Dumb Craig's List Ads pt.4: Dumber and Dumbest

[Tat2dHeart]

A friend of mine in Minneapolis shared this on a drum forum. I thought that all of you would enjoy it as well.


[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

"Here's the deal:
I am going to play a drum solo the whole time.
You can play whatever you want--I won't be listening to you."

Does he really need a band then?

 

[rosanne]

A friend of mine in Minneapolis shared this on a drum forum. I thought that all of you would enjoy it as well.


[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

"Here's the deal:
I am going to play a drum solo the whole time.
You can play whatever you want--I won't be listening to you."

OMG, our old drummer seems to haved to Minneapolis!

 

[trkelley]

Watching older TB members landing with a hard splat in the world of youth/urban culture is pretty amusing.
Believe it or not, using that slang, especially in the fledgling hip-hop industry, is actually a form of professionalism. Ain't nobody hood enough gone take you seriously spitting all proper like.

LMAO bawse..... if i didn't have my 18 yr old kid up in Portland to translate I'd be completely lost. I have a sliver of cred with his hiphop friends cuz i play bass. He has me play bits of things on all my various basses, then he chops & dices & loops & puts them in his laptop and then kids spit all over it..... that's respect, dude.

 

[Joebarnes]

Lead Guitar Player Seeks Band

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Date: 2012-03-07, 11:31PM PST
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
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I'm 24. I play lead guitar, and I can also sing. I'm not bad on piano too. Been playing for 12 years. I know my theory. Got wheels, got the look, the attitude and the obsessive drive to make it. Pro gear. My ideal situation is a band that already has their act together, who play paid gigs regularly and rehearse once a week at very least, with the same aspirations as my own. I would like to contribute to material, but I'm also cool with just learning the songs and taking the solos. I can play anything from country to metal, from rock to classical. I believe that every song has to have a guitar solo in it. If you disagree, this probably won't work out. I smoke pot and cigarettes, but I don't drink that often. I'm an a****** if I can't smoke. Again, if you have a problem with this, it probably won't work out. My influences are Zeppelin, AC/DC, Sabbath, Metallica, Malmsteen's Rising Force, Mr. Big, Aerosmith, Michael Jackson and that one song by that chick Shakira when she's running around with buffalos in the mountain and belly dancing. I don't remember what the song is, what the lyrics are, or what it really sounded like, but it inspired me, therefore influencing me, so that counts. Weed is also one of my influences. And Bruce Lee. He's badass.
Here's a link to some demos.

 

[rosanne]

Lead Guitar Player Seeks Band

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Date: 2012-03-07, 11:31PM PST
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
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I'm 24. I play lead guitar, and I can also sing. I'm not bad on piano too. Been playing for 12 years. I know my theory. Got wheels, got the look, the attitude and the obsessive drive to make it. Pro gear. My ideal situation is a band that already has their act together, who play paid gigs regularly and rehearse once a week at very least, with the same aspirations as my own. I would like to contribute to material, but I'm also cool with just learning the songs and taking the solos. I can play anything from country to metal, from rock to classical. I believe that every song has to have a guitar solo in it. If you disagree, this probably won't work out. I smoke pot and cigarettes, but I don't drink that often. I'm an a****** if I can't smoke. Again, if you have a problem with this, it probably won't work out. My influences are Zeppelin, AC/DC, Sabbath, Metallica, Malmsteen's Rising Force, Mr. Big, Aerosmith, Michael Jackson and that one song by that chick Shakira when she's running around with buffalos in the mountain and belly dancing. I don't remember what the song is, what the lyrics are, or what it really sounded like, but it inspired me, therefore influencing me, so that counts. Weed is also one of my influences. And Bruce Lee. He's badass.
Here's a link to some demos.

Guess he couldn't smoke the day he wrote this.

 

[Wrilley]

Lead Guitar Player Seeks Band

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Date: 2012-03-07, 11:31PM PST
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
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I'm 24. I play lead guitar, I'm cool with just taking the solos. I can play Malmsteen

Edited down to just the parts that made me gag.

 

[professor_bills]

This one wasn't so dumb as aggravating
Ad said
Need bass player your band
swallow your pride and put down the guitar then. chances are you probably suck at it anyways, unless you practice 6 hours a day, or have been playing since you were 8. there is too many bands who need bassist nowadays. grow up. ;D

Like a dumba$$ I posted a response and someone flagged it can't imagine who or why.

 

[Martin89]

This guy is looking for a dummy who doesn't want his RC car.

