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Guitar Center Stage Fright!!!

We walk into a retail establishment, especially one as potentially uncomfortable as a GC, with our minds in full analytical mode, using our later-evolved frontal cortex, which is as it should be. We're parking a car, we're bantering, we're scoping it out, we're adding up pennies in our heads. We are pattern-recognizing and filtering.

Too bad the part that know how to play bass isn't in the cortex, but in the cerebellum, that lower, reptilian brain that houses our "muscle memory", songs, techniques, all the things you can normally do "without thinking about it".

It's hard to play bass while you are "thinking". And it is hard to get into the zone in a GC and let your hands do their thing. With a smaller "mom-and-pop" type music store, you often develop more of a relationship with the staff and the location, and can usually "relax" a bit more in a "familiar" environment. With a GC, there's always new staff, new stock, new noise.
 
Usually when I go to GC, I don't forget necessarily how to play the bass, I just forget every song I know except (oddly enough) YYZ. Which is fine by me, it's fun to play and a pretty impressive thing to bust out in front of an "audience" :)
 
Usually I just blank on what to play... and in desperation, I slap! *facepalm* In the end, I'll just noodle, and make stuff up - which ultimately has fate of me trying to concentrate on what to play rather than how the bass or amp I am testing out actually is.

Sometimes a bass or a tone will talk to me, and give me inspiration to remember a song that would be perfect for that bass.

I keep the volume low on the amp though - enough so I can hear it, but not the guys across the store. With the exception of when I went to try out cabinets. I brought my own bass, and was in a small enclosed room and cranked the amp up so I could see what the cab could do. No one was around, so I noodled, and was free to remember how to actually play. When I left the room, there were a couple guys standing outside the door. I suddenly felt like the guy that was busted stinking up the bathroom! hahaha
 
I was in a biggish place just last week, seemed to be run by kids in black tees, quite intimidating to an old fart like me. A black MIM Jazz jumped out at me so I had to have a noodle, the kids were very respectful bless em, I had about an hour faffing about, one of the black tees kept bringing me coffee which kept the tension down. Threw in a coupla riffs from songs I know, mainly just making it up, but in that 'sure I know what I'm doing' kinda way.

Bottom line, I now have a new fender...AND I knocked 40 Quid off the ticket price too!!
 
Guitar Center "stage fright?" Are you guys actually serious?? Nope... does not happen to me at all. I find what I want, plug in and start rifting... who gives a crap what anyone else is "thinking" about my "technique". How are you guys managing to play gigs for gosh sakes? relax fellas.. its just a music store, not an audition.
 
:help: Another one! Guitar Center is retail store, not a showcase for every wankin' teenager who thinks the world ought to hear his virtuosity. Take your show to an open mic night, a bar, the local cafe ... but fer cryin' out loud, NOT to Guitar Center.
 
Having worked in a guitar store, I can tell you that *no one* cares how well you play. If you shred like crazy, no one cares. If you suck, no one cares. All these guys care about is if you have money - - or you are a cute female. GC is not a stage unless you bring your buddies to "show off". I, for one, used to really get tired of players coming in and wanking on equipment they have no intention of buying. Like I give a damn if they can play the latest Metallica/Iron Maiden/GNR/EVH riffs... I just wanted them to try it out, buy it or SPLIT.
 
Although we don't have GC's here in the UK, at least no where I've been most guitar shops are pretty good at being respectful. I'm a known regular at my local guitar store and they invite me to play their newest basses, usually i'll play about with scales and runs then try some slap or tapping and harmonics then mix it all up. Nothing wanky just thoroughly and quietly testing each style of playing I can do to see how the bass fares against them. Usually if it's a nice bass it all happens naturally as I feel at home on it. Quite rare but nice when it happens. I know the whole stage fright thing happens but I usually have the bass low enough that I can hear it and it's tonal options and play whatever comes to mind or just jam around a certain scale. If it feels good and sounds nice I'll note down it's make and model in my head for further research and politely leave the shop thanking them for their willingness to let a penniless student play their gear :)
 
All this absolutely blows my theory!
I mean, everybody knows that you can hear a bass best when some one else plays it, right? And I play like crap anyhow. So when I'm in GC I hang around listening to the basses other guys are playing.
And now you tell me you don't know what you're doing?
Ahh. The irony.

