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Farting during a show
- Thread starter jive1
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This thread could be turned in to a book. I'm sure it would become a best seller! Congrats on 2 yrs and going strong.(pun intended)
Cheers,
Jim
Cheers,
Jim
what can I say? When you eat crap, your flatulence will smell like it
God, I should be ashamed of what I have eaten....
edmidlifecrisis
Registered mediocre bass player
Originally Posted by meev991 View Post
what can I say? When you eat crap, your flatulence will smell like it
Nah, some of the stinkiest I 've ever been exposed to were from vegetarians....."healthy" food produces some really stinky emissions, too....
Let's face it, none of them smell very nice no matter WHAT you eat.......
BTW this thread is just about the funniest thing I've ever read.....
what can I say? When you eat crap, your flatulence will smell like it
Nah, some of the stinkiest I 've ever been exposed to were from vegetarians....."healthy" food produces some really stinky emissions, too....
Let's face it, none of them smell very nice no matter WHAT you eat.......
BTW this thread is just about the funniest thing I've ever read.....
My roommate in the dorms last semester was a vegetarian...soy in any form apparently does horrendous things to your insides, and she sure ate a lot of it.
bassman314
I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary process...
Waaaaait a second....girls dont fart!
I had an ex who would waken me in the middle of the night.. with HER farts...
Wow. Im not sure I have a response for that.
i think the appropriate response is "I CAN'T BREAAAAAATHE"
edmidlifecrisis
Registered mediocre bass player
My roommate in the dorms last semester was a vegetarian...soy in any form apparently does horrendous things to your insides, and she sure ate a lot of it.
Soy BEANS!!! Need we say more?
Ugh....
That's great!
There was this guy I used to work with at the Naval Shipyard...he would pass gas, get his head down there & inhale, & then blow it out, basically, in his victim's face..
The drummer is too easy a target, guys, C'mon.
IMO, the best victim is the lead vocalist as he's doing his big, mid-set ballad number.
OMG, that is so vile!!! I have farted with enough power and volume to actually have it pickup up on one of the drummers microphones.
This wasn't during a show, but it was a good one....
Memorial Day... my parents took our kids to the parade and sent us to get some mulch for her yard (we have a van that has room, and my father's medical conditions prevent him from doing it). After picking up the mulch at Lowe's we head to the mall to check out some stuff. We're walking the main corridor and a rather snooty looking woman is pushing her young child in a stroller. As they approach, my stomach churns, and with VERY little warning, I let loose with quite possibly the worst fart I've ever released - it put my vegan wife's soy-powered farts to shame. All I could do was turn slightly away from my wife as it fired, then push her a bit as I accelerated so we'd avoid the fallout.
As they entered the cloud from my toxic expulsion, the mother's face wrinkles and she leans over the baby and speaks rather loudly "Good lord, did you just poopy in your diaper?" to her kid. We laughed pretty darn hard.
Memorial Day... my parents took our kids to the parade and sent us to get some mulch for her yard (we have a van that has room, and my father's medical conditions prevent him from doing it). After picking up the mulch at Lowe's we head to the mall to check out some stuff. We're walking the main corridor and a rather snooty looking woman is pushing her young child in a stroller. As they approach, my stomach churns, and with VERY little warning, I let loose with quite possibly the worst fart I've ever released - it put my vegan wife's soy-powered farts to shame. All I could do was turn slightly away from my wife as it fired, then push her a bit as I accelerated so we'd avoid the fallout.
As they entered the cloud from my toxic expulsion, the mother's face wrinkles and she leans over the baby and speaks rather loudly "Good lord, did you just poopy in your diaper?" to her kid. We laughed pretty darn hard.
I cupped a strong fart on my hand once and hurled it at one of my shipmates who was standing close to me. He looked like I punched him. I wonder if this qualifies me for the X-Men or something like that.
I guess I'll contribute with my girlie fart story.
I was competing at the sectional gymnastics meet where you have to get a certain score to qualify for state. I decided to throw in one of my extra difficult skills on the floor exercise hoping to get extra points.
I was doing my routine to Terms of Endearment, a very pretty song. I started my routine, dancing gracefully to the corner. Then I ran extra hard down to do my tumbling pass to get extra power (I was going to do a back with a double twist). I pushed so hard off the ground after my first flip that I farted REEEEEALLLLLY loud as I went into my double twist. If figured I was fine, because who could hear me over the music? When I landed I turned and saw both the floor judge and the flag judge (the flag judge stands at the corner to make sure you don't go out of bounds and raises a flag if you do) laughing hysterically. The other judge and flag judges had no idea why they were laughing.
You have to remember that gymnastics judges are usually poker-faced. They wear these blue uniforms with patches and they are usually crochety.
Well, I started laughing to see THEM laughing and it's very hard to dance gracefully when you're laughing. I was laughing so hard that went into my next dance move and tripped and fell. Right after I had performed a very difficult tumbling skill, I tripped on a STEP.
I didn't make State. All because of a fart.
I was competing at the sectional gymnastics meet where you have to get a certain score to qualify for state. I decided to throw in one of my extra difficult skills on the floor exercise hoping to get extra points.
I was doing my routine to Terms of Endearment, a very pretty song. I started my routine, dancing gracefully to the corner. Then I ran extra hard down to do my tumbling pass to get extra power (I was going to do a back with a double twist). I pushed so hard off the ground after my first flip that I farted REEEEEALLLLLY loud as I went into my double twist. If figured I was fine, because who could hear me over the music? When I landed I turned and saw both the floor judge and the flag judge (the flag judge stands at the corner to make sure you don't go out of bounds and raises a flag if you do) laughing hysterically. The other judge and flag judges had no idea why they were laughing.
You have to remember that gymnastics judges are usually poker-faced. They wear these blue uniforms with patches and they are usually crochety.
Well, I started laughing to see THEM laughing and it's very hard to dance gracefully when you're laughing. I was laughing so hard that went into my next dance move and tripped and fell. Right after I had performed a very difficult tumbling skill, I tripped on a STEP.
I didn't make State. All because of a fart.
.
What I really should have put was 'This has all the subtlety of being hit over the head with a brick'. That any clearer?
As for men and fart humour, is it any coincidence most men are bassists??? Ergo it must be more be a bassist thing than a male thing. My logic stinks....
Also, I DIDN'T say that I didn't find fart humour funny. It can be.......
You're constipated huh? It's ok. It happens. It'll all come out in the end.
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