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Custom squire bass - $450 (Apache junction)
Date: 2012-03-10, 3:19PM MST
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
Custom fender squire bass paid 850$ may trade for rc cars $$xxxxxxxxxxxx

Location: Apache junction
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

 

[TNCreature]

BASS AMP - $225 (Bridgeport nj)

Make me an offer. Picture uploader not Working right now.

That's right, no name, no picture and no description...
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

 

[My name is Mudd]

...and for the followup (this one has a pic)...

- [Invalid or Expired Link Removed] -

anybody wanna trade a bass for digitech guitar pedal
Date: 2012-03-10, 5:31PM PST
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
anybody wanna trade a bass guitar for digitech guitar pedal works good no power cord but can run on batteries or u can get another powercord cheap text me 559-xxx-xxxx


it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

 

[TNCreature]

CL - The land of the vague...

 

[I<34080]

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Beginner Guitar Lessons (ASU)
Date: 2012-03-09, 2:17PM EST

Anybody who's wanting to learn guitar with a pretty chill instructor, I'm your dude. haha Na, but if you really just want to get into guitar or get back into guitar I can help. I'm 18 and I'm currently a freshman up here at ASU and I've been playing guitar for almost 7 years now. I don't really have a specialty in what I play, I really just play it all. As for rates, I guess like 12 bucks an hour would be straight but I'm down for negotiations. Anyway, anyone who's interested hit me up and i'll get back to ya.

- Jake D

I wonder which frat this guy is in.

 

[f.c.geil]

One where they don't require scholastic aptitude or a passing GPA.

 

[spaz21387]

heres one pics on the page... According to this guy 2003 and 2006 are vintage... [Invalid or Expired Link Removed]


For Sale: 2003 vintage Behringer BX3000T bass head plus 2006 vintage Gallien-Krueger Backline GK210BLX bass speaker cabinet for a mere $225 cash. The head is rated 300 watts rms. The 2 10" speaker cabinet is rated 200 watts rms. This is a very compact bass amp. It fits inside of the trunk of my VW Jetta. Yet it will easily shake a building! Perfect for club venues and churches.

Email for a time and directions to try it out. Bring cash. No trades.

 

[TNCreature]

More Vaguery...

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Mini Fender Squier - $65 (Collegeville)

Needs a little screw where the guitar caple plugs into and some new strings. In pretty good condition,

 

[TNCreature]

What The???

Is Music Your Passion? Do you at times feel Stuck?

Well then let's talk, I'm in the mist of putting together a project set for June/July 2012. Currently looking for SixTalented musical acts in all genres of music to showcase and tell your story.

So if your truly Serious about your craft and it just seems like you havent gotten a break in the music industry this project might just be right up your alley.
NO fee is required to be apart of this project I'm just looking for ways to fix what has been broken, misleading and needs to be correct in the Music Industry we so much love.

Those in this Business Know Today's A&R Stand point is NO MOVE IS A GOOD MOVE, Let's work together to change their minds!

Please forward music links for consideration.

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[Martin89]

One where they don't require scholastic aptitude or a passing GPA.

That's pretty much all of ASU for you.

 

[TNCreature]

Well, he put it right up front, so...

so weird people needed (ggdd)

Are there any weirdos out there that want to play music, the word weird doesnt mean the same thing to me as everyone else. please if your weird, u hate work so much thats you have a phobia of it, shizophrenia, band geeks anyone that isnt a a douche babg or like an arrogant uncreative douche ( like so many on here) please respond to me and we can make some fun music. I envision a band of freaks and cool people. not metallica lovers. a black back up singer and possibly some goths with like a russian dancer would be cool. if ur differnt contact me and we can trade songs. I HATE NORMAL

Location: ggdd

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[TNCreature]

Edited by me. But I love all the vitriol and cursing, followed by "I'm a church goer (Christian)"

Late 30's rock guitarist looking for other noise makers & music lovers

Are these other douche bags for real? "We are radio ready!" "We have label interest" Dear gooddness... Sorry, I dont mean to be offensive but dude, the music biz is dead, you better do this for fun.

...Can I play all these band? Hell no, I'm not a friggin prodigy. But these are all bands that move me.

I have never been in a gigging band so f*****g what, I can still play. I'm a late bloomer. This isn't American Idol. I don't care about being famous and though I would love to play shows, If it never leaves the garage, I won't cry. A couple things, though. I'm a church goer, (Christian)...

My preference of "style" would be something between...Something moving and heavy but not so heavy that the Asian girls won't like it, Haha. Look... i just want to have some fun and meet some cool guys to play with. So... now that I wrote you a love letter, send me a friggin email.

Dennis

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[ksandvik]

I just saw a posting here in South Bay about something offering free drum lessons in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Just in case someone gets inspired to jump on the plane and after a 14+ hour or so flight via Miami could get free lessons.