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Dumb Craig's List Ads pt.4: Dumber and Dumbest

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#642
LiquidMidnight said:
I remember making recordings back when I was like 10 with my Fisher-Price tape player too! I think she needs to step it up to at least an entry-level Radioshack mic if she wants to truly capture the dynamic range of her voice.
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Dynamics is the least of her concerns. Pitch, timbre, control, reducing vibrato, and finding another career are some concerns that should come earlier.
 
#650
tekdiver500ft said:
Dynamics is the least of her concerns. Pitch, timbre, control, reducing vibrato, and finding another career are some concerns that should come earlier.
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A good vocal coach can clear up her pitch, timbre and control problems, as well as get that slow, wobbly vibrato sped up(right now she sounds like my grandma worbling at church).
If she currently has a vocal coach, they should be fired immediately and sued for malpractice.
 
#651
dtripoli said:
A good vocal coach can clear up her pitch, timbre and control problems, as well as get that slow, wobbly vibrato sped up(right now she sounds like my grandma worbling at church).
If she currently has a vocal coach, they should be fired immediately and sued for malpractice.
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True, but in either case, the amount of money she is asking per gig is insane.

I think she had some other vids. I thought I saw a trash bag on her bed in one...
 
#653
I came across this one today...

I am a lead guitarist from X, located about an hour west of X. I have worked with some well known artists in the NE region and World Wide. I can play pretty much any style. I will not play Scream/metal it just is not for me; also country is not a style a really like but will play for the right money. Below I have listed some of the styles I can play. I have all my own gear and no commitments such as bills, family, etc. so going on the road is no problem, although the shows must pay. I will not travel and play without being decently paid (the Nashville standard won't cut it either). This is my career so the money end is a major thing for me just like every other artist that is in the business. Gigs and shows that your band has should pay around 300 per person for me to consider it.

I am drug and alcohol free, I also have a clean record, so you don't have to worry about hassles. Traveling out of country is not a problem, I have my passport; due to the war about to start in the eastern hemisphere I won't travel to Europe, Asia, or Africa. The one thing I won't do is flying, I do not like planes. I am fine with boats, trains, and driving. I have my own vehicle so my transport is no issue.

I take my career very seriously, in my previous bands I ran everything, management, booking, promoting, producing, writing, legal ends, and scheduling. If you are interested please send me info on your band, band history, and any audio and video that is posted of your band/group online. Feel free to ask me any questions in the email. I will send my resume, personal page, and links to my videos so you can see my ability.

I am only looking for Original Bands/Artists that are touring and or going to be touring that are looking for LEAD Guitarist. If you're just looking for players for a band to start up I am sorry I am not interested I won drive to another part of the country or Canada for a possible group, it is financially unrealistic.


Styles:

Blues
Jazz
Fusion
Experimental
Psychedelic
Rock
Space metal
Latin Jazz
Funk
Groove
Reggae
Folk
Acoustic
Ambient
and more
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My favorite part is the will travel, but won't travel due to the war about to begin the Eastern hemisphere. I listen to the news on a pretty regular basis, and I'm unaware of this world war that's about to start. The no planes thing is funny too. So any international gigging is going to be done in Canada or Mexico, I suppose.
 
#654
From Philadelphia:

Please Help If You Can I Need A Bass Peddle (Frankford Ave)

Date: 2012-09-27, 11:01PM EDT
Reply to this post Reply to: dbfjn-3301553308


Hi I just got home from doing a free show in country music, and when I got home my bass peddle was missing, if you may have a bass peddle your not using I can pay a little
I live on a low limited income and have doing free shows for just over 40 years now, I'm back home with my dear 93 year old mother who needs me, but I still enjoying playing
in our living room here at our home.

Call Tracie anytime at 215-xxx-xxxx

I pray some one out there can help me please

•Location: Frankford Ave
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 3301553308
 
#655
Another special one from Philly
female vocalist wanted. under 25 (bucks county, montgomery county)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2012-09-28, 12:58PM EDT
Reply to this post Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


i know every ones doing asking for female vocalist because they can hit the highest notes which is alsome. but out of every one of them there looking for hot girls and not worried about music. im 100 percent serious. me and my drummer are down to try out for warped this year. we arleady have alot of connecctions through mmr, restuarants owned by family, djs hooking us up with live sound and lights. we just need another singer/frontman. im the guitarist and im amazing. i play everyday and have nothing else to do lol. i sing as well and it grew to become very good range. i want to sound like we are in the crowd. were not gonna be like them but i want to write very catchy riffs.email me back. be serious and if you play guitar thats a plus.

•Location: bucks county, montgomery county
PostingID: 3302542664
 
#656
TNCreature said:
Another special one from Philly
female vocalist wanted. under 25 (bucks county, montgomery county)

i know every ones doing asking for female vocalist because they can hit the highest notes which is alsome.....
•Location: bucks county, montgomery county
PostingID: 3302542664
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She missed the one cliche' thing every celebrity/musican/sport figure says when they are ordered by the court to
perform community service or make a Public Service announcement,
"Stay in School"
Then again, I've seen way too many CL ads by college students with misspelled words, no punctuation and bad grammar.
So, perhaps the best thing would be to say, "Stay in School and LISTEN"

Favorite misspelled CL words:
alot - a lot
collaberate - collaborate
peddle - pedal
base - bass
there - they're, their
your - you're
rithym - rhythm
expirence - experience
alsome - awesome

craigslist and every other site has built in spell check. That's what those red squiggly lines under misspelled word mean. Right click and the correct spelling pops up.
 
#660
mndean said:
Hand certain people power tools and :eek:

It's not firewood, but it's not anyone's dream build anymore.
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I would have bought it, if that massive hole weren't so massive. I don't think a control plate will cover that very easily....


here's the ad for when it's gone....

Beautiful Warmoth Black Korina Jazz Body (Please Read) - $50 (Burbank, CA)


For Sale:

Ok here's the deal.This is and was a beautiful custom black Korina Jazz body from Warmoth. Tis body is messed up, but will still work out in a Jazz build. I brought it to Wilkins for the finishing (spent $275). The output jack hole was drilled too big. The only things that covers it is a Gibson jack plate which is included but no screws. Next, the control cavity is jacked up. I started to create my own pot holes up top and went too far with the router so I started to cut out the top like a normal jazz bass. Then I gave up. The new finish has many clear coat indents and scratches. This is definitley a project. A pickguard a carefully placed control plate will cover the hole in the body. I started too and made the screw holes but you can fill those and start over. Looks pretty good with a bridge on it (Badass) and pickguard and control ploate. Backside is fairly clean with not too many scratches. This would be and could be a decent build if you put the time into it..

The Black Dots in Images are from Photoshop so I could show where the bigger finish scratches are.

Body Weight Is: 5.8 Pounds.

$50.00 FIRM

NO PAYPAL.
NO SHIPPING.
NO TRADES.
CASH ONLY.
NO EXCEPTIONS.
NO BULL****

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
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If this was a TBer who did this- I believe you have to use the body as firewood, film it, and upload it here.
 
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