If Chuck Norris played bass...

[parsons]

He would play the new EBMM "Big Chuck" which in addition to 4 band eq has an M-60 belt-fed machine gun mounted in the neck. The incredible array of switches include bass, treble, upper and lower mid, single fire or full auto, and pickup selection. Hard shell case includes truss rod wrench and 5 spare 100 round belts.

^ this is awesome.

A lot of win in this thread so far.

 

[pie_man_25]

Chuck Norris would play the best bass for metal.... in a country band.

 

[MOTORHEADBANGER]

Chuck Norris would play the best bass for metal.... in a country band.

Chuck Norris IS the best bass for Metal!!!

 

[bassteve]

He would take a fully grown tree, cut it down with his beard, string 17 snakes across it and use the few branches intact as tuning pegs.

 

[thedude77md]

He'd play a bass made out of old memes from the mid-2000s.

+100000000

 

[T40Chump]

With no bass being worthy, he would simply braid his beard hairs together and tie them off at his toes and be his own bass.

No tuning required, perfect intonation, and yes, absolutely perfect tone for any situation.

 

[gjbassist]

Chuck Norris can make any one bass sound like a Precision, Jazz and a Stingray.

Chuck Norris would never play a passive bass. He is far too aggressive for that!

 

[pin_head_47]

Some people claim that their basses play themselves.

Chuck Norris' basses actually do... out of fear of Chuck Norris.

 

[ZH_Driver]

He would play a Kick'n-whacker…

 

[Nino Valenti]

A Valenti bass, cause if he didn't I'd kick his @$$!!!

 

[Nino Valenti]

Chuck Norris plays a two-string bass called "left leg, right leg" and it's amplified through your face....

HAHAHA. I almost peed my pants!!!!

 

[Mulebagger]

Chuck norris can generate 2 Hz with earbuds

 

[mellohawk]

He would definitely play a Fender P facsimile. But... instead of flat or round-wound strings, he would use barbed wire and his action set up so high that only he could play it. And... it would be made of the trees he himself ripped from the ground by the roots. There would also be razor blades installed on the back of the neck to prohibit anyone else from playing it without bleeding to death.

 

[Renaissance]

Chuck would just walk into the room and everyone else would start playing bass.

 

[poorbassist15]

a Rick

 

[vanessamonster]

He would grab Lemmy's Rick and beat him with it.

 

[knigel]

Chuck Norris would play a Tokai Hard Puncher!

Link Removed

I just skimmed, did anyone suggest this already?

 

[pnut166]

Why does he have to play ? He just keeps Geddy in his pocket, and pulls him out when necessary.

 

[groooooove]

Chuck Norris would play the best bass for metal....

this is what i thought immediately after reading the thread title.

 

[TheSuzie]

Chuck Norris would play the Total Bass while sitting next to a swimming pool on a late night TV. His strings would never dare break.