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Jokes

A big band goes into the recording studio and after several takes the bandleader looks at the drummer and says, "This time, could we pay attention to the dynamics?". The drummer replys, "What do you want? I'm playing as loud as I can!"

What do a chic singer and an underwater demolition team have in common?

They're both great at blowing bridges.
 
This band was rocking out at a really cool
club in LA. The band was hot! They think they see a William Morris agent in the back of the room. As they play the guitarist thinks to himself, "This is great. I'm going to be famous and all the girls will love me." The keyboardist thinks "It's about time someone discovered me. Now people all over the world will know and love my music." The drummer thinks "Wow! Cool! I'm going to be rich and I'll be able to buy lots and lots of stuff." The bass player thinks "G - D - C - G".
 
Okay, for my Jazz band at school, my friend (he shall remain nameless) and I were in the band room practicing, he witha sax and I with my bass. He had seen me play for several months, and was starting to want tio move in that direction. He asked if he could try somthing he had seen done by a professional player, something off of MTV. He picks up my bass grabs a bass pick, and hits all four strings at once, and THEY ALL BREAK!! all four of them, and they all curls back up (they were BRAND new) and slash his face. Right along his cheek and nose. Left a lot of blood on my bass, which, strangely, he has never touched again. Apparently, he had been holding the pick sidways, so it was edge on ot the strings. DUH!!
 
One day a bassman died.He started to travel and met with an angel at the end of the light.Angel:
-You,men,you've been good boy.So you can have a great time in heaven.Before going there,make a wish..
Bassman:
-Great!!.I wanna see Charles Mingus.He might be here...
Angel:
-Sure.This way please..
Then they started to walk.Suddenly man hears a sound.A full,fat,strong basslines.Playing a Mingus song.Excellent.
Bassman turns around and sees the guy with white long dress,playing the doublebass
Bassman:
-Ohhh,there he is..He is playing marvelous..
Angel:
-Oh no,he isnt Mingus.He is God.He pretends that he is Mingus

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Here are a couple for ya.

What is the difference between a bass guitar and a trampoline?


You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
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What do you call a person who hangs around with a bunch of mucicians?

A drummer
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