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Excuses

#61
onosson said:
It's not about being a primadonna, it's about getting yourself into a position in your career where you are working under conditions that are acceptable to you - or not. It's your choice, ultimately, but one that's made up of a lot of little choices along the way.

In the past, I've been the guy taking all the gigs I could get, and now I'm picking and choosing and saying no to way more than I say yes to. And guess what - I make more money by being choosy, end up playing better gigs, and am a lot happier!
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Yes. Thank you!!!
 
#63
onosson said:
It's not about being a primadonna, it's about getting yourself into a position in your career where you are working under conditions that are acceptable to you - or not. It's your choice, ultimately, but one that's made up of a lot of little choices along the way.

In the past, I've been the guy taking all the gigs I could get, and now I'm picking and choosing and saying no to way more than I say yes to. And guess what - I make more money by being choosy, end up playing better gigs, and am a lot happier!
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Good point.
 
#64
JohnMCA72 said:
It's too late this time, but in the future if you need a few days after coming back from vacation to mow the lawn, wash clothes, figure out how to play bass all over again, or whatever you need to do to recover, block those days off your calendar in the first place. Then you won't have this problem.
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That's the point. What will the guy calling you think when you tell him you can't do his gig because you're mowing your lawn, or practicing? Don't misunderstand, I don't need to know how to handle these situations...I'm interested to know how others do. I just say no and don't allow an opportunity for discussion.

It seems that most of us do our best to be as vague about why we are not doing a gig we've been asked to do, and that most of us would try to avoid lying unless put on the spot, which isn't cool in the first place.
 
#69
I haven't read the whole thread nor do I (apparently) know that Mike Pope is a seasoned professional who, at this point in his career, does not have to take stupid aural wallpaper gigs for someone's 10th birthday party at Chuckee Cheese to make his rent, but I say I would DEFINITELY take two more days of vacation.
 
#70
But siriusly Mike, it's like dating, not like marriage. You WANT to go out with her again, but for whatever reason you can't. So you make it sound maybe more "inescapable" than it really is so that you convey your interest in definitely having a next date.
I mean, you call somebody up for a date, wouldn't you rather hear "I've got something I can't get out of this Saturday, but I'd really love to see you again soon." or "Not this Saturday, there's something I want to watch on TV..."?

We're all human, alive to subtext and nuance, even if we invent stuff that's not there...
 
#71
Pacman said:
I'd give the same answer I'd give if I was working with someone else:

"Sorry, man - I'd love to, but I have another commitment." (In this case, the commitment is to yourself.
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best answer i saw ( on page 1 anyway...)

Phil Smith said:
I don't think you would tell a BL that when you can't do a gig, unless you don't want work in the future.
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agree. telling the bl you just don't want to play is a good way to move to the bottom of his list, or off it. not saying it's right, but i think that's how it is.
 
#75
"Sorry, but I'm not available that night". No need to answer questions about where you'll be or what you'll be doing. If you have a pro attitude (as I assume you must if you're getting calls) you've built a reputation as being reliable ... the caller knows that you wouldn't turn down a gig frivolously.

I get calls for sub and one-off gigs all the time. Not one of the band leaders has ever had a problem with my telling them I'm not available. I took a gig last February for a gig in November. Another band leader called me in early September for a gig the same night and I had to tell him I was already booked. He understood perfectly, then booked me for Dec 29 and Dec 31 saying he wanted to get it on my calendar early ... grin!

So ... one month in advance isn't necessarily a long lead time. And one's reasons for turning down a gig are one's own.
 
#76
Pacman said:
I'd give the same answer I'd give if I was working with someone else:

"Sorry, man - I'd love to, but I have another commitment." (In this case, the commitment is to yourself.
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Makes the most sense, I may use this next time.

Then again, being married is a commitment too, so spending time with the wife is another commitment ;)
 
#77
It really depends on the context of the band and your relationship with them. If this group isn't that serious about playing out then I see no issue with a member saying no to a gig. However, if this group is serious about doing music then I think you're doing a disservice to this band by being a member. My original band and main cover group are rather serious, and we can't afford to have members skip gigs simply on the basis that they don't feel like performing on any given night. There has to be a legit reason, and saying you need an extension on your vacation once you've already returned home isn't a good one. Of course, both of these groups' members realize that each member sees the majority of their income from music, so anyone taking 'sick leave' is cutting into someone else's ability to put food on their plates.
 
#79
RustyAxe said:
"Sorry, but I'm not available that night". No need to answer questions about where you'll be or what you'll be doing. If you have a pro attitude (as I assume you must if you're getting calls) you've built a reputation as being reliable ... the caller knows that you wouldn't turn down a gig frivolously.

I get calls for sub and one-off gigs all the time. Not one of the band leaders has ever had a problem with my telling them I'm not available. I took a gig last February for a gig in November. Another band leader called me in early September for a gig the same night and I had to tell him I was already booked. He understood perfectly, then booked me for Dec 29 and Dec 31 saying he wanted to get it on my calendar early ... grin!

So ... one month in advance isn't necessarily a long lead time. And one's reasons for turning down a gig are one's own.
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What is "turning down a gig frivolously"?
 
#80
If you're freelance, why do you need an excuse? I would just say, "Sorry, man. Can't do it". If he asks why, it's none of his business. I would just say "Family thing".

Actually, I think if I was in town and not booked, I would just do it. I've been on stage 4 hours after my plane landed from a vacation in Aruba, just to save the regular gig, but, YMMV.
 

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