How Did You End Up Where You Are?

[NullPorch]

I'm curious to see how most people have ended up living where they do. If it's entirely by their own choice or if it has been entirely dictated by external factors or to what extent it can be a combination.

My wife and I are getting ready to move for the first time after school meaning we're making our first actual choice of where we live. For context, we're both from the same few rural towns in Northern Indiana then came to Purdue in Central Indiana for college. For a long time we talked about me going to post-graduate over in Europe and potentially immigrating entirely out of wanting to try that. Then I decided to take some time off between undergrad and post-grad and we decided it'd be way easier and better then to stay in the states. So we looked coast to coast and started thinking we wanted to try to live on the West Coast to still get out of the Midwest for a while. In general we always liked the idea of living somewhere we aren't from and in a culture that isn't ours for the experience of it. We even decided on Tacoma and everything seemed to be lining up perfectly for that to work with her having a job fair during our spring break we would be able to go to for her to look for a school to teach at.

Then Coronavirus ruined all that more or less. Washington was one of the first hard-hit states, the job fair was cancelled, and long-distance travelling, especially flying, seems ill-advisable for the foreseeable future. So now she's looking at job openings in Michigan (this was the one thing Washington was always bad for: Literally no schools had posted any job openings) and we're looking at houses for rent and whatnot. I'm actually honestly thrilled; Michigan would've been my top pick for a Midwestern state to move to if we weren't leaving the area. In retrospect I'm also not sure how thrilled I would have been to move across the country to still ultimately be in the country. I was thrilled by the prospect of moving out of the country, and still am if it'd ever be possible, but though I know different regions can be very different I also know that it won't be the same as our experience somewhere which doesn't speak English.


So what are your stories for how you've ended up where you are?

 

[rufus.K]

We got bored.
Drove south till we hit water.
Stayed a bit.
Drive west till we hit water.
Still here, till the kids are grown.

 

[Nashrakh]

Family. In my case, caring for parents and grandparents. I commute to work right now but would have moved closer otherwise.

 

[Stewie26]

Born and raised here. Never wanted to live anywhere else. There are so many things one can do here plus a nice climate.

 

[TerenceE]

Born and raised on the shores of lake
Superior! Winter sucks but gives me
A chance to play bass
More!

 

[Nedmundo]

Mix of work and choice. I graduated from law school during the recession in 1992, so it was relatively difficult to find employment. I applied for jobs in multiple cities, but I was in Philly so that was the easiest place to land interviews and jobs. I was fine with that because I wanted to stay here anyway.

 

[StyleOverShow]

Retired, divorced (at 65), gave up my (native) LA status in dissolution, moved to Oregon where my mom lives. Thinking about moving to Seattle this fall. Less sunshine but a bigger city with POC on the streets.

 

[Michedelic]

You can’t get there from here.

 

[MJ5150]

Washington State is full. It's good that it worked out that you didn't move here.
You're better off in Portland @StyleOverShow.

-Mike

 

[DWBass]

Born and raised in NY. Hit a brick wall at the job. The wife and I had discussed possibly moving to VA at some point. I resigned from my job and told wifey, I'm heading to VA. We made the move. Hasn't been too bad a transition. I'm gigging more than I ever did in NY and that was a LOT.

 

[WI Short Scaler]

Born and raised in this general area, with the exception of a brief time when I was a kid and we lived in Minnesota I've been within 1 hr of where we are now.

Moved to where we are now because of a job.

 

[eastcoasteddie]

I blame my wife...

I was born in Brooklyn, worked for one of the “Big Three” HVAC manufacturers for 12 years in NYC, and was on a good path up the ladder.

My wife was struggling to find herself in the grand scheme of the world; her first bachelors was in Human Resources and I/O Psychology. Couldn’t find work so she got a job as a paralegal while going back and getting a 2nd bachelors in Finance and Economics. She got an internship at Moody’s Investors Service (a really great experience), then got a job at Smith Barney - absolutely hated it. While at the paralegal job, she went to school and got a Certificate in Law and Paralegal studies.
She then got a job at a huge firm in Manhattan as a paralegal under a 2-year contract. Worked a ton of OT and saved a good chunk on money. Together with my salary, we lived quite well.
She wasn’t going to stay a Paralegal for the rest of her life - no one really does. That job is reserved as a stepping stone to someplace else. The Law, for her, was always easy...like “common sense” in her words. While getting her BBA, she got straight 100’s on all exams, pissing the rest of the class off because there couldn’t be a “grading curve” because of her 100’s.
She took a practice LSAT and got somewhere around a 168 or 170, which is pretty good without actually studying for it. I told her she should go to law school.
But she didn’t want to work those crazy hours and always wanted to travel (she actually has an Associates in Travel and Tourism).
She found the world of International Relations and got her MA in International Politics/International Business from NYU in 2010. There isn’t much in the way of IP/IR in NYC save for the UN (which you cant get into unless you “know somebody”), Council on Foreign Relations, and the Eurasia Group.
So we decided to hit DC, since I can pretty much get a job anywhere in the country.

We got here to the DMV in late 2011, I got a job at a private company with ties to the same manufacturer I worked for in NY, but it was still a huge culture shock. Different business practices, and a lot less paid time off. I actually can’t believe how much less if I really think about it. But a lot more freedom to perform my responsibilities my own way.

