I'll do almost anything of the sort. I'm open to hardcore punk, pop-punk, emo, screamo, hardcore, post-rock, indie rock, metalcore, post-hardcore, whatever. The only things I DON'T want are country, classic rock and classic-punk. Also, straight metal is kind of a turn off for me (I'm not a metal head). But I'd like to try and adapt to what you like to play. Yes, I have my own tastes, but what's more important to me is catching a buzz and being able to click and grove together. From there, we can figure it out.

    Please be in the area, as in Palm Beach County. I live in Lake Worth. If we're having to drive more than 30 minutes to meet up, that's silly. Be close. It would help if you have a dedicated practice spot; the jamspots I have are sketchy at best, but they will work in a pinch. I live in an apartment, and while nobody has complained about noise, I doubt they would want a drumkit around. I also have an office space that we could use after hours. If we have to, we could rent a storage unit.

    And most importantly, please don't be a flake. I really, really f***** hate flakes. If you're gonna hit me up, be serious about meeting up. Don't email me and set up plans only to back out later or disappear altogether. I've only lived in Florida for a few months, but I find that the people here are notorious for that. Where I come from, that's unacceptable. So if you're gonna flake, go waste someone else's time.

    I don't care if you're male/female/trans or if you're black/white/whatever. That stuff is meaningless to me. All religions are fine too, as long as you aren't overbearing.

    So that's pretty much it. If you're a drummer and/or guitarist and this sounds up your alley, shoot me an email, and we can go from there!
  17. Fat Steve

    Fat Steve The poodle bites, the poodle chews it.

    When I was in my 20's and if I lived in the area, that would've been a good fit. Nothing too crazy about that ad in my eyes. He was honest about his requirements and his intentions. Good on him.
    catcauphonic likes this.
  18. ArtechnikA

    ArtechnikA I endorsed a check once... Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 24, 2013
    Cosmic Virtuoso Keyboardist will make you're band awesome
    Cosmic Virtuoso Keyboardist will make you're band awesome
    My name's Dale and I love 3 things. . .blazing on the keys, the environment, and tripping face. I'm pretty much a virtuoso in all music settings, but I also like to keep it real. I'm not into pop or metal, or any synth-programmed nonsense. I'm an artist. Give me some jazz or fusion, or better yet, some Grateful Dead or Phish. Bottom line, the band I'm in will need to jam and improve....BIG TIME. I have a LOT of top shelf gear, and use most of it when I gig. The rig consists of 6 different boards for all the ideal sounds and tones I need for every style within the kindest jam-band genres. Just imagine how that'll all sound tearing outta China Cat /Ryder into Uncle John's Band. Makes me wanna trip balls just thinking about it.

    Some other items to consider. Lets keep the vocals to a minimum, and the guitar licks crunchy and upbeat. If we play a song that lasts under 15 minutes something is wrong. Side note, I'm probably the best musician you've ever played with. Also, I'll need to have full creative freedom to do what I want. But I don't really see that being a problem for you guys. I regularly micro-dose LSD and Psilocybin which heightens all my senses and reflexes, making me even better on the keys, and fantastic at life in general. Also I drive a Prius, which is awesome, but I cant fit all my gear in that. So I'll need you guys to figure who transports my gear as needed for gigs. The good news is I probably only need a few boards in a practice setting so I can just keep a separate rig at somebody's house. To be honest we probably don't need to practice anyway because we're just going to be full out jammin when we gig. You know what, we can figure all that our later. We'll also need to figure out who scores the best and dankest weed. Probably me, but I'm willing to keep an open mind with that.

    Make sure you guys brush up on all your spacey psychedelic chops before we get together. You're gonna need it. Looking forward to you guys enjoying me kill it with my magical skills, uber-creative spaced-out-jam ideas, and killer selection of tie dyes, beads, panchos, and an occasional members-only jacket. Hit me up. This is a great opportunity for you.
    2cooltoolz, Steve-Mo, DblG and 3 others like this.
  19. stacker

    stacker Inactive

    Feb 24, 2010
    Fknell, what a space cadet!!
  20. Holdsg

    Holdsg Talkbass > Work Gold Supporting Member

    Sep 10, 2009
    Alta Loma, CA
    some of these have to be sarcasm from other band members. I'd say 80% of posts like that are directed at clueless people that are in the band they just left.
  21. Primary

    Primary TB Assistant

    Here are some related products that TB members are talking about. Clicking on a product will take you to TB’s partner, Primary, where you can find links to TB discussions about these products.

    Apr 11, 2021

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