Help me craft my exit email

[gln1955]

If all these issues with the BLs haven't been resolved in five years, airing grievances now will no positive impact on anyone. They won't care what you say and they'll just put you deeper on their ****list.

 

[BluesWalker]

Be ready for them to quickly drop you if they have 6 weeks until the next gig.

 

[Marko 1]

I want something more than the typical "it's time for me to move on and I wish you the best of luck" message

There's a reason this is a classic. The temptation to say more is a waste, or worse.

As soon as they realize you're gone, they couldn't care less about your reason, your feelings, or especially where they may have been wrong.

"I want to spend more time with my family"

The famous politician excuse.

Just tell them how you feel. Don't be too insulting, but simply explain to them why you felt that way. Humans can only grow from criticism and if you leave with actual constructive criticism and you've been nice to be around, then they might just take what you have to say to heart. Just don't lie. And if you really can't take it, tell them you won't be playing for them anymore and block them...

I'm thinking... no.

 

[LBS-bass]

Jeez really? No wonder societies are hating on each other...To scared to face up and talk to another human being. Try it its nice.

Nobody's scared. Some things don't need to be done in person. Quitting a band when you don't really care much about whether they like you or not afterward is one of those things, at least for me, especially if it's a very long drive to do it in person, anyway.

There are so many scenarios where in-person is the least kind thing to do. Putting someone on the spot in front of others can lead people to do or say things in front of others they'll later regret. Why embarrass someone? Sheesh. It's ok and perhaps kinder to do many things in writing and give people a chance to come to grips with their reactions in private.

 

[bigjames]

Keep the 'move on' and keep it clean.
No need to pick a fight or burn bridges needlessly...
unless you really really feel that need.

And keep it short...the more you say, the more you invite 'questions' or comebacks.

Most sensible people know bands have a shelf life...and imv, 5 yrs is about it anyway

This. All of this. Keep it simple and to the point. Adding "reasons" opens the door to promises of change if you just give them a chance. If you are done and know you are done, keep it short and sweet. Don't pick fights or be mean...no reason for it and nothing gained except potentially regret later. Nothing wrong with putting yourself first and speaking up for what you need (or dont need) in your life.

 

[Marko 1]

Nobody's scared. Some things don't need to be done in person. Quitting a band when you don't really care much about whether they like you or not afterward is one of those things, at least for me, especially if it's a very long drive to do it in person, anyway.

There are so many scenarios where in-person is the least kind thing to do. Putting someone on the spot in front of others can lead people to do or say things in front of others they'll later regret. Why embarrass someone? Sheesh. It's ok and perhaps kinder to do many things in writing and give people a chance to come to grips with their reactions in private.

Agreed.

If I were a BL and someone wanted to quit, I think I'd prefer a text/email than in person.

Then I'm not required to instantly behave in some kinda way.

 

[QweziRider]

I want something more than the typical "it's time for me to move on and I wish you the best of luck" message.

That's about as clean and good as you can make it, right there. And since you stated earlier you're not interested in kicking them, just keep it like this, or something along similar lines others have expressed. I think you said it well enough right there.

I once left a band for a laundry list of frustrations. But kept it simple as you have it worded there. Because I didn't go off on the list, it's probably why I'm still friendly with several of them.

 

[Alan Wrench]

5.5 years with this band. Mostly good. Some really large venues. But I'm tired of the BS. My tolerance level is low for the nonsense eminating from the husband and wife who run the band. I have some inner anger and I won't go into the details. I simply want to finish the two large gigs that are in the next two weekends and to leave on a high note and with grace. I want something more than the typical "it's time for me to move on and I wish you the best of luck" message. Anyone want to assist me?

I would keep it simple, concise, and professional. The cathartic value of venting your spleen, is outweighed by the potential damage to your relationship with them, your relationship with others, and your reputation.

 

[Killing Floor]

 

[ELG60]

If you feel the need, you can present your grievances after the fact, next Festivus.

 

[Geddaric]

Be honest and up front.
Don’t be surprised if they replace you quickly and have your replacement play your last gigs either.
(Which happened to me).

 

[QORC]

Be honest and up front.
Don’t be surprised if they replace you quickly and have your replacement play your last gigs either.
(Which happened to me).

Well the next one is Saturday. Doubt that will happen

 

[QORC]

If the band leader thinks everything is just hunky dory this approach likely won’t work. It also sounds like there’s another bassist waiting in the wings.

Yes there has been a position stalker for a while. They will plug him in

 

[Pilgrim]

5.5 years with this band. Mostly good. Some really large venues. But I'm tired of the BS. My tolerance level is low for the nonsense eminating from the husband and wife who run the band. I have some inner anger and I won't go into the details. I simply want to finish the two large gigs that are in the next two weekends and to leave on a high note and with grace. I want something more than the typical "it's time for me to move on and I wish you the best of luck" message. Anyone want to assist me?

Yes. You already wrote it: "it's time for me to move on and I wish you the best of luck."

 

[monti2889]

Hell band,
It's been a great 5yrs, but I need to move on after the next few shows. I've had a blast playing with each of you, but I'm feeling more and more alienated from my goals and growth as a musician. That animosity is not fair to you guys, so I need to respectfully bow out and wish you all well in the future. I hope we can keep in touch.
Thank you
Or something like that

 

[ebo]

“You can’t fire me, I QUIT!”

 

[Confunk]

Well, there's THIS:

Watch Saturday Night Live Highlight: Total Bastard Airlines - NBC.com

OK...I'm leaving...

 

[ebo]

I quit a band once and thought there would be drama. I kept the email short and sweet. They’re response was even shorter, “ok, thanks. “ They didn’t grovel to save me, they didn’t ask my opinion on the workings of the band. No “ tell us what we can improve so we’ll be better for the next guy.” They didn’t want to glean pearls of wisdom from me on the way out. Imagine!

 

[QORC]

“You can’t fire me, I QUIT!”

its not that . I don't think I'm on the verge of being fired, no

 

[QORC]

I quit a band once and thought there would be drama. I kept the email short and sweet. They’re response was even shorter, “ok, thanks. “ They didn’t grovel to save me, they didn’t ask my opinion on the workings of the band. No “ tell us what we can improve so we’ll be better for the next guy.” They didn’t want to glean pearls of wisdom from me on the way out. Imagine!

i think this will be similar, except that the lead singer is a bit childish (and on her third marriage. definitely a bit emotional, controlling and high maintenance). she might take a parting shot at me. but it doesn't matter. I'm going to not fire back. I'm leaving this with grace and dignity.