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Girlfriends or wives getting hit-on at gigs?

#181
pedro said:
LOL!! Good one bass player 48. I'm often surprised by how 'uptight' a group of so-called musicians can be about this sort of thing.
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:confused:

Why would you think that being a musician has any bearing on a person's moral values? Based on reading a lot of posts here, it seems clear that a pretty broad range of views is represented by TB'ers.

I think dismissing anyone as a "so-called musician" based on their values is disrespectful. Or does "a group of so-called musicians" mean everyone on TB? :eyebrow:
 
#182
pedro said:
That makes no sense at all. If she's accepted the drink than the guy may hang around anyway. I don't see how giving the drink away is going to change his perspective on it. Also, let me note that my original comment was made in response to a situation described above where the guy was told she was taken and still wanted to buy her drink. As described she accepts and then makes a big production of handing the drink to her her boyfriend.



That seems perfectly fair to me.



I got no beef with that.
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Didn't say it made sense. Just that it happens.

I know women who go out with no money, planning simply to get drinks out of guys, and that's all they want the guy for. Gross.

Cherie
 
#183
Ive been gigging in bars for over 20 yrs.My old lady comes to the majority of my gigs.I encourage her to get up and dance if she wants to.Whats cool about it is when some guy asks her to dance she leads him straight to the front of the dance floor,in front of me.I have never asked her to do this.But ,she says it makes her feel more comfortable with me being 8-10 ft. away from her.Ive had to CORRECT a drunk or two over the years.But,thats gonna happen on occasion,ITS A BAR!!!!And besides,she always points me out to the dude dancing with her(being 6-5",265 dont hurt either).She just makes sure to dance with guys that are respectful and has some manners.She hates drama.ONE PIECE OF ADVICE TO YOU GUYS THATS NEW TO GIGGING:LIKE WE SAY IN OUR BAND,"Leave your problems on the dancefloor,have fun!!"After all,aint that why we all play music?
 
#184
ColdSteelRain said:
:confused:

Why would you think that being a musician has any bearing on a person's moral values? Based on reading a lot of posts here, it seems clear that a pretty broad range of views is represented by TB'ers.

I think dismissing anyone as a "so-called musician" based on their values is disrespectful. Or does "a group of so-called musicians" mean everyone on TB? :eyebrow:
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I didn't mean to dismiss or offend anyone - my apologies if I did. But in general, musicians tend to have a reputation of being fairly liberal with respect to these sort of things and it tends to surprise me when they are not.
 
#185
Jake of Bass said:
I agree it may be rude, but you've got to consider that your way of doing things doesn't work for everyone. What if the last guy the girl refused a drink to happened to be those one in a thousand aggressive types who stalked her all night cause he got offended she refused and now is afraid to refuse anyone a drink, or you're the tenth guy to offer her a drink that night and the tenth guy she's told she's married and still hasn't listened so she has to make a spectacle of it to not only make the point to you but nine other guys who haven't gotten the message either? There are other reasons too if you care to think of it a little.
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Ayup.

I was once almost physically carried off by a guy because I gave him one dance. No drink involved, just a lousy dance. See, he thought I was his dolly for the night! Over one dance! When I tried to go back to my friends, he picked me up (I weighed 100 lbs soakin' wet at the time) and carried me out of the bar!!! He tried to put me in his truck!!! I fought as hard as I could. My girlfriends notified the bar as to what had happened, and my bassist boyfriend, his band, the bouncer, and two bartenders came to my aid. Safe to say I was clearly rescued. A good thing everyone in the bar knew me.

My boyfriend said I'd looked like a cat someone was trying to give a bath, when he saw me struggling with my stupid cowboy would-be abductor.

Things like that will make a girl real cautious.

Cherie
 
#187
My wife has attended a few of my gigs over the years. Generally, the type of music being played at those gigs was not overly 'danceable', so I can't recall seeing her dance with anyone. I have no problem with folks chatting her up, she can take care of herself. We both worked in the same bar for a few years at one point, her as a server and I as a doorman. I never had to interfere on her behalf due to a customer acting in an innaproporiate manner. We trust each other, so no problems in bar/band settings.
 
#189
downneck said:
or you could switch to SX basses. at $150 a pop, it's easy on the wallet when you break one over some idiot's head :bassist:
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+1

I've got a £40 starter bass that i'm gonna play for one song and then trash, just for the attention. but only at a very special, epic gig...

