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Dumb Craig's List Ads thread

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#361
I won't translate the whole thing, but some local rappers are looking for someone to record some scratching on their album in return for a mention in the liner notes and "naturally a free copy of the album". Yup, just one copy. And you thought $10 per song was cheap...
 
#362
rosanne said:
Are you looking for a "unique" addition to your band?

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Yes, there's something for everybody on craigslist. AND he has a battery operated PA!
Click to expand...

musician(s) wanted to collaborate with whistler (berkeley)
Date: 2009-09-11, 12:26AM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

Are you a talented musical artist? So am I. Let's work together. My name is Timothy, and want a side career as a musician. I have some classical training and background, but I improvise very well. I pucker whistle. Please don't be put off. Pucker whistlers don't use hands or fingers to make the sound, simply the pucker. Please let me know what you like to do with music. I also play classical (nylon string) guitar, and keyboard. On guitar, I mostly play improvised, original, melodies. I have a keyboard amplifier with three channels: one dedicated to microphone, and two for any type of instrument. I also have a rechargeable battery operated Public Address system with microphone. And I have a microphone and microphone stand for the keyboard amplifier. I plan to buy an electronic keyboard. My acoustic piano needs repair at present. I believe I am an excellent whistler. I will probably be whistling and playing guitar, alternately--one at a time, at a potluck dinner, background music in about a week and a half. (510) 843-2783

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

:rollno:
 
#363
From a local band looking for a keybaordist:

"What the hell is wrong with all of you?

Have people who play keys all gone completely crazy - either jazz, or weddings. Do you not care about music, or are you such stupid individualists?

If your brains haven't been scrambled from looking at a black and white keyboard and you think that individual virtuosity is less important than the beautiful sound of an innovative band - join us. We want to add some new space to the music we create. And it is good, in the style of King Crimson or The Mars Volta, but we're not afraid to garnish it with elements of jazz, funk, or heavy riffs. So you must be a person with an open mind because otherwise you won't get far with us, and you probably won't acheive anything in life like that anyway. Attention - we don't require you to be Peter Hammil, just play your part and don't be afraid to try new things, in exchange you will receive real music.

Write to us."
 
#364
pklima said:
From a local band looking for a keybaordist:

"What the hell is wrong with all of you?

Have people who play keys all gone completely crazy - either jazz, or weddings. Do you not care about music, or are you such stupid individualists?

If your brains haven't been scrambled from looking at a black and white keyboard and you think that individual virtuosity is less important than the beautiful sound of an innovative band - join us. We want to add some new space to the music we create. And it is good, in the style of King Crimson or The Mars Volta, but we're not afraid to garnish it with elements of jazz, funk, or heavy riffs. So you must be a person with an open mind because otherwise you won't get far with us, and you probably won't acheive anything in life like that anyway. Attention - we don't require you to be Peter Hammil, just play your part and don't be afraid to try new things, in exchange you will receive real music.

Write to us."
Click to expand...

I do not think it is such a dumb ad. I have seen a few key guys who were not quite all there, or simply did not know how to play in a band.
 
#366
5 punk bands want to play your house friday (anywhere)

Date: 2009-09-13, 7:49PM CDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

we are 5 punk bands looking to book a DIY underground show at your house this friday (sept 18). we would like to play outdoors cause we have a generator but indoors is ok too. we will be charging $2-$3 per person and we will give all the money to you, guaranteed. we play old school punk rock. we will be moshing but we won't be ******** and break anything. could be a long term buisness deal if you are cool like that as these underground shows are getting more and more popular. ask for band info.

Huhhh???????? My house??????
 
#367
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

perfect 1974 gold top les paul and 1969 perfect fender amp - $11000 (columbus)

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Date: 2009-09-14, 11:51AM EDT

perfect les paul gold top guitar signed by les paul $8,000. and perfect 1969 fender amp $3,000. both are in perfect working condition. call john at 614-77-3864. serious inquires only these are perfect.


Location: columbus
Incomplete phone number not withstanding, if you're expecting me to plunk down 11 grand for your gear, I think you could AT LEAST provide a picture or two! :rolleyes:
 
#369
Goodlawdy said:
5 punk bands want to play your house friday (anywhere)

Date: 2009-09-13, 7:49PM CDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

we are 5 punk bands looking to book a DIY underground show at your house this friday (sept 18). we would like to play outdoors cause we have a generator but indoors is ok too. we will be charging $2-$3 per person and we will give all the money to you, guaranteed. we play old school punk rock. we will be moshing but we won't be ******** and break anything. could be a long term buisness deal if you are cool like that as these underground shows are getting more and more popular. ask for band info.

