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Is it wrong to think you're unattractive?
- Thread starter spade2you
- Start date
Tat2dHeart
Only two strings away from an attitude problem.
My issue is that I'm just way too picky when it comes to women. It's a horrible trait that I've never been able to shake
Not sure I'd call that an issue. I don't think anyone should choose a partner simply for the sake of choosing if it leaves them feeling like they've settled. If you settle, you'll probably always have doubts and that's not a very strong foundation, IMHO.
That's incredibly disheartening. You better shower her with love and attention and let her know how beautiful she is every chance you get!
I guess the idea of 'settling just to settle' is a slight fear I have, and I know it has prevented me from dating some great young women. I guess I'm always looking for someone close to perfect, but I keep letting superficial flaws (be it in regards to personality and/or looks) get in the way. I'm in no position to do that since I'm not perfect either, but it's something that does happen
Thats sad.
I think it's only going to get worse for the young ones as society has become more visual driven. Maybe we can blame TV and the social media. Also, kids can be cruel to each other.
That's been my point - we all aren't as hung up on looks as you seem to think we are.
On the other hand - it's sort of refreshing to see that guys have anxiety about this, too. It makes you seem a little more human and a little less alien species.
Ive known for a long time that women arent hung up on looks, else Id never have gotten laid
But yeah, Id say men are concerned about how we look and are perceived by the opposite sex. My girlfriend finds me attractive, Id like to keep things that way.
When I told her I wanted to flatten my belly she said she liked my belly as it was. Guess that means more beer, and less crunches for me
I married two, but I had to get rid of them.
I guess Im on number 4 now.
The other day a friend of mine commented that I always end up with good looking women. Well, Id agree,
My issue is that I'm just way too picky when it comes to women. It's a horrible trait that I've never been able to shake
I think thats actually a great trait that'll keep you away from the women that arent right with you.
Give them all a chance up front, and cut them off once something surfaces that you dont like. Like Seinfeld, get rid of the man-hands and whatnot.
but I keep letting superficial flaws (be it in regards to personality and/or looks) get in the way. I'm in no position to do that since I'm not perfect either, but it's something that does happen
Just like Seinfeld! Was he in a position to judge? Not in the slightest, but he did it anyway; he never settled!
Ive known for a long time that women arent hung up on looks, else Id never have gotten laid
But yeah, Id say men are concerned about how we look and are perceived by the opposite sex. My girlfriend finds me attractive, Id like to keep things that way.
When I told her I wanted to flatten my belly she said she liked my belly as it was. Guess that means more beer, and less crunches for me
I married two, but I had to get rid of them.
I guess Im on number 4 now.
The other day a friend of mine commented that I always end up with good looking women. Well, Id agree,
I think thats actually a great trait that'll keep you away from the women that arent right with you.
Give them all a chance up front, and cut them off once something surfaces that you dont like. Like Seinfeld, get rid of the man-hands and whatnot.
Just like Seinfeld! Was he in a position to judge? Not in the slightest, but he did it anyway; he never settled!
I could argue putting pictures in front of a group of men and another group of women and seeing who is more picky, but I'll say this: everyone has a limit of toleration of each other
I dont see what this has to do with what I was saying. You could argue, literally (especailly you), anything you like, but that doesnt mean its pertinent to the discussion being had.
Tat2dHeart
Only two strings away from an attitude problem.
What JMatt said and this....
Tell her often how beautiful, worthwhile and loved she is. I grew up with parents who described my sister and I (to strangers in our presence) as "the smart one and the pretty one." My sister, the pretty one, is bubbly, confident, and fearless when it comes to interacting with people. I've struggled with body image issues and self-esteem my entire life. TV and media are not reality when it comes to what a healthy person's body should look like.
That's incredibly disheartening. You better shower her with love and attention and let her know how beautiful she is every chance you get!