Or was I just making you nervous?
 
One thing I learned a long time ago, as a young bassist hanging out at my friend/guitarist dad's music store (which always had some well seasoned guitarist, just plain ripping) ... don't play bass lines from songs ... just riff. Unless you're able to play some pretty complicated bass lines ... perfectly ... you're not going to impress anyone. In fact, folks who are familiar with those lines, are just gonna compare your ability to play them to the cats who are known for them. So unless you can play lines from Jaco, Victor, Stanley, Marcus, Flea, (enter favorite bassis here), just like them, and perfectly ... don't even bother.

I take that same line of thinking ... "no famous bass lines" ... into every music store I go into; especially GC (since it's always got some young guitard butchering some tune so loudly, you can't even think straight, much less think of any bass lines).

Generally I go in ... scope out the joint to see what may strike my fancy. Then grab my first pick, play some scales to get the feel of the bass ... then move onto some funk lines, all unplugged (since it's most likely going to be way out of tune, and in desperate need of a set-up, so it's not going to sound it's best anyway. Therefore neither will you). Then I move onto the next pick.

After my fingers are all warmed up ... I go for my "A" picks (you know, the basses that are placed just in barely reach ... the one's that some kid will be too afraid to grab, as they might drop it). These I'll actually plug in. Do a quick tuning. Then I usually first start off with some funk (no matter how good/bad you are ... if you can play funk, even easy lines ... nobody will be the wiser of your true abilities/inabilities). Then I play whatever pops into my head, or any currently praticing.
 
I just play Smoke on the Water, over and over and over and over and over.

If anyone gives you a look, just stare them in the eye and say, "uh oh! I think I just found the brown tone...." then leave (quickly).
 
Maybe it is because you guys are used to playing with others? I play solo guitar reguarly, so when I go into GC and play bass or guitar, I don't have any problem, because I play that way a ton.

I don't try to burn, but occassionally I will do what I did today. Went in to check on a couple of things, and found a cool tele. There was some guy playing some heavy stuff fast, really loud, ton of gain.

I crank up the Fender Tweed Deluxe and break out a very loud but clean chord melody of The Flintstones Theme. I then burned thru a single line chorus of it. Guy shut down after that. He peeked around the corner to see who was playing. Hehe :D
 
Geez, this thread is funny as hell. I am reading this and remembering close to 30 years ago when I took a girlfriend into the "really big time" music store down the street from where we went to high school together. It was like the 2nd time we ever went out...Ken Smith and Alembics were the hot ticket and were just coming out to the stores (around "school days" time frame) they wouldn't let me play one of those, and it was a little embarrassing, but they gave me a Rick & any Fender I wanted to try. I played the hell out of it in the store (I had a P and a J at home from that store) my girlfriend was blown away (and so later was I) and I think that was the only time I've ever had stage fright in one of those stores. I can't believe I am remembering this...what a blast. Now I just go in, turn up loud enough for me to hear what I am doing, and start playing through one of my set lists. If the bass doesn't knock me off my feet, I just hang it up & keep looking. I should have learned something, that girl 8 years later turned out to be my first ex-wife!
 
Isn't horrible?

You have the possibility to showcase your talent to a new audience, including the sales staff, who has never heard anybody play that well before...

Will it be... YYZ by Rush? Schism by Tool? I Want You Back by the Jackson 5 (I mean, now would be the time...)

Oh no, you can't, because you were hit by... Guitar Center Stage Fright!!!

And there you are, just barely moving your fingers on the neck, trying to act casual, as if you knew what you were doing (I need to REALLY test that E string, man).

Ah come on, at least scale us a major... there... it went great... it sounded almost good...

Am I the only one?

Oh and it would really help too if I knew any of those 3 songs above

Dude ... Do you really care what people in GC think about you? They are a bunch of posers and wannabes! They should be concerned about impressing you.

I was in a GC a few years ago in Canton MI. One of the managers is a very good bass player. He was in the bass room with some of his students and started showing off. I happened to have a bass plugged in so I kept up with him riff for riff. His students were quite distressed that I could play as well as he did. But I didn't care and he didn't care either. It really doesn't matter.