The wife has still been struggling to find steady work. The IR world, as we have found, as great deal to do with who you know and not how much you know. She has worked with people at different points in time, that have much less knowledge and education than she does, yet have gravy positions because of who they know/are married to/have personal relations with. And they are all back-stabbing throat-cutters. Worse than the Lawyers in NYC.

Times have been tough, we’ve been in the same tiny apt for 8 years, housing prices have gone up over that time, and especially since Amazon is opening HQ2 here sometime next year. We have become estranged with the rest of my family for a multitude of reasons over these years as well, so we are basically on our own here - no friends or family to lean on. She only has her mom who returned to Poland last year.

In the mean time my wife has learned the Russian language and is in the middle of getting a 2nd Masters in Eurasian, East European, and Russian Studies from Georgetown University, with plans to finish in Spring 2021. Hopefully then, we can get out of limbo...
Hopefully things might turn around in 2021...

 

[filmtex]

Born and raised in El Lay, went to Texas on a dare while I was in the service, loved it. Met my future wife, who had roots in Texas, got married and had kids. When the gangs invaded the Inland Empire in the late 90's we moved the family to a nicer neighborhood, 1350 miles away. Twenty years later we moved to the Hill Country after the kids moved out, been there ever since. Primarily because, as has been stated, "you can't get here from there!"

(Currently spending a few weeks, now months, in Honolulu with our son before he PCS's West a thousand miles or so.)

 

[GregC]

A mix of work and choice, but mostly work. My previous job in my native Florida ended when the publication went belly up. The company I work for now is based in Chicago, a place I'd never been, but the job was obviously the best fit for me. So I flirted with another company or two and freelanced, but I was really waiting for this. Once they had an opening, I got in and made the big move away from family and friends. The ride hasn't always been smooth, but it's been a great experience. And along the way I managed to trick an incredible woman into moving here and marrying me.

We've both loved our time in Chicago for the most part, but she would ultimately prefer to live in a smaller city, and the winters have worn on me. I had actually been thinking for a while about seeking a telecommuting arrangement (there are a few in my department out of 50 or so people) and moving closer to family when the virus hit. I guess it remains to be seen whether the current working-from-home deal winds up enhancing or diminishing my chances of telecommuting permanently.

 

[bholder]

I started coding on a whim, tried it and liked it. 40+ years later, I'm still at it. It had treated me very well.

 

[Stewie26]

A mix of work and choice, but mostly work. My previous job in my native Florida ended when the publication went belly up. The company I work for now is based in Chicago, a place I'd never been, but the job was obviously the best fit for me. So I flirted with another company or two and freelanced, but I was really waiting for this. Once they had an opening, I got in and made the big move away from family and friends. The ride hasn't always been smooth, but it's been a great experience. And along the way I managed to trick an incredible woman into moving here and marrying me.

We've both loved our time in Chicago for the most part, but she would ultimately prefer to live in a smaller city, and the winters have worn on me. I had actually been thinking for a while about seeking a telecommuting arrangement (there are a few in my department out of 50 or so people) and moving closer to family when the virus hit. I guess it remains to be seen whether the current working-from-home deal winds up enhancing or diminishing my chances of telecommuting permanently.

Wow, from sunny FL to Chicago. Not sure if I could handle that. Hope the telecommuting works out for you in the future.

 

[Gorn]

My parents moved to this country in the late 70s. I was born a few years later and moved out when I was 23. Been at my apartment for 14 years now.

 

[fdeck]

My spouse and I moved to Texas after grad school, and worked for a small family-owned company. It was kind of our only decent opportunity during a very weak job market. The company we worked for was fine. But we weren't happy in Texas -- the climate, distance from family, and no real social network to tap into. Raising kids in our region of the state didn't seem workable for us. And though it was a good company, an ambitious person at a family owned company will sometimes start to feel a bit restless.

So we agreed to keep our eyes out. My spouse got a research job at the University of Wisconsin, and the market was beginning to improve, to the point where I didn't feel nervous about quitting a job without having another job lined up.

So we packed up and moved northward. We both grew up in the Midwest, our families are still there, we like the climate (yay, winter), and have learned that Madison is just a great place to live. I took a 1 semester teaching gig at the university, then got kind of a dream job at a company that makes instruments (scientifical, not musical), where I still work today. We now have 2 kids, so we're pretty well dug in here. I have to be honest, I'm not sure how many places in the US I'd actually want to live. I'm spoiled by the amenities of Madison.

 

[knumbskull]

I moved here because it’s cheap and i can still get into the city for work.

 

[Gaolee]

I grew up in rural Ohio with a heavy dose of time in the hills of western North Carolina. Went to college on the east coast, and after graduating in 1982, discovered that Ohio was the rust belt and that recessions suck. So I moved to NYC, figuring somebody would hire me eventually, and drove a cab there in the mean time. Somebody hired me, and I met my wife. She's from London, which makes us highly unlikely. Only in New York. After five years or so, we decided that we wanted to raise a family, and NYC was not the place to do it. We decided that we were going to move to LA or Seattle, at least for a while. We moved to Seattle more than 30 years ago and have been here ever since.

We are the people who started ruining this place by moving here. It is ruined completely now. Go away. Really. It's true. We are all boring and it rains all the time. Actually, the reason not to move here now is because it has become insanely expensive. Chances are we would live somewhere else if we were leaving NYC now.


The kid lives in LA now. He and his girlfriend have been talking about moving here. She's from Las Vegas and is fascinated by things like plants. That just grow and you don't have to water them all the time. Who knew?