• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

I'll Bet You Can't Top This

J

jamesholley

Guest
Nov 9, 2013
60
37
#1
This is a gig story you won't forget, and every word is true so help me God. Back in 79 I was working in a trio at a little bar in a shopping center in Fresno. One Friday night we were playing and I couldn't help but notice a couple sitting at the bar. They were drunk and making out as if no one was around. The bar tender kept telling them to knock it off. Finally she threw em' out. About 15 minutes later we took a break and I went outside with a friend to have a cigarette. The parking lot was lit up like a football stadium. Right in front of us, in the bed of an El Camino, backed into a parking stall, 3 steps from the front door, was that same couple gettin' it on!! There was no way you could miss it!. A few more people came outside for a breath of fresh air. They saw what was happening, and went back inside to tell everybody there was a "show" in the parking lot! The entire crowd came out and began laughing and cheering as lover boy kept grinding away! That's when the lady bartender, who had thrown them out originally, came outside to see what was going on. She ran back inside, and came back with a big bucket of ice water and threw it on them!! Everybody cheered as the lovers got up and tried to put their cloths on. The girl was crying and the guy was laughing as they claimed out of the back of the el Camino. Then they staggered across the parking lot, and got into ANOTHER CAR AND DROVE AWAY! It wasn't their El Camino! That's a true story so help me God.
 
  • Like
Reactions: joebar, dtsamples, My name is Mudd and 9 others
#3
Kinda hard to lock the back of an El Camino:

1968_Chevrolet_El_Camino_rear_by_compaan_art.jpg
 
  • Like
Reactions: Osztertag2112, RandalPinkFloyd, CR3AMnCR1MS0N and 11 others
#6
jamesholley said:
This is a gig story you won't forget, and every word is true so help me God. Back in 79 I was working in a trio at a little bar in a shopping center in Fresno. One Friday night we were playing and I couldn't help but notice a couple sitting at the bar. They were drunk and making out as if no one was around. The bar tender kept telling them to knock it off. Finally she threw em' out. About 15 minutes later we took a break and I went outside with a friend to have a cigarette. The parking lot was lit up like a football stadium. Right in front of us, in the bed of an El Camino, backed into a parking stall, 3 steps from the front door, was that same couple gettin' it on!! There was no way you could miss it!. A few more people came outside for a breath of fresh air. They saw what was happening, and went back inside to tell everybody there was a "show" in the parking lot! The entire crowd came out and began laughing and cheering as lover boy kept grinding away! That's when the lady bartender, who had thrown them out originally, came outside to see what was going on. She ran back inside, and came back with a big bucket of ice water and threw it on them!! Everybody cheered as the lovers got up and tried to put their cloths on. The girl was crying and the guy was laughing as they claimed out of the back of the el Camino. Then they staggered across the parking lot, and got into ANOTHER CAR AND DROVE AWAY! It wasn't their El Camino! That's a true story so help me God.
Click to expand...
Great story. I have an old friend who did the same thing believe it or not years ago. They were at a bar both drunk, and bumpin uglies in the bars lighted parking lot outside the door in the bed of an El Camino. It drew out the bar crowd who watched and cheered them on. Only thing different in my story that it was his El Camino :laugh:
 
#9
Well, idk if this tops that, but...

On the 14th of this month we were the opening band out of three, on at 9:30, off at 10:45. Next band were on and off... then the headlining band took the stage after midnight. We had NO idea who they were - the second band on invited us to open, and we are friends with them, so jumped at the gig.

They were a 4 piece punk band doing the usual sort of schtick (punching each other as they played, arms flailing wildly, guitars out of tune, drummer just spazzing on everything, mohawks, yada yada yada. The whole first song was almost 3 minutes of them shouting FU at the audience). The "vocalist" was a rather portly 20 something, wearing a hat that looked like it was stolen from the Captain of Captain and Teneille, roughly 10 gold-ish chains around his neck, Gallagher striped suspenders (yeah, I know).

He was screaming at the audience while the bassist and guitarist wailed on each other randomly until he fell off the stage (I felt it was the highlight of their set).

I was wrong. In between "songs" the guy offered to perform a sex act for guys in the men's room after their set, adding with a cavalier smile and wink, "They don't call me 3 fingers Mike for nothin!" I thought "THIS is the highlight of the set, and probably the whole reason for their gig."

I was wrong.

