• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Farting during a show

Status
Not open for further replies.
#661
Bassic83 said:
....
Click to expand...

i see you are a huge fan of Farts :D ...cool.
i was in the artillery force so i know as well how to make some nice Booms.

BTW did you know that if you won't fart you can get Hemorrhoids...a friend of mine got them while he was holding them in so he won't fart in front of his Girlfriend.
so tell your Girl that if she wants you to be healthy she needs to let you sing from your anus.
 
#665
Asaf said:
i see you are a huge fan of Farts :D ...cool.
i was in the artillery force so i know as well how to make some nice Booms.

BTW did you know that if you won't fart you can get Hemorrhoids...a friend of mine got them while he was holding them in so he won't fart in front of his Girlfriend.
so tell your Girl that if she wants you to be healthy she needs to let you sing from your anus.
Click to expand...
Hemorrhoids are a pain in the @$$...;)
 
#666
Bassic83 said:
My GF got some internal cleansing crap at the health food store over the weekend...she's doing this "full body cleanse". She takes four of these capsules a day.
Click to expand...

i gotta tell you this. i suffer from ulcers [stress] so regularity has never been a friend of mine. i bouth this stuff called Tiao He Cleanse. it took about 3 days to work but when it did, whoa boy. black death!!!! i used to sick all the time at least 8 times a year for days on end. now i cleanse 3 times a year and i get sick once a year for about a day. well worth the "discomfort".
 
#673
Before rehearsal, the rhythm guitarist and I always go out for dinner. Last night we went to T.G.I.Fridays and I had the new Jack Danials Roast Pork. Man was it good!

About two hours later during the middle of a song, I hear some rumbling and it wasn't coming from my cabinet.

Holy Crap did I have "The Wind"!

I tried to get away as far as my chord would let me, (I really need a wireless), and I let one slip out. Wow did it reek! When your own farts make your eyes water you know it's bad.

Well I tried to clench as much as I could but finally I had to turn around to sing back grounds and as soon as I pushed for that high harmony I lost the clench!

A fart ripped out of my ass that if burned, could have heated Pittsburg for the whole month of January!

I knew it was just a matter of time before I would be sharing this jewel with my band mates.

It reached the singer first. I could tell by the tears in his eyes and how he was madly waving around his lyrics sheet.

Then the rhythm guitarist was overcome and he tried backing up the stairs, but it was to no avail.

The drummer was next in line to be assaulted, he seemed to be having trouble holding onto his sticks, much less continue to keep time.

The lead guitarist who's always in his own little world didn't seem to notice the stench but was wondering what the hell was the matter with everyone else. Turns out he thought the smell was from the cat. (That's a whole different story!)

Needless to say, it's going to be a while before I live this one down. There was talk of bringing charges of attemped murder by asphyxiation!
 
#674
OK, this one time I let one rip in an elevator. When the door opened there were about a dozen people ready to board. The stopped and one of them replied * SWEET JESUS DID YOU SH*T YOURSELF? Boomer threw up a lil, it was precious.
 
#676
OK so.. i have read this whole thread.. ya i have nothing better to do at work... i have never laughed so hard in my life...

Grade 10 Huge test i didnt study.. i took my seat.. right in the middle of the class, right after the teacher handed out the tests i let it rip, no shame.. it was amazing lasted alteat 30 secs.. everyone turned to look at me and i said.. "maybe i should take my test in the hall there is more to come" my teacher totaly shocked told me to just go outside and wait in the hall so i went out the smell following me, and he came out to see me and he said "thats the best way out of a test i have ever seen umm heard/smelled ever" then he looks at me and said "you didnt study did you?" nope :P he gave me an extra day to study just because i didnt have any shame
 
#677
x_Zero_x said:
OK so.. i have read this whole thread.. ya i have nothing better to do at work... i have never laughed so hard in my life...

Grade 10 Huge test i didnt study.. i took my seat.. right in the middle of the class, right after the teacher handed out the tests i let it rip, no shame.. it was amazing lasted alteat 30 secs.. everyone turned to look at me and i said.. "maybe i should take my test in the hall there is more to come" my teacher totaly shocked told me to just go outside and wait in the hall so i went out the smell following me, and he came out to see me and he said "thats the best way out of a test i have ever seen umm heard/smelled ever" then he looks at me and said "you didnt study did you?" nope :P he gave me an extra day to study just because i didnt have any shame
Click to expand...

what highschool was this man? i am from SJ too.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back