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Gay Musicians

#61
MAJOR METAL said:
Hey Alex,

I came out when I was finishing up undergrad as well. I havent met to many Gay Rock Musicans playing the Music thats my passion IE METALLICA and 90's alternative rock. The whole queer scene as its called now I have a really hard time connecting with, actually I personaly find the term "queer" offensive as a self label. Others have found it offensive when I refer to myself and other gay friends as "Homos". To each his own but the way I explain it is, I havent found being Homosexual all that "gay" of an expirence (happy),so Homosexual seems to sum it up bettter. Its an interesting set of identifiers in the community right now.
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Thanks for responding, Major Metal! Love the name! :bassist:

I use Queer as a cover-all-basses (no pun intended, i swear) term to describe non-straight people. I've found in my neck of the woods that there's so much variation in preference and self-labels that it's just easier to have some kind of blanket term that didn't start with one gender or one preference. Plus, Queer used to be a derogatory word, and I like the idea of taking it back and making it affectionate. :) But to each his own, as you said.


MAJOR METAL said:
The Indie Scene seems to have more from ourside of the fence, it could be worth while to check it out and maybe you can meet someone who digs funk and jazz. On the jazz side of things, alot of younger guys who are studying music are playing jazz, so getting connected with some college jazz guys might find you some gay musicans of you listening and playing preference. Rock Hard ! MAJOR METAL. :) :bassist:
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Yeah, I agree with that. The indie groups around here have a wide range of folks. I just need to start playing in bands again (bands that gig, anyway). I live in the suburbs, and that don't help to good with the networking thing. I'd definitely like to plug into the jazz scene around here. I just started taking bass lessons from a guy who I think facilitate this, and I'm looking forward to jamming around. :hyper: Got some more woodshedding to do!
 
#62
your idol said:
in an eclectic place like seattle im shocked that you arent meeting more gay musicians. i lived in minneapolis and it was chocked full of gay musicians..and minneapolis is like the seattle of the midwest.
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Yeah, I actually know several queer musicians, but no one who is really into the jazz/funk thing. Everyone is more into electro and dance, or punk rock. At least, in my circle, anyway, which is really pretty small. And anyway, I'm just as curious about who on this forum identifies as gay or otherwise. :)

your idol said:
anyway maybe youre doing it wrong!?!?!
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:D lol, I think you've called it. I don't get out enough. I have a lot of hobbies, and I always find excuses to stay home and research computer science, or post on forums, or play a video game. I'm such a home-body. :P
 
#63
Jazz Ad said:
The need for homosexuals to gather with people of the same preference and be vocal about it sounds really strange to me.
I would hate to restrict my friendship to straight people only. I don't use sexual preference or even gender as a filter for my relationships.
I don't think it'd be very different if I was gay.
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Gay people have been discriminated against, beat up and murdered because they are gay. I am not gay, but I have close friends and relatives that have suffered this. There is more safety/security in numbers.

It's also a comfort thing. For example, a person might not have to wonder, "Is it ok to talk about this guy I hooked up with last night or is it going to freak them out?" or "Do I need to talk to possible bandmates about my sexuality or is that going to put them on the defensive?" I'd hate to join a band, invest time an energy into it, and then have someone make a joke about black people, or biracial people, or something else I care about.

Even though I don't worry about that stuff as an issue, but at the same time, I can understand how someone else might want to skip the issue. The gay/straight thing is really important to some people who are straight and gay, even if not a big deal to others.
 
#64
mcapote said:
I'm curious as to where you see openly gay men in the punk scene? been my experience you have a better chance of being a black man in a klan rally than an openly gay man in an Anti-Heros show. kinda off topic a bit but that caught me by suprise to see that atleast in the states Ive played in.
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You're right -- they're rare. I mostly see them in the few queer punk bands around here. The Gossip (not sure if everyone in the band is gay, but the lead singer is) from Olympia, for example. Again, MSI (who aren't from Seattle) attracts the queer crowd around here.
 
#66
Sherwood said:
It strikes me that there are quite a few straight men in this thread who take this for granted. You all mention how cosmopolitan you are and how you simply don't associate individuals with their sexual preference -- congratulations.

Do you think you might perhaps feel differently if every one of the people you met in the music scene were gay? If you were, by all accounts, the only representative of your sexual preference?

I appreciate that we, as musicians, tend to think of ourselves as open minded. It is not, however, very open minded to imply that a gay man was a bigot for wanting to find individuals who shared his viewpoint on the world.
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Thank you, Sherwood. I've been trying figure out how to articulate this.