As their time was winding down, the "singer" took his shirt off, exposing his 36c's to the crowd. I thought, "THIS is the highlight of the show? Can't be!" I was wrong. AGAIN.

Then came big moment - he took his pants off too. Fortunately, there was a lot of girth hanging down so it made little difference until he bent over and showed his pale young backside (and thong) to the well liquored crowd. I was SOOOO Hoping that THIS was finally the highlight of the night, because there was only one place left to go after that. SWEET JEEBUS PLEASE NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

We couldn't load up fast enough.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Red Mulch, SeamzKing, My name is Mudd and 6 others
#10
bassbully said:
Great story. I have an old friend who did the same thing believe it or not years ago. They were at a bar both drunk, and bumpin uglies in the bars lighted parking lot outside the door in the bed of an El Camino. It drew out the bar crowd who watched and cheered them on. Only thing different in my story that it was his El Camino :laugh:
Click to expand...

So what is it about El Caminos that stimulates this sort of thing?
 
  • Like
Reactions: codycon96
#12
Can't top that, but I was playing a gig on the second floor of a college town and happened to look out the window. There was a car parked in front of the bar and from my angle I could see there was a couple, stark naked, doing the act in the back seat. Everyone walking by could see and they were making no attempt to cover up. Another good reason not to drink. :rollno:
 
#16
Ok- I'll try to top it......though it may not be politically correct!
about 7 years ago we are playing a private party- and the host offers us up a quart of Jack Daniels, a favorite of the drummer & myself. That particular night our lead singer decides to help us with it. Bad choice...he's gooner 1/2 way through the 1st set. We tell him to take a hike and we'll cover it without him, so off he goes. When we go on break, my wife goes off to OUR CAR (mini-van) and comes back and says "you gotta go look in the car" - so we do. So there is a long line of vomit leading to the side door. Inside is the singer, naked, with an equally naked midget- getting it on in our van!! Not even a cute midget, but a fat ugly t-rex armed ugo midget! She was just as tall laying down as standing up........ and yes, Caravans doors DO lock. Your move OP ;)
 
  • Like
Reactions: eukatheude, Spectrum and PortlandBass77
#19
Many years ago (30?) I was "crew" at a gig that we were hired to provide SR/PA for... in a place called Mingus, TX - about 80 miles west of Ft. Worth.
Jerry Jeff Walker, Bugs Henderson, some other similar names and some "local" bands were hired for the 2-day show. ( don't remember all the acts.. long time ago. We arrive to find the entire location (about 5 acres in the middle of nowhere) is surrounded by a 10 foot high chain-link fence with guards on the single entry gate.
The guards were members of the Bandito's bike "club". Yes, them. As were all attendees.. a couple hundred of them!
They were actually very pleasant to us... but:
- the guy taking apart his sons Yamaha 80cc motorcycle with a sledge-hammer under the FOH stand had some anger issues
- a mic (SM57) that caused feedback on the stage - wasn't even being used for that band - was traced back to being used by some chick who thought it was a vibrator.. she was later seen naked on her back, front of stage.
- local cops circulated the "private property" looking for any excuse to shut it down.. enough controlled substances floating around to put everyone there away for life..
- after the gig was over, we were loading up the truck and some guy comes up the truck ramp, pulls a handgun on us and insists we put everything back on and get the music going. This was not a guy you mess with.. 6'4" tall and about as wide. His brother finally talked him down, but that was pretty hairy.

stuff happens..
 
  • Like
Reactions: PortlandBass77
#20
wmhill said:
Ok- I'll try to top it......though it may not be politically correct!
about 7 years ago we are playing a private party- and the host offers us up a quart of Jack Daniels, a favorite of the drummer & myself. That particular night our lead singer decides to help us with it. Bad choice...he's gooner 1/2 way through the 1st set. We tell him to take a hike and we'll cover it without him, so off he goes. When we go on break, my wife goes off to OUR CAR (mini-van) and comes back and says "you gotta go look in the car" - so we do. So there is a long line of vomit leading to the side door. Inside is the singer, naked, with an equally naked midget- getting it on in our van!! Not even a cute midget, but a fat ugly t-rex armed ugo midget! She was just as tall laying down as standing up........ and yes, Caravans doors DO lock. Your move OP ;)
Click to expand...

That which is read cannot be unread
 
  • Like
Reactions: Bassman Spiff, drummer5359, lazarusdoom and 5 others

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back