It's not even worth donating it to somebody (and i have considered it) because it's in such bad shape, and was an awful bass to learn on:P
 
#190
I'm lucky enough to be married to a MILF- yes I did just say that!!! :D
My wife IMO is smoking hot, and she does get hit on at gigs. But she's very sure to tell the "hitter" that "See that big guy playing bass with the tattoo's, that's my husband of 12 years, so, if you want to dance with me, he has to say it's Ok".
It usually ends there.

I really don't care to be honest. Like others have said, I've had to correct a few drunk guys, and even got in to it with a chump when he didn't get it after the 5th time my wife told him, she was with me and he still persisted.
The whole "here's my number, call me and we can talk, he'll never know" crap.
I walked up to him and gave him his number back.
Told him that was a bad idea (actually I was very respectful about it too), then he insulted my wife to my face..........I didn't like lying to the cops saying he swung first (neither did the rest of the band).
Bloody and in handcuffed in the back of a police car I bet made him think twice of doing that again.
Things like that only happened maybe two/three times in 20+ years of gigging.

But mostly, don't $hit where you eat.
i.e.- if you're the jealous type, leave the hot girlfriend at home on gig night.

And hey.....no pics, not hot GF.....


I just noticed the "buy the drink" posts.
My wife would NEVER accept a drink from anyone other than who she knows.
Me there or when she's out with the girls.
It's a creepy world out there and men are pretty much the reason!!!!
 
#191
txbasschik said:
Ayup.

I was once almost physically carried off by a guy because I gave him one dance. No drink involved, just a lousy dance. See, he thought I was his dolly for the night! Over one dance! When I tried to go back to my friends, he picked me up (I weighed 100 lbs soakin' wet at the time) and carried me out of the bar!!! He tried to put me in his truck!!! I fought as hard as I could. My girlfriends notified the bar as to what had happened, and my bassist boyfriend, his band, the bouncer, and two bartenders came to my aid. Safe to say I was clearly rescued. A good thing everyone in the bar knew me.

My boyfriend said I'd looked like a cat someone was trying to give a bath, when he saw me struggling with my stupid cowboy would-be abductor.

Things like that will make a girl real cautious.

Cherie
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I can certainly understand how such behavior would make you cautious. Which is why I think your approach of not accepting the drink to begin with is fine. What I still don't get is taking the drink and then giving it away.
 
#192
I guess one way to avoid all this mess and still bring your girlfriend to gigs is play avant-gard jazz.
I'm not sure if any hitting-on or dancing will ensue.
Basically because there will only be like 7 people there anyway, and 4 will be the band..........:hiding:
 
#193
pedro said:
I can certainly understand how such behavior would make you cautious. Which is why I think your approach of not accepting the drink to begin with is fine. What I still don't get is taking the drink and then giving it away.
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Its fear. Some guys will actually get just as stupid over a refused drink as that cowboy did over that dance. Seen it happen, to girls I was out with.

What can I say? It happens.

Cherie
 
#195
pedro said:
I just don't see how publicly humilating the guy by making a spectacle of giving the drink away is going to go over any better.
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A spectacle? Who made a spectacle? Did I miss something in someone's post? When one does such a thing, its to be done quietly. To make a show of it defeats the purpose in giving the drink away. I don't understand why someone would make a spectacle of it. I must have missed something in one of the stories in this thread.

Cherie
 
#196
txbasschik said:
A spectacle? Who made a spectacle? Did I miss something in someone's post? When one does such a thing, its to be done quietly. To make a show of it defeats the purpose in giving the drink away. I don't understand why someone would make a spectacle of it. I must have missed something in one of the stories in this thread.

Cherie
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Yes there was a previous post which was what I had responded to in which the lady accepted the drink and then went up to the stage (I'm paraphrasing here) and made a big deal about handing the drink to her boyfriend/husband. And that's what I don't get.

If the guy has been a jerk or rude than all bets are off. But my understanding was that the guy offered to buy the drink after being informed that she was spoken for and was treated to a public display of handing the drink to the husband/bf. At least that's how I understood the facts.
 
#198
MikeBass said:
I guess one way to avoid all this mess and still bring your girlfriend to gigs is play avant-gard jazz.
I'm not sure if any hitting-on or dancing will ensue.

Basically because there will only be like 7 people there anyway, and 4 will be the band..........:hiding:
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... LOL !! :D
i see what you did there .
 

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