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I'll Bet You Can't Top This

#42
I can't top any of these stories, but ***, here's the best one I can think of...

Maybe late 70s I was playing in a bar in Manhatten. Our lead singer just had throat surgery so we hired a guy we knew from high school who'd even sang in clubs.

Halfway through our last set, the fill in singer was trashed and leaning down to a girl on the dance floor, looks at me and says...on mic...Hey Bob, do you want a blow job! I just looked the other way and kept playing, then I felt my pants go down and the girl he was talking to was trying to blow me while I was playing.

I escaped
 
#43
jamesholley said:
This is a gig story you won't forget, and every word is true so help me God. Back in 79 I was working in a trio at a little bar in a shopping center in Fresno. One Friday night we were playing and I couldn't help but notice a couple sitting at the bar. They were drunk and making out as if no one was around. The bar tender kept telling them to knock it off. Finally she threw em' out. About 15 minutes later we took a break and I went outside with a friend to have a cigarette. The parking lot was lit up like a football stadium. Right in front of us, in the bed of an El Camino, backed into a parking stall, 3 steps from the front door, was that same couple gettin' it on!! There was no way you could miss it!. A few more people came outside for a breath of fresh air. They saw what was happening, and went back inside to tell everybody there was a "show" in the parking lot! The entire crowd came out and began laughing and cheering as lover boy kept grinding away! That's when the lady bartender, who had thrown them out originally, came outside to see what was going on. She ran back inside, and came back with a big bucket of ice water and threw it on them!! Everybody cheered as the lovers got up and tried to put their cloths on. The girl was crying and the guy was laughing as they claimed out of the back of the el Camino. Then they staggered across the parking lot, and got into ANOTHER CAR AND DROVE AWAY! It wasn't their El Camino! That's a true story so help me God.
Click to expand...

I can top it.

I WAS THAT GUY!!!!!
 
#45
Bob-I said:
I can't top any of these stories, but ***, here's the best one I can think of...

Maybe late 70s I was playing in a bar in Manhatten. Our lead singer just had throat surgery so we hired a guy we knew from high school who'd even sang in clubs.

Halfway through our last set, the fill in singer was trashed and leaning down to a girl on the dance floor, looks at me and says...on mic...Hey Bob, do you want a blow job! I just looked the other way and kept playing, then I felt my pants go down and the girl he was talking to was trying to blow me while I was playing.

I escaped
Click to expand...
It's impolite to resist!
 
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#47
Panama City FL 1974. I'm not in the band but on a break I go into the WC and there is the lead singer sitting/leaning on a sink while some "band-aid" is on her knees on a floor covered in about an inch of backed up assorted nastyness out of the crapper. She's pretty busy, but not to busy to keep golden boy's pants up out of the stuff on the floor.

Again, not at the job. About 4AM sunday at a waffle house getting some grub after a saturday night entertaining at the local knife and gun club. In walks a couple so drunk it was all they could do to get in a booth without falling down. The drunk couple are very in to each other and start smooching across the table. My food comes and I turn my attention to my eggs and grits. I look up and the girl is gone. Then I see her feet sticking out from under the table and her man is slumped back with his eyes rolled back in his head. Watress calls the law and when they try to drag sweetie out from under the table she fights like a wildcat. Boyfriend can't stand to see her in such distres so he decides to help. He stands up but forgets his pants are down and falls face first out into the floor when he tries to step to the closest cop. By now there are 3 cars out front and 6 cops inside. Both the drunks are cuffed on the floor but the cops are laughing so hard they have to take a minute to compose themselves before they drag the lovers out, the guy still with his pants around his ankles.
 
#48
In 2002, the band I was in at the time played at a pretty big bike rally in the midwest(Hogrock). It was the largest crowd we'd played to up to that point, so we videotaped the show from the back of the stage to capture us and the crowd. At the front of the stage at each corner they had set up go-go style cages for who ever wanted to "dance". In the cage nearest me about halfway through the show a couple took advantage of the cage to have sex in front of everyone. It was kinda like a car wreck, where you don't wanna look ,but can't help it..lol. Anyway later on reviewing our concert footage it turns out the video camera caught the whole "lovemaking" session.
 
