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If Bar Bands Had Riders...
- Thread starter walterw
- Start date
Venue to keep all lights down while band is loading out at the end of the night. Said band will resort to cell phones and flashlights if additional light be needed.
Optionally, the sound man can phone in and talk the dishwasher through the process of setting up microphones and mixes.
Like someone said, we're probably all playing the same bar, althougth separed by huge geographic distances. My contribution (based, like most here, on a true story):
The bar most insure that 110v and 220v outlets are mixed and not marked in any way and also forbid anyone that knows these fact to actually tell the band, who is obviously setting the stage by themselves with no help whatsoever
The bar most insure that 110v and 220v outlets are mixed and not marked in any way and also forbid anyone that knows these fact to actually tell the band, who is obviously setting the stage by themselves with no help whatsoever
Amen to that brother!
Drummer will also complain about lugging said crap around in their 1992 Honda Civic and ask you to put a rack of woodblocks and wind chimes in your trunk until next week.
The Venue's Facebook marketing should include one (1) 5 year old band photo, with no less than 1 former member featured; OR Venue should post a promotional photo of a different band with similar racial make up as scheduled band in all marketing.
Add gasoline to that fine mix of odors. We had a patron who had such a mixture of bad smells that I dubbed him "Stinky Wizzleteeth".
Here are some more things that should be added to the rider.
Make sure that the jukebox or in house sound system is turned on right before or during band sound check.
Make sure that the jukebox or in house sound system is turned on 4 times louder than the band was told to be all night with the most foul, crappy rap tunes while packing up.
Insist that patrons all congregate in the narrow walkway from the stage to the band vehicles during load in and load out and not move out of the way.
Do not let any band member or equipment set up in front of the tiny corner stage that is only big enough for a 3 piece drum kit and require all band members to squeeze onto said stage.
Cancel all bands for remainder of the year and don't call any of them and hope they have telepathic powers to know they are cancelled before driving 1-1/2 hours each way to venue.
Have at least one or two staggering drunk patrons who offer to help you move your expensive gear.
Have pool tables and tables and chairs in the area where band is supposed to play and don't move them before band shows up; thus, requiring bands members to be pool table and furniture movers. BONUS: Only have small female workers who tell you they are not strong enough to move such things and the band will have to move them if they want to set up.
Have tables and chairs with diners in area where band is to set up and make sure that patrons are served their food and drinks when the band shows up for set up and make the band wait an hour until patrons are finished eating and chatting. Add to this, yell at the band because they did not start on time due to said inability to load in and set up.
Upon arrival, club owner or manager informs band that they either forgot or never pay for advertising and put a hand drawn sheet of paper on the bulletin board or restroom doors inside the venue the "day of the show", which is only good if somebody is already physically inside the venue to see it.
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Definetely played this place with the jukebox rap- Small northern town club- with a pun for a name- in north Georgia mountains- famous for apples and apple pies---- and rap-loving country girls!!
It is absolutely imperative that band provide bar with no fewer than fifty (50) full-color posters a minimum of two months before the date of the agreed upon performance. Under no circumstances with the bar actually put them up.
Been there. We played a tribute show at a biker bar. They had a bike run that ended with a cookout at the bar after the ride. The bar had tables setup for people to eat where the band was supposed to play. We couldn't load in until they moved all of the tables which was about 10 minutes before we were supposed to play. We were rushing around trying to set up and the crowd was getting angry that we didn't start on time. They were yelling "Hey, how about that band" and "This band is pretty good" as they gave us dirty looks while we getting our gear set up. We finally rushed into the first song without any sound check just to shut them up and sounded like crap until the sound guy got everything mixed properly.
Any mains extension lead supplied by the bar to have:—
1) Live & Neutral cross-wired,
2) Cable spliced & made safe with insulating tape,
3) The fuse replaced with a matchstick wrapped in tinfoil,
4) At least one socket to be gunked up with something sticky that **could** be blackcurrant,
5) At least one socket to have visible scorch marks (minimum), or to have melted (ideal),
1) Live & Neutral cross-wired,
2) Cable spliced & made safe with insulating tape,
3) The fuse replaced with a matchstick wrapped in tinfoil,
4) At least one socket to be gunked up with something sticky that **could** be blackcurrant,
5) At least one socket to have visible scorch marks (minimum), or to have melted (ideal),
This ^ is critical in the rider.
So many places, so few with spaces. Played many places liked this, but one bar it was so bad I had to turn my DB sideways and lean/fall over against the jukebox to let people through to the loo. Then again as they returned to their seats, of course.
So many other bits that need QFT, but these ^ for sure, and in particular F&B served to the very tables that need to be removed from the "stage" area...
- In addition to the not paying the agreed upon price, rather a lesser amount, Bar/Venue shall stall payment for up to SIX MONTHS, yet consistently hire the band for the yearly "occasion".
- The "PA" will consist of a DJ dual-CD turntable set up with one (1) mic socket (1/4", NOT XLR), wired to the "house speakers" (cheap car stereo speakers throughout)
- If Backline is provided, bar will have "sent the defective bass amp in for repair recently"; The following year, the staff will maintain the same story for the same crapped-out amp as last year. (See "Payment Stalled for Six Months above.)
- "House music" must be turned off, if at all, only after a minimum of three band songs into the set list - longer/more is preferred; at least one house speaker must be directly above the band and aimed directly at band members' ears.
- Should a proper PA be provided, the speakers on stands must obscure at least two members of the band from the viewpoint of the audience at all times, despite better locations both sonically and visually for said speakers. Monitors must work only when the main speakers are not working and vice versa.
*** - Sports will take priority over band performance, ANY sport at ANY time, and will be shown on the big screen directly behind the band's "stage" (Band Members MUST NOT block patrons' view of the big screen). This shall hold true whether or not the venue/establishment is classified as a "Sports Bar".
Friends of mine in a Celtic rock/Ska band(in the neighborhood of Flogging Molly/Dropkick Murpheys)would play an Irish pub-themed place on the beach in San Diego nestled in with other meat market bars; even though they went over well there and had a following, they had to end their sets at midnight, when a house DJ would take over at excruciating volumes in order to keep the crowd, and to entice the drunks stumbling down the street who otherwise could care less about any band's music to come in, no cover. The band was not allowed to break down and off-load their gear, or even be on the stage, as it would supposedly distract the dancers, and because the back/load-out door went to an alley that bordered apartments, and there had been noise complaints when said door was open. So, after driving 2 hours to get there, playing for three hours, they had to stand around and wait for closing time(2am), AND drive another 2 hours home. Unbelievable. They have since given this place up.