Huhhh???????? My house??????
Click to expand...

I want to do that to one of my neighbors, when he's out on a week-end . Pretend I own the place, invite the bands and their fans, tell them the house is locked for security reasons, and then disappear.

They are so stuck-up with everything, even when we have guests in broad daylight, they complain about the noise.
 
#370
NickInMesa said:
I want to do that to one of my neighbors, when he's out on a week-end . Pretend I own the place, invite the bands and their fans, tell them the house is locked for security reasons, and then disappear.

They are so stuck-up with everything, even when we have guests in broad daylight, they complain about the noise.
Click to expand...

Leave a note saying "You've been punk'd!"
 
#373
Bout fell outta my chair on this one... (for those that don't know Lineage is an online role playing game ala World of Warcraft.
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

I know alot of you lineage players would like to stop wasting your life on that game and start a new life on the guitar. If you have a lv. 70 or higher dark mage I will trade my badass squire electric for it. If you don't know what a squire is it is fender's top model line. it will come with a few guitar lessons, a how did i get where i am booklet by tony danza, and a poster of rambo 3 with stallone. If your mage has some good gear with it I will add a chuck norris book for acting and a replica lord of the rings sword that i found at a flee market. just let me know what you think.
 
#375
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]


yeah, so im looking for people to play hardcore
no postcore crap
no screamo crap
if you play death metal and you like hardcore and are interested in playing it thats cool too
any position (vocals,guitar,bass,drums)
dont contact me if your not confident in your playing ability
i can do anything(guitar,bass,drums,vocals)
have a semi decent knowledge of the music
and NO KEYBOARD

 
#376
Sizlack said:
I know alot of you lineage players would like to stop wasting your life on that game and start a new life on the guitar. If you have a lv. 70 or higher dark mage I will trade my badass squire electric for it. If you don't know what a squire is it is fender's top model line. it will come with a few guitar lessons, a how did i get where i am booklet by tony danza, and a poster of rambo 3 with stallone. If your mage has some good gear with it I will add a chuck norris book for acting and a replica lord of the rings sword that i found at a flee market. just let me know what you think.
Click to expand...

and the lulz just keep coming
 
#377
NICE TRY GUY!



Lesbian Cover Band in Need of Drummer! (Kansas City)
________________________________________
Date: 2009-09-13, 2:31PM CDT
Reply to:[email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
________________________________________

We are a local KC cover band. We are all lesbians and are looking for the same in our drummer. We are covering a wide variety of music mostly in the alternative/rock genre. We practice in KCK on Sundays at 1. If you are interested you can e-mail me.

• Location: Kansas City
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


PostingID: 13725726


RE Lesbian cover band.... (KCK)
________________________________________
Date: 2009-09-14, 12:20AM CDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
________________________________________

I couldnt get your email to work. Im an acomplished drummer of 6 years , with pro gear and a strong work ethic. I like chains on my wallet, mullets and flannel shirts....as well as the company of an attractive lady from time to time. I have no sexual interest in men whatsoever, ( thats really gross) , and am a team player ( if you know what I mean) . I love to watch women dance, and shake it while Im playing music, and if all the guys stayed home from the club that night, it would be just fine with me. I hope you consider me for an audition.

PS, I hope it doesnt matter that Im a guy, seeing as we have so much in common, this could work out great for all of us. Thanks for your consideration

• Location: KCK
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


:rollno: ...
 
#378
I'm just beginning to look for another band, and the first thing I click on turns out to be a beacon of optemism.

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]


"Punk Rock Band Needs Musicians (or someone who can play) (Somewhere around Akron)

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Date: 2009-09-09, 1:02PM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

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Bass player looking to start a REAL punk band. I am looking for a guitarist, drummer, and maybe a singer. Q***rs and p*****s need not apply. Similar influences are a plus, but not necessary. Mine are GG, Antiseen, Cocknoose, Blatz, The Hookers, Zeke, Before I hang, Texas Mother****ers and a lot more."

:rollno:
 
#380
I hope this is a joke.

http://nanaimo.en.craigslist.ca/muc/1374765013.html

Hello there! (ladies and gentlemen?)
If you got that joke, then keep reading.

We are currently looking for a Bass Player for our Rock Band Band. This band consists of a Hard/Expert Vocalist, a Hard/Expert Drummer, and a Expert Guitar Player. Must also play on at least Hard level. Being attractive is a plus, as all three members are sexy bi-hotches.

This band practices evenings and weekends, fairly often, so the more available you are the better.

Please reply with a little bit about yourself, only serious replies will be considered.

We look forward to hearing from you!
 
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