If Chuck Norris played bass...

[WackoStu]

Chuck Norris is the reason Jaco's bass was destroyed. Chuck dosen't like Fusion Jazz.

 

[Plays_For_Dog]

Chuck would play "air bass" and sound good.

 

[chuck norriss]

what do you mean? i do play bass--gretsch g5123b, fender jb special fretless, & jay turser 401

 

[MatticusMania]

Chuck would play an unlined fretless. Outside on a moonless night. Well.

Pfft, even I can do that.


I once saw a guy play "bass" with an acoustic guitarist. He was using a balloon inflated to 80% capacity with an acoustic pickup taped to the side.

I imagine Chuck Norris would do something similar, only with a weather balloon or a hot air balloon.

 

[MatticusMania]

what do you mean? i do play bass--gretsch g5123b, fender jb special fretless, & jay turser 401

Yours is spelt wrong.

Chuck Norris was actually a member of TB for one day, until he was perma-banned by John Turner.
I can say that I am lucky to have witnessed this event and survived to tell you the tale.

 

[TolerancEJ]

I love these! These are my favorites so far!

Chuck Norris would string four bridge cables across the side of a barn and play it by roundhouse kicking them!

Chuck Norris plays a two-string bass called "left leg, right leg" and it's amplified through your face....

Chuck Norris IS the best bass for Metal!!!

He would take a fully grown tree, cut it down with his beard, string 17 snakes across it and use the few branches intact as tuning pegs.

Chuck Norris only needs 1 string.

 

[icks]

Chuck Norris plays bass notes when scratching the hairs of his beard....

 

[MattyH]

When it thunder and lightenings, Chuck Norris is tuning his bass.

 

[Red Rover]

Chuck Norris would punch you in the throat and play YOUR bass.

 

[MattyH]

Chuck Norris would punch you in the throat and play YOUR bass.

He just did. ::Cough::

 

[Nev375]

What bass does Chuck Norris play?

Any bass he wants to.

 

[TolerancEJ]

I can guarantee you this has never happened. If Chuck Norris decided to play bass, his notes would be so ultra-low (and I'm talking about millions of times lower than our TB SubContra pro resident Jauqo III-X)... the sound waves would shatter the Earth, our surrounding planets, and extinguish the sun.

Oh, and don't worry about the fate of Chuck if this happened. He would then gather what's left of the solar system, divide it into 3 lots. He would squeeze and compress some matter into a new sun, a planet, and one moon. He'd set the sun ablaze by stroking it with his beard. He'd breathe life into his new planet and begin to populate it with beings all possessing Chuck's abilities. Even Chuck's moon would support life.

 

[martyman5000]

It wouldn't matter, it would be broken to fast.

TOO FAST...

 

[OneMoreRobot]

He'd play a bass made out of old memes from the mid-2000s.

Thank you. Chuck Norris jokes aren't funny.

 

[bigntasty]

He'd play a triple-neck 4 / 4 / 5, because he could, and he'd rock it.

 

[Red Rover]

Thank you. Chuck Norris jokes aren't funny.

Sounds like somebody got punched by Chuck Norris.

 

[Russell L]

Chuck Norris would play a Hello Kitty bass, only no one could laugh.

 

[john turner]

and yet i banned him

.

 

[chokeslam512]

This is a video of Chuck Norris' bass and what happened when he played it for the first time:

Invalid Link Removed

 

[BassClefJean]

He'd play a bass made out of old memes from the mid-2000s.

That's right, he'd travel through time to 2525 AD to collect them. Then come back and ax kick to death the first guy to use the term "meme"