#50
drummer5359 said:
I wrote out a story from my youth and thought better of it...
Click to expand...

Discretion being the bettor part of valor, of course...

I remember one that began with a single rose in a bud vase sitting on top of my amp when I showed up for the second night of a bar gig, and ended during first break with an audience of voyeurs. I was young, weak, and too easily misled... :)
 
#51
Lots of stories about love and lovemaking....let me give you a story about hate and abuse. In my early bass years me and the boys were out between sets in our black chevy van partaking in what early 80s bands partake in back then. It was colder I remember and we were satisfactorily lit up and ready to walk in to the gig for the 3rd set of 4. Walking back to the front door there is this guy over this young lady, laying on the gravel and he's throwing gravel and stones at her face. My chivalry side came upon me and I walked up and asked him what the hell he was doing and you better stop it. He asked who was going to stop him, and I said, "we would", my mates behind me. Well he walked away quickly, and of coarse, SHE WENT RUNNING AFTER HIM BEGGING HIM NOT TO LEAVE!!!!!!. He brought back three more guys, they looked us over and thought better of it, but to this day, my chivalry has taken a back seat. I have learned my lesson and tend not to interfere in a lovers spat.
 
#52
I was working stage Security at a club where a well known local and national metal band were playing a show. This band always sold out and after the show would break out trance/ house music blaring thru the house PA.

This was a well known event for the guys at the show, for any girls there were invited onstage to dance topless with electrical tape pasties. My team and I had the horrible job of placing the electrical tape "pasties" to their bare "nipple area." :smug: The majority of these girls were quite attractive and some danced for a living if you know what I mean. They looked forward to this part of the show.

BTW, Sweat and electrical tape do not mix..so we had to re-apply often. :thumbsup:

So the girls were really giving the guys a show to the loud thumping trace music, most are in G strings and some are "getting Friendly" really working the guys packed at the front of the stage.

I noticed there were two "Friendly girls" by me onstage. I turned to look across the stage watching for "tape slippage" and enjoying the show. When I turned around they were gone. I soon found them behind a speaker having a really good time on the floor very X rated.
I unfortunately had to break them up causing a course of boo's to be called out to me.

Man I used to love that job.
 
#53
Can't really top the OP's story, but had a few odd things happen in my time:

It was the late 80's, I was not playing, but a friends band was at a punk house show in this old, what should have been condemned house. About 150 or so punks in the living room/parlor of the house moshing while the band played. I had noticed that the floor was more "rubbery" feeling than it should have been under the weight of the crowd and band equipment. So, about 3/4 of the way through the set, the floor caves into the basement. All of the bands gear - with them playing - and about 25-30 people fall into the basement of the house. And of course, after it was founf out that no one had died, the rubble was sort of cleared, and the band set up in and around the now "2 story" gig space and finished the set.

A couple of weeks later, the whole row of houses burned down in a massive fire that was most likely set by clandestine drug manufacturing, or a squatters fire getting out of control
 
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#54
In the 70's, played in a bar in a VERY small town near here. Mostly French speaking population in the town, and the bar had a pretty lenient view on marijuana - people were openly rolling at their tables. Around midnight, two guys get into a fight over a girl. The one guy is much shorter, and even though he got in a couple of kicks with his work boots, he was soon knocked down, and shame-facedly left the bar. At the end of our next set, we went outside to get some cleaner air, and there was a crowd around a vehicle in the parking lot. It had once been a pretty nice looking Trans Am. Every window was broken, and the whole vehicle, from roof to quarter panels was dented. Apparently the short guy used his steel toed boots and took out his frustrations on the car, which belonged to his adversary...
 

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