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Dumb Craig's List Ads pt.4: Dumber and Dumbest
- Thread starter Thor
- Start date
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GAAAAUUUGGHHH!!!! He is a TB'er!! And the price has gone up!
http://www.talkbass.com/forum/f129/beautiful-warmoth-black-korina-jazz-body-please-read-920993/
http://www.talkbass.com/forum/f129/beautiful-warmoth-black-korina-jazz-body-please-read-920993/
Well I'll be damned. Had the pictures with the control plate been on CL, I would have actually bought it.
A snip from another CL post:
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
This, to me, is everything that's wrong with the L.A. music scene. Some of my favorite bands are on his list, he and I obviously grabbed very different meanings and feelings from the same music.
"Looking for:
Band members, not session musicians!
20 -30 years old
Ability to practice/reherse @ the least 3-4 times weekly.
If you're an unsigned band who currently are looking for a singer or guitarist replacement, or if you're a cover band, do not contact me!
Also people who have families, kids, serious careers, mortgages, loans, etc...and can not put forth the time to dedicate do not contact me!
Serious inquires only! "
"Looking for drummer, bass player, lead guitarist....Please submit YOUR BASIC INFO, LINK TO YOUR WORK(if you have anythig recorded), your LOCATION and a PHOTO of yourself , to save us time from answering to many emails."
Usually these CL ads for musicians state that you must have your life together and can financially support the hobby. This is the first one I've seen looking for attractive unemployed social wrecks who still live at mom's house... and If your looking for every other player in the band how can you use the term "save us time"
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
This, to me, is everything that's wrong with the L.A. music scene. Some of my favorite bands are on his list, he and I obviously grabbed very different meanings and feelings from the same music.
"Looking for:
Band members, not session musicians!
20 -30 years old
Ability to practice/reherse @ the least 3-4 times weekly.
If you're an unsigned band who currently are looking for a singer or guitarist replacement, or if you're a cover band, do not contact me!
Also people who have families, kids, serious careers, mortgages, loans, etc...and can not put forth the time to dedicate do not contact me!
Serious inquires only! "
"Looking for drummer, bass player, lead guitarist....Please submit YOUR BASIC INFO, LINK TO YOUR WORK(if you have anythig recorded), your LOCATION and a PHOTO of yourself , to save us time from answering to many emails."
Usually these CL ads for musicians state that you must have your life together and can financially support the hobby. This is the first one I've seen looking for attractive unemployed social wrecks who still live at mom's house... and If your looking for every other player in the band how can you use the term "save us time"
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
Need one arm drummer for Def Leppard Tribute Band (Dallas)
Date: 2012-10-02, 10:03AM CDT
Reply to this post [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
We need a one arm Drummer for a Def Leppard Tribute Band. You must look and play like Rick Allen.
We all look the part, so please dont responed if you have two arms. OR you must be willing to cut one of your arms off.
We got gigs lined up!
Need one arm drummer for Def Leppard Tribute Band (Dallas)
Date: 2012-10-02, 10:03AM CDT
Reply to this post [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
We need a one arm Drummer for a Def Leppard Tribute Band. You must look and play like Rick Allen.
We all look the part, so please dont responed if you have two arms. OR you must be willing to cut one of your arms off.
We got gigs lined up!
I always wonder if these super-demanding, delusions of grandeur type of ads ever get any responses.
http://duluth.craigslist.org/muc/3317034200.html[/URL][Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
"I'm an accomplished vocalist with a strong mid and high range.
I sing along with a lot of Elton John, Radiohead, Smashing Pumpkins, Duran Duran, Gtant Lee Buffalo, Chris Whitley, Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, Tool, Blind Melon, R.E.M. Jane's Addiction.
And can basically emulate the vocal styles of any of them, and many more, to a reasonable facsimile, not karaoke, tribute.
My original voice is more like if Elton John and Perry Ferrel had a golden throated love child.
I don't want to do exclusive covering, I'm a keyboardist and lyricist as well.
I won't sing your lyrics if I think they suck.
A band should be Family first / Business second.
I ain't working with no nineteen year-olds, don't really care how talented they are, I don't like their politics and obsessive phone use.
No douche bag jock rock, I love it, but I'm not singing it.
No whiny emo/hipster bands, I like the music, I just hate the people who make it, not as musicians, but as people, with their oh so clever hair do's and sewn on clothing draped carelessly around their love handles, because even if they don't eat, being depressed makes you lazy.
No hippie jam bands, meh.
No junky/addict gang bangs, I've cleaned up and I'm staying that way, damnit.
So, if you want your band to stop sucking, swoop me up.
If you suck personally, I can't help you. "
"I'm an accomplished vocalist with a strong mid and high range.
I sing along with a lot of Elton John, Radiohead, Smashing Pumpkins, Duran Duran, Gtant Lee Buffalo, Chris Whitley, Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, Tool, Blind Melon, R.E.M. Jane's Addiction.
And can basically emulate the vocal styles of any of them, and many more, to a reasonable facsimile, not karaoke, tribute.
My original voice is more like if Elton John and Perry Ferrel had a golden throated love child.
I don't want to do exclusive covering, I'm a keyboardist and lyricist as well.
I won't sing your lyrics if I think they suck.
A band should be Family first / Business second.
I ain't working with no nineteen year-olds, don't really care how talented they are, I don't like their politics and obsessive phone use.
No douche bag jock rock, I love it, but I'm not singing it.
