It took me about 4 days to get through this thread! I must say... some of the best comedy I've read in years!! Almost a month since anyone contributed... so it is my turn. This isn't a gig story, but definitely a classic for me and my friend.
Back in early high school days, my best friend was spending the night at my place. I don't remember what we had eaten that day, but it was most likely our usual mix of junk food, frozen pizza, coke and anything else we could find in the cupboards. We spent the evening playing video games and doing the things teenage boys do, with a few butt blasters along the way. About 2am, we finally get to bed. I'm just starting to drift off to dream land, and my friend nudges me. "Hey... hand me the lighter!" Now... had I been fully awake, I feel my thought proccess would have been slightly different. Something along the lines of "Self, you need to move out of the way, as this could be detrimental to your health." However, being in a sleepy stupor, I mindlessly handed him the lighter and rolled back over. I hear rustling. More rustling. Silence. At that time, I can only describe what I experienced as a small atom bomb going off in my room. The blackness of night was completely replaced with a flame shooting from my friend's buttocks.... UNDER THE SHEET! The flame was so intense in it's propulsion that it reached the bottom of my bed, made a sharp right turn and continued towards my legs. The next thing I know, my leg hairs are all completely vaporized by this rolling cloud of flaming death. 3 things are happening at this moment. My friend is now screaming like a catholic schoolgirl from the flames burning his cheeks like a pig on a rotiserie, I am leaping from the bed for fear that I will be consumed by the flame and unimaginable stench, and my dad, who sleeps upstairs, is now on his way out of his bedroom to see what cataclysm is occuring in his basement. In the end, we get told to knock it off... and what is that aweful smell? Both of us were now missing a good portion of our lower body hair. Although his pride was extremely inflated from such a colosal blast for weeks after that! This is perhaps one of the most memorable childhood memories. He is still my best friend to this day, and I have never topped the bomb he dropped in my room. That... is my story. Now come on... let's keep this thread alive!
