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I've given my notice... now this...

#61
He’s just sad your leaving. He can’t say that because it would make him seem, idk..kinda needy I guess.
It’s weird to tell another adult that’s not family that you will miss their presence. It comes across as a weak feeling. So the only way the BL can act is salty.
Remember you are leaving them. Loss is loss and some adults tend to act irrational with any change. Notably, loss.
He’s allowed his feelings and you have yours. So your decision is probably best from the sound of it. Family must come first so kudos to you for that.
 
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#64
theduke1 said:
Everyone should know by now that bands are like rental properties tenants come and go it happens all the time
Take the high road and remember, if he has a problem with you it’s his problem not yours
Good luck with the family matters
Duke
Click to expand...

I like this simile, the time frames feel about right. The the churn of tenants/players can be a hassle but when you find a good one they tend to stay for a couple of years at least.
 
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#67
JRA said:
;)

i hope that your newer/personal priorities go smoothly for you and that you can jump back 'into it' if/when you want! best of luck! :thumbsup:
Click to expand...

Thank you!

Whenever I can get home life taken care of to where I can get away some, I will definitely get back into it.
I've already been contacted by some who've heard I am quitting but don't know why, to see if I'm available. I hope by the time I can resume playing that people will remember me.

I don't think I am ever going to join a group full time again ... when I do go back to it, I'll probably go back to freelancing; generally zero drama and I can leave anytime without having to go through this. Not as steady but less stress.

In the meantime I need to keep my chops up, jam with recordings, when time permits.

Thanks for all of the advice; your comments are always spot on. I'll still be poppong in here now and then. Still a lot an old dog like me can learn, and hopefully I know a couple of things I can pass along.

Peace brother! ✌️
 
#68
When someone quits, co-workers say, “we’ll miss you, sorry you’re leaving, don’t be a stranger.” When you go back 4 months later to say hello to everyone, nobody remembers your name, or they say “oh hi” then walk away. Once you’re out, you’re out.

Focus on the future. Your common shared experience with these folks is ending.
Good luck with your next band.
 
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#70
Cliff Colton said:
When someone quits, co-workers say, “we’ll miss you, sorry you’re leaving, don’t be a stranger.” When you go back 4 months later to say hello to everyone, nobody remembers your name, or they say “oh hi” then walk away. Once you’re out, you’re out.

Focus on the future. Your common shared experience with these folks is ending.
Good luck with your next band.
Click to expand...

Whenever I get back into it again I have no thoughts about working with the same band again; however since I've worked with the keyboard player in other bands, it's possible we could be in another band again.

In the short time since I gave my notice there have been other musicians contacting me to see if I was available, which is nice to have that good of a standing... that's all that I hope isn't gone by the time I get back into playing.

Right now it's not possible but W
with any luck I can get things arranged to where I can do fill in gigs occasionally to keep my name circulating as a good player, because people overall will forget who you are in a relatively short period of time.
 
#73
I only burn bridges that I intend to never again cross. I have quit more bands than I can count, however, I always leave them the same way:
1) I have decided on an "end date" and I will honor all currently booked gigs, unless my replacement is ready and wants to take over earlier.
2) I am willing to ask around for my own replacement...
3) I will help the new person with notes, charts, versions, etc.
4) I "MAY" be available to sub down the road.

I don't just "walk off" or "rage quit". It should never get to that point.
 
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#76
I'm not even going to say it doesn't hurt.

But you ALWAYS have to do what is right for you and your family, in your own eyes. Understand - that doesn't mean you are actually right. You could be very very wrong. Foolish, irrational, and stupid happen. It might be you! But that's not the point.

Now - after said decision, it really is all about points of style.

You can make it as easy on the other Impacted parties as possible (Find replacement, honor scheduled gigs)

Or handle the basics (90 day notice, do what you have to, make up a legit reason if you don't have one)

Or you can throw gasoline on a chunk of c4 and blow up the bridge. (Send them a text 30 minutes after the big gig was supposed to start telling them, to eff off an die)

What goes around, comes around, not always but often enough. Always be professional. After that it's on them.
 
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#77
Just quit the band I’ve gigged with for three years. Really sucks because I really enjoy gigging. Had some great times but somethings I cannot continue to over look. Last show was supposed to be an important one for Halloween. The two guitarists showed up in costume but drunk (not the first time inebriated). One incapable of playing 1/2 way through the night. What a mess. Took the high road a week later stating that I was going to take a year off on bass. Suggested they look for a replacement and I would cover any existing gigs. COVID did play into my decision as well. Looking forward to spending the winter relearning acoustic guitar while resurrecting a duo with my wife. Hope to be playing some low key shows a few times a month by spring.

Playing in a band is like a volunteer army. You should respectfully get in or out.
 
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