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Girlfriends or wives getting hit-on at gigs?
- Thread starter FingerPulse
- Start date
You seem a lot nicer than a lot of guys in bars who buy ladies drinks Pedro. Do I have a problem with my girlfriend dancing with someone? Not at all! She should have fun too. Do I have a problem with someone neither of us know buying her a drink? Yes and so does she. You never know what weird guys are dropping what in peoples drinks. Rather safe than sorry. Continue to talk to her? By all means! Nothing wrong with a bloke being friendly.
The problem arises when the guys intentions aren't so pure. Before I was taken, I ended up flirting with a lot of girls who were taken, when I found out, I immediately stopped flirting and often ended up talking with her and her significant other.
I'm by no means a particularly tough guy, but I'm in pretty good shape. There are certain times when you can either be walked over or stand up for yourself and whoever you're with and I'll never be a walkover. If a guy is talking to my girlfriend, theres no way I'll make a scene. I trust her enough to know the guy already knows she's taken and usually, she'll introduce me to the guy. Most of the time, the guy is cool, often compliments my band and we all have a few drinks together. Occasionally the guy was still grasping some hope that he had a chance and slinked off when I was introduced (Or maybe he just didn't like me)
6jase5
Mammogram is down but I'm working manually
On this exact topic...a guy came up to my wife, asked to buy her a drink, she said she was married to the bass player. He laughingly remarked that musicians get all the girls, and offered to buy one any way, just in spirit. She wasn't drinking so he insisted and got her a diet coke, he asked her to dance (not grind) he gave me the "is it ok" gesture/look when they walked up and I didn't care so they joined everyone else and danced while we played. Afterwards he grabbed a few free cd's and tossed $20 in our cd bag for the hell of it when we didn't see it (another friend of ours saw him do it).
That's a respectable guy and I'll take a thousand of them at any show.
That's a respectable guy and I'll take a thousand of them at any show.
Out on the weekend and someone my mother knows was out with some other people she knows (my mum is a curator at a gallery and a part of a university, she knows a lot of people) and this dude kept getting sleazier the drunker he got. I finally had enough and mentioned it to my girlfriend, she said she knows that and also knows how to break someone's arm (used to do kick boxing) if necessary.
So we went to another place and she and another lady we'd been drinking with most of the night were there (this dude had been sleazing onto both of them) and lo and behold, there he was. So she mentioned something about if he keeps it up she'll hurt him. He laughed and kept it up, so she turned around, put his arm in the hold she showed me and did it quite a bit harder than she showed me (which still hurt when she did it to me - she's strong for her size, and I'm a bit of a weakling). He yelps and then says "you're a ****ing psycho" and leaves them both alone for the rest of the night. Fun times.
So we went to another place and she and another lady we'd been drinking with most of the night were there (this dude had been sleazing onto both of them) and lo and behold, there he was. So she mentioned something about if he keeps it up she'll hurt him. He laughed and kept it up, so she turned around, put his arm in the hold she showed me and did it quite a bit harder than she showed me (which still hurt when she did it to me - she's strong for her size, and I'm a bit of a weakling). He yelps and then says "you're a ****ing psycho" and leaves them both alone for the rest of the night. Fun times.
I wouldn't go that far. I think 'most' guys are ok. Its just that the jerks tend to stick out in your mind.
Most of the time drinks are brought over by waitress or bar tender but yea, I think one has to be careful.
I did the same thing when I was single.
I guess I've not run into a situation where my wife couldn't handle things and probably a lot better than I could.
i was sorta seeing this girl (actually until last night) and my band played a gig downtown a few weeks ago. this girl was a real real looker...like way out of my league at my age.
the second i hit the stage, every tom, dick and harry in the place came out of the woodwork and was trying to get with her, buy her drinks, etc. i think there was a line at one point. she took it stride, it think she knows she's hot. which is actually a bad trait.
crazier still, even girls (the kind who are into other girls) were also trying to take pictures next to her and basically everything the sauage party frat guys were doing too.
it was starting to get riduculous.
there was only so much marking of my territory i could do wihtout going into insecure mode.
it was throwing me off my game.
the second i hit the stage, every tom, dick and harry in the place came out of the woodwork and was trying to get with her, buy her drinks, etc. i think there was a line at one point. she took it stride, it think she knows she's hot. which is actually a bad trait.
crazier still, even girls (the kind who are into other girls) were also trying to take pictures next to her and basically everything the sauage party frat guys were doing too.
it was starting to get riduculous.
there was only so much marking of my territory i could do wihtout going into insecure mode.
it was throwing me off my game.
Careful on that one bro! Its not your "territory". Its down to her to let people know she's taken, you're there if they're harrassing her. If she won't tell them she's with you when you're there, what you gonna do when you're not about?