That's exactly my experience. My problem really isn't that I'm a lonely gay man. I have many many friends, and I'm in a wonderfully fulfilling relationship with my boyfriend. I also have a great job. By all accounts, everything is really quite peachy in my life. :)

Again, I don't mean to sound complainy or wistful. It's tough to phrase my feelings without them coming out that way.

I started this thread simply because I haven't found much self-representation in my favorite music scenes. I don't know many queer musicians who are into the same music as I am. I definitely don't begrudge the straight musicians I've met, but it's hard not to notice that I've basically only met straight musicians, with a few exceptions. That's just the way the numbers work out.
 
#67
MakiSupaStar said:
You said that we're implying that he was a bigot. No one was implying anything of the sort, some of us are implying that maybe he's putting too much worth into his sexuality as part of his identity, especially as a musician. You said it 'like-minded souls'. It is of my opinion that the people around us are like minded because of many other things before our sexual orientation.

My gay friends are so much more than just gay.
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I've noticed that you guys are picking up the idea that i place a special emphasis on the sexuality of my friends. I've tried to address that in some of my posts this morning.

It's not that i place sexuality on a pedestal at all. It's just ben nice to find some music-makers that I can identifying with on all those levels. :)
 
#68
Alex it would be really cool if you could find some gay dudes that play and share your same musical interest. I think it would be a blast to be able to date or be partnered with someone who shares the same interest musicaly and share your time together jamming ! I think I would be into daiting a guitarist, it would be fun having guitar shop dates and going home together to jam. I better go out and find myself a inteligent,sweet,hot guitarist ! :cool: :bassist:
 
#69
MAJOR METAL said:
Alex it would be really cool if you could find some gay dudes that play and share your same musical interest. I think it would be a blast to be able to date or be partnered with someone who shares the same interest musicaly and share your time together jamming ! I think I would be into daiting a guitarist, it would be fun having guitar shop dates and going home together to jam. I better go out and find myself a inteligent,sweet,hot guitarist ! :cool: :bassist:
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Man, what a wet dream THAT would be! :D

My boyfriend and I have a really cool relationship regarding our creative skills. He's not a musician, but he's got terrific visual art and conceptual design abilities. Couple his visual with my aural and my recent foray into computer science, and we want to try to make a video game together. We're nerds.

I wish you great luck with finding your dream guitarist!
 
#71
MAJOR METAL said:
I am sure finding that guitarist is all a mater of fate for me. As of now its been a total "No Leaf Clover". :(
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It can be real rough being a homo who doesn't dig the current gay scene(s). If you aren't into fashion, clubbing, and interior decorating, you probably won't fit in, or enjoy the company of those in the gay scenes. At least, that's been my experience. I should probably give it another chance sometime, but it's best suited to "hooking up," which really isn't on my list of things to do these days.

I'm all for the adoption of "gay mannerisms" as a way to really own your identity, but it never really did anything for me. It's just not who I am. I'm too awkward and serious for that. :p Music has been the only thing that connects me with like-minded people. I havne't found a gay scene I liked, yet.
 
#72
celticafro said:
It can be real rough being a homo who doesn't dig the current gay scene(s). If you aren't into fashion, clubbing, and interior decorating, you probably won't fit in, or enjoy the company of those in the gay scenes. At least, that's been my experience. I should probably give it another chance sometime, but it's best suited to "hooking up," which really isn't on my list of things to do these days.

I'm all for the adoption of "gay mannerisms" as a way to really own your identity, but it never really did anything for me. It's just not who I am. I'm too awkward and serious for that. :p Music has been the only thing that connects me with like-minded people. I havne't found a gay scene I liked, yet.
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Yeah Dude I totaly broke that mold. Golden Girls is about as close to the stereo type as it gets for me. :D
 
#78
celticafro said:
I've noticed that you guys are picking up the idea that i place a special emphasis on the sexuality of my friends. I've tried to address that in some of my posts this morning.

It's not that i place sexuality on a pedestal at all. It's just ben nice to find some music-makers that I can identifying with on all those levels. :)
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Ok. I see where you're coming from now. Thanks for explaining. :)

Perhaps you're onto something. Maybe create a network or music foru
for gay musicians. It seems to be a sentiment shared by the other gay musicians here. (and if you make the gay talkbass, I'll take an honorary membership as the token straight guy that gave you the idea ;))

Anyway, it seems like you've kind of answered your own question. You gotta get out and play more. :bassist:
 

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