No whiny emo/hipster bands, I like the music, I just hate the people who make it, not as musicians, but as people, with their oh so clever hair do's and sewn on clothing draped carelessly around their love handles, because even if they don't eat, being depressed makes you lazy.
No hippie jam bands, meh.
No junky/addict gang bangs, I've cleaned up and I'm staying that way, damnit.
So, if you want your band to stop sucking, swoop me up.
If you suck personally, I can't help you. "
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
Bass player needed for touring, established band (Denver/Boulder/the World)
Date: 2012-10-05, 2:01PM MDT
Reply to this post [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
We are a 5 piece rock band that is looking for a new bass player. We have a new record coming out soon, a PR company on staff, a budget and a tour schedule. This is not a garage band. We are fully motivated and dedicated to making this a life long adventure, so we are looking for a brother/sister in arms. We practice 3-4 times a week, gig 3-4 times a week, tour 8-14 days a month. We are an original band but we play cove gigs on the side to fund our selves. Our next major move is shopping for management and labels. We have some radio play already but expect much more when the new record drops. Not to sound redundant but this band is our life, it comes before most things in our lives. WE NEVER SAY NO TO A GIG. So if you want to spend next spring and summer on the road seeing the world and playing some great music this is the band for you. Not trying to come across as arrogant but we need someone who is as dedicated and motivated to succeed as we are. We have a very top 40 sound and look that we know will take us somewhere. It already has on a smaller level. This new record will help take us national.
So if your still interested here's what we need.....
Bass player with pro gear and attitude (Our violinist plays out of an Orange Half stack....so yeah no Peavy crap please)
Must be competent at theory (You don't need a doctorate but a good understanding is necessary)
Must be at least 21 (Sorry absolutely no budging on this)
Singing is required, you don't have to be amazing just hold pitch
Must basically have no strings and nothing better to do for the next 5 years. A full time job and us won't work out. We do make some money but we all teach on our perspective instruments because of the flexibility. We can help you move into that if you don't already teach.
Must like to play all styles of music (it may not be your favorite but you'd play it anyways. That's our attitude)
So If I haven't scared you off yet and you are ready to step up to the challenge of a real band on the brink of breaking then please respond with the following.....
Name/age
Years playing
Degree?
Previous bands/projects
a link to you playing
WE ARE HOLDING AUDITIONS MONDAY OCT 22nd from 9pm to midnight. You will receive more info when you email us.
Bass player needed for touring, established band (Denver/Boulder/the World)
Date: 2012-10-05, 2:01PM MDT
Reply to this post [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
We are a 5 piece rock band that is looking for a new bass player. We have a new record coming out soon, a PR company on staff, a budget and a tour schedule. This is not a garage band. We are fully motivated and dedicated to making this a life long adventure, so we are looking for a brother/sister in arms. We practice 3-4 times a week, gig 3-4 times a week, tour 8-14 days a month. We are an original band but we play cove gigs on the side to fund our selves. Our next major move is shopping for management and labels. We have some radio play already but expect much more when the new record drops. Not to sound redundant but this band is our life, it comes before most things in our lives. WE NEVER SAY NO TO A GIG. So if you want to spend next spring and summer on the road seeing the world and playing some great music this is the band for you. Not trying to come across as arrogant but we need someone who is as dedicated and motivated to succeed as we are. We have a very top 40 sound and look that we know will take us somewhere. It already has on a smaller level. This new record will help take us national.
So if your still interested here's what we need.....
Bass player with pro gear and attitude (Our violinist plays out of an Orange Half stack....so yeah no Peavy crap please)
Must be competent at theory (You don't need a doctorate but a good understanding is necessary)
Must be at least 21 (Sorry absolutely no budging on this)
Singing is required, you don't have to be amazing just hold pitch
Must basically have no strings and nothing better to do for the next 5 years. A full time job and us won't work out. We do make some money but we all teach on our perspective instruments because of the flexibility. We can help you move into that if you don't already teach.
Must like to play all styles of music (it may not be your favorite but you'd play it anyways. That's our attitude)
So If I haven't scared you off yet and you are ready to step up to the challenge of a real band on the brink of breaking then please respond with the following.....
Name/age
Years playing
Degree?
Previous bands/projects
a link to you playing
WE ARE HOLDING AUDITIONS MONDAY OCT 22nd from 9pm to midnight. You will receive more info when you email us.
Violinist must seriously shred. I'd email to find out what band it is.
I completely understand the seriousness of the ad. especially on craigslist. I even think it's a good idea to try to scare off the less competent players. I even like the rehearsal and show schedule. The humor I find in this post is the "We play covers to fund our originals" This tells me that the band will always be a cover band. Yes, I know some popular original bands started life as a cover band. But they weren't funded and touring as a cover band.
Eh, I take issue with other parts of the ad, but not that bit. I understand that one might like a style of music but not particularly want to play it.
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
Holy Cow, he priced his used bass a whole $50 less than a brand new one! What a bargain!
Craigslist price = new price X 95%
Holy Cow, he priced his used bass a whole $50 less than a brand new one! What a bargain!
Craigslist price = new price X 95%
Crater said:[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
Holy Cow, he priced his used bass a whole $50 less than a brand new one! What a bargain!
Craigslist price = new price X 95%
LOL You could walk into SA or GC and get a better deal on a new one. With a 10 to 15% off coupon an even better deal!
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