I guess the idea of 'settling just to settle' is a slight fear I have, and I know it has prevented me from dating some great young women. I guess I'm always looking for someone close to perfect, but I keep letting superficial flaws (be it in regards to personality and/or looks) get in the way. I'm in no position to do that since I'm not perfect either, but it's something that does happen
You're still in college, right? So, you're still figuring all this stuff out. There's no need to rush the settling down part, and the advice I'm giving you is the same that I gave my kids. Date or don't date who you want for whatever reasons make you happy. When you're ready to be part of a couple, don't settle. Ever. Wait for the person who meets all your wants and needs, otherwise you'll always wonder what you might have missed.
Ive known for a long time that women arent hung up on looks, else Id never have gotten laid
But yeah, Id say men are concerned about how we look and are perceived by the opposite sex. My girlfriend finds me attractive, Id like to keep things that way.
When I told her I wanted to flatten my belly she said she liked my belly as it was. Guess that means more beer, and less crunches for me
I married two, but I had to get rid of them.
I guess Im on number 4 now.
The other day a friend of mine commented that I always end up with good looking women. Well, Id agree,
I think thats actually a great trait that'll keep you away from the women that arent right with you.
Give them all a chance up front, and cut them off once something surfaces that you dont like. Like Seinfeld, get rid of the man-hands and whatnot.
Just like Seinfeld! Was he in a position to judge? Not in the slightest, but he did it anyway; he never settled!
+ a BUNCH
Perhaps she is turned on by desperation?
Just kidding, of course.
HA ha of course, that must be it!
Desperation SCORES!Don't have to go to Wal Mart... remember these people?
Invalid Link Removed
It is pertinent. When it's strictly image being observed, your coercion skills aren't worth anything.
Actually, let's elaborate a few points in the paragraph below:
I keep "arguing" with you because you seem to think that all people can all connect with all other people, and that it's just people that haven't tried it that don't manage to get along with their lives. SOME PEOPLE DO NOT WANT TO INTERACT WITH OTHER PEOPLE. That's my fundamental statement. Further, the nice guy doesn't always get the great looking girl. Not because he's ugly, not because she's stuckup, not because he's shy, but maybe it's this; IT'S HARD TO LOVE OTHERS WHEN YOU ARE LOVED BY EVERYONE ELSE. I know plenty of girls who have the social "room" all filled up and can't be bothered to want or need to let new people know them, so what do they do? Nothing. Sorry, but some people have overpopulated social lives. Some of the relationships are real, others are between them and creepers like me who like them, some relationships the girl's probably trying to connect with some other dude. But that room will fill up.
But leaving that, this thread is about whether or not you can accept you're attractive or unattractive, not whether you can make up for it and get girls in the sack.
I'm actually trying to avoid argument and add to the conversation, thanx.
Fairly certain that there have been studies on this. It would be difficult for me to prove this without going all Catfish n' stuff. Actually, it was a fairly small pool at the time.
You have a wonderful knack for arguing against statements that people never make.
The inner dialogue of your head must be amazing. Is it any fun arguing with a scarecrow?
Or here's an idea; make two online dating profiles on a site. Put you're regular self on one. Put a pic of some Calvin Klein model on another. See which gets more messages/hits
Are they not related? Why would you even bother worrying about your looks if you're not the least bit interested in attracting a possible mate? All we're saying is that while looks are a factor (even a huge one in some cases) they aren't what defines a person or their real worth. The OP seemed very insecure about his looks in regards his wife's ability to find him attractive, and we're saying his problem most likely stems from something much deeper than that.
There are some theorists on this that make the claim that within the first 5-15 seconds a girl knows whether or not she'll want to get with a guy.
As much as I'd like to deny that it is VERY plausible.
Maybe it's behavior exhibited around him that's giving him reason; but to deny looks hold so much influence in such a short amount of time and to propose its all just a matter of approach....MAYBE but I doubt it works much past introductory relations.
I don't think ppl know what real worth is, honestly. There's about as much real worth in the game of attraction as there is real worth in this iPhone in my hand. The point? I could use this phone like any other to call 911 if I'm choking, but it's a 400 dollar amount of toy features added that dont make it safer, may make it more "dangerous"