At least she's your ex. Now find a girl you can trust and do trust her. Its a whole lot easier.
no, i am pretty secure. people are going to do what they do. no one is really your possession or something, but if people are harrassing/bothering your date, and she (she is the key word) wants you to...step in.
the reason i was off my game that night was i was waiting/watching for the point where she needed some space away from the gang other suitors because it was starting too happen.
it's okay to have confidence or pride in appearance, but you do have to watch out for people that feed off of that attention too much, or are big flirts (i'm actually pretty guilty of this). because if you are the slightest annoyed or insecure with it..get ready for trouble because you are probably in the wrong releationship or need to have some boundaries set up.
territory... stuff
some girls do it all the time. go to the mall or bar with your girlfriend/wife. a good looking girl(s) walks within 50 ft. just watch, sometimes your girlfriend/wife starts holding your hand or gives you a peck on the cheek.
the reason i was off my game that night was i was waiting/watching for the point where she needed some space away from the gang other suitors because it was starting too happen.
it's okay to have confidence or pride in appearance, but you do have to watch out for people that feed off of that attention too much, or are big flirts (i'm actually pretty guilty of this). because if you are the slightest annoyed or insecure with it..get ready for trouble because you are probably in the wrong releationship or need to have some boundaries set up.
territory... stuff
some girls do it all the time. go to the mall or bar with your girlfriend/wife. a good looking girl(s) walks within 50 ft. just watch, sometimes your girlfriend/wife starts holding your hand or gives you a peck on the cheek.
I think you see the situation too aggressively. Rather than waiting for the point where you can leap in and be the hero, she's probably waiting for the moment where you can smoothly and confidently saunter up and gently but firmly lead her over to the other side of the room during a set break, or just hang at the bar and act like none of this is bothering you, making fun of the whole thing like it's a comedy routine or something. More like a cassanova than superman.
i do find it funny.
with all the clammering, i didn't have to buy her a drink.
i'll leave that to the room full of guys (and girls) who aren't going home with her.
is this economy, you take it where you get it.
thanks guys, buy her drinks! more money for bass stuff for me.
please, no one's waiting for me to save em or be thier casanova.
super hero? not me.. i'll leave the cape wearing to the members of Yes.
Although.. i do dig that Rick Wakeman look.
with all the clammering, i didn't have to buy her a drink.
i'll leave that to the room full of guys (and girls) who aren't going home with her.
is this economy, you take it where you get it.
thanks guys, buy her drinks! more money for bass stuff for me.
please, no one's waiting for me to save em or be thier casanova.
super hero? not me.. i'll leave the cape wearing to the members of Yes.
Although.. i do dig that Rick Wakeman look.
If that's the case then why were you "off your game" because of this girl then?
Maybe I'm weird but the few times this has happened it's actually made me play better. But I've always performed better under 'pressure', for want of a better word.
Marking your territory? There's a few things you've said here I don't understand, they almost contradict each other. You can't imply you're blase and then say it affected your ability to play music at the same time, that doesn't make sense to me.
Maybe I'm weird but the few times this has happened it's actually made me play better. But I've always performed better under 'pressure', for want of a better word.
Marking your territory? There's a few things you've said here I don't understand, they almost contradict each other. You can't imply you're blase and then say it affected your ability to play music at the same time, that doesn't make sense to me.
My girlfriend knows she can get frisky all she wants at the bar when I'm playing, but then she'll also have to walk home and the door to the appartment will be locked from the inside 
Seriously, not a problem since she knows how to handle such matters and I don't play too much gigs were we don't have friends in attendance. Friends who are big, bad dudes. It all comes to dating a girl who has a head on her shoulders. I've been with girls that were the to the wilder side of bubbly and flirty, and even then, it wasn't a problem. Maybe I'm such a stud that other guys can't compare.
Seriously, not a problem since she knows how to handle such matters and I don't play too much gigs were we don't have friends in attendance. Friends who are big, bad dudes. It all comes to dating a girl who has a head on her shoulders. I've been with girls that were the to the wilder side of bubbly and flirty, and even then, it wasn't a problem. Maybe I'm such a stud that other guys can't compare.
Says the guy with "Mike Myers lookalike" in his sig...
Jus' kidding.
I think if she's happy with the level of flirtality thats happening, then you can let her do her thing. And, you can expect the same of her when some girl starts hitting on you.
My wife doesn't come to my gigs. So, problem solved there.
She totally supports what I'm doing, but the scene just isn't her thing.
She totally supports what I'm doing, but the scene just isn't her thing.
My fiancee really doesn't get hot on at either my gigs or by brother's...it's not that she's not attractive, she just doesn't really try to stand out or anything. Our singer, though...that's a different story. 
