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Farting during a show

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#461
My guitar player 2 weekends ago during a christmas gig decided to eat a large portion of chineese food before the gig. His wife brought it for him and he ate it before going on stage. Ronnie has a history of foul bowels since he had surgery a few years back. I asked him if eating that was a good idea, he assured me it was sweet and sour chicken and it usually is ok for him to eat with minimal side effects. Toward the end of the first set I get a woft of this rancid smell. I was actually standing in this warm vapor. It smelled like rotten eggs lit on fire with burning hair and hot garbage and vomit all in one horrible stench. I had to leave the stage during the tune, my brother who was on the other side of Ron playing guitar had his back turned to Ron hiding in the very corner of the stage trapped behind the main speaker with no where to run. I don't wish that on my worse enemy!
 
#463
DaftCat said:
There should be a smilie of a farting bassist, btw.
Click to expand...
Will this do?
fart.gif
 
#469
Last ngith I was sitting about 5 feet away from a gas detector. I was eating dinner and I got up to let my dog out. I let on rip as I walk away and come back and it starts going off. Turns out my fart set it off, it said tehre was either a methan or propane leak and we couldn't smell any propane it had to be methane. I was laughing so hard and immediately thought of this thread.
 
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#470
CoDBassPlayer said:
Last ngith I was sitting about 5 feet away from a gas detector. I was eating dinner and I got up to let my dog out. I let on rip as I walk away and come back and it starts going off. Turns out my fart set it off, it said tehre was either a methan or propane leak and we couldn't smell any propane it had to be methane. I was laughing so hard and immediately thought of this thread.
Click to expand...

Wow. A special achievement award is in order. How many of us can say we tripped a gas detector? :)
 
#472
SBassman said:
Wow. A special achievement award is in order. How many of us can say we tripped a gas detector? :)
Click to expand...

haha!! I have... one of the places our church takes kids for camp has these detectors in the cabins for use in winter with the propane heaters.

ok imagine a room full of 11-14 year-old boys, and a couple of leaders.. on camp food...

It became a contest to see who could set it off the most..
 
#474
We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for
this 'breaking' news ...


Flatulence Allegedly Sparks Jail Fight

NORTH PLATTE, Neb. (AP) -- Brian Bruggeman caused a stink
at the Lincoln County Jail earlier this month and will now have
to answer for it in court. Another inmate, Jesse Dorris, alleges
that Bruggeman's flatulence, passed in close proximity to
Dorris, sparked a Dec. 14 fight between the two at the jail.

Now Bruggeman, 38, faces a Jan. 11 preliminary hearing on
the state's complaint of assault by a confined person. It's a
felony punishable by up to five years in prison.

Bruggeman is accused of injuring Dorris, his cellmate, when he
pushed him into cell bars. Dorris, 26, was not charged.

The two began scuffling, County Attorney Jeff Meyer said
Tuesday, because Dorris was fed up with Bruggeman's
flatulence.

Jail fights are common, Meyer said, but the cause of this one
was rather uncommon.

"It's usually about someone hogging the newspaper or
someone not happy about what's on TV," he said.

Bruggeman, of Hershey, is serving a 90-day sentence for
violating a protection order.

"He compounded his problems," Meyer said.

Dorris, of North Platte, is awaiting a January trial on a charge
of aiding and abetting robbery.

Brad Dawson, Bruggeman's attorney, did not immediately
return a phone message left at his office.

Sheriff Jerome Kramer said the incident was a result of
overcrowding. The jail was built in 1933 and has a capacity of
23 inmates, according to 2006 standards, Kramer said. As
many as 65 inmates have been lodged at the jail in recent
days, he said.

"You just can't get a reprieve from one another," Kramer
said. "When you've got a guy causing problems passing gas,
there's no way to get away from the smell."
----
Details at 11.
Now back to your regularly scheduled thread.
 
#479
Last night man. Wow. We had a great jam in our rehearsal
space. The boys sat down to a quick dinner before we
started.

Kev, one of my guitards, brought a 'Firecracker Calzone'.
Basically a self contained pizza with those pepperoncini
hot and vinegary peppers inside.

When we got to the second set, my gut was churning.
I thought I was going to explode. Right during this stylish
rendition of 'Summertime', I feel the inevitable gas buildup.
Right when the singer sings 'Catfish are jumping' I let off the
pepperoncini A-bomb. Man, that felt good. The horn player
took over at that point and fortunately for me, dispersed the
Gaseous Firecracker mushroom cloud without further
repercussions.

Yeah man!
 
#480
Last night, we were at Chuck E Cheese's for my nephew's birthday party. It was packed and those hot wings really fueled my motor. I took great pleasure in crop-dusting the entire place. :ninja: It was great. :D Kids were blaming each other. Parents were giving their kids dirty looks. It reminded me of this thread.
 
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