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Married gear addicts: How do you do it?

Sorry guys, but all the "you earn the money, you spend it" responses are completely asinine. Just because a person has a job that makes the money does NOT make that person the smartest manager of that money. And it absolutely does not absolve a person of the responsibility to treat their spouse as a partner - a woman who stays at home for the kids rather than taking a paying job does not then become slave labor or something like that. Welcome to the 20th century.

To the OP, my wife is pretty similar. She's supportive of my bass playing but watches every penny we spend, and I'd say it's a good thing she does. Some of us, if it weren't for our wives, we'd be living out of an old Pinto with seventeen basses in the back seat. I would say to tell her what it is you want and why you want it. Stress to her that you don't want to mess up the budget but you think you're doing well enough that you'll be able to afford it. Then lay out a budget for how you're going to set aside money to pay for it -- X dollars per month or whatever.

When you said a B-15, I assume you meant the Ampeg amp, not the cheap ESP guitar? It seems to me the issue there is that you already have a head and two cabs. I would consider selling the existing setup to help pay for the B-15, unless you've got a really good reason for having both. That's likely to be a sticking point with her -- if you're not a professional musician, what do you need two amps cluttering up the house for?

I put aside just a few bucks a week for music. I throw all the stuff I want onto an Amazon wishlist -- it's kind of like window shopping, eases my GAS, and then if anyone is looking for a birthday/christmas/father's day gift idea, they know where to look. And we have an agreement that any gig money I make, half becomes a contribution to the general budget and half goes to my gear fund.

One other thing you might try doing, if you have the time, would be to take on other outside work to pay for gear. If the budget is set on existing income, then you have a stronger case that if you go make $500 on some temp job, it's not needed for the budget and you can use it for gear.
 
I think I'm starting to see the crowd's point of view split a bit. I have the modern 810 on craigslist right now, but it seems like the market is saturated with them. I'm going to take the route suggested by so many and sell some gear. I don't need two 810's and I'm ashamed I managed to collect them both. As for needing two separate amp rigs; I play large church gigs and bar shows semi-regularly and the SVT-CL/810 is perfect for those, but I primarily do session work for two different studios in the area, and a B-15 would be perfect for that.

I'm going to be patient, and wait till I have generated the money myself. Thanks for everyones input on the issue. This thread has been both comical and educational.
 
I think most of us married guys are in a similar situation. Although when we get a chunk of extra money my wife normally throws me a bone, it is really tough for me to get money from our budget for gear. I usually do odd jobs here and there or scrap aluminum or something and save up for what I need. Sometimes I will trade or sell something. Gig money goes straight into the gear fund ( after gas).
 
Hmmm chances if your doing a church gig.. And your wanting to with hold or lie about your gear purchasing... Chances are Your buddy up above is probably not too happy. Maybe you should land better gigs that don't involve you waking up early in the morning to play for old ladies.
 
My wife thinks I should buy a Sadowsky !

Meantime, I'm thrilled at the Fender Jazz Bass I bought off CL last week for $100 - Straightened the neck, tightened the tuners, added a new black pickguard for $17 and a Chrome pickup cover for $13 - cleaned and set it up sweet and voila! Another great bass for under $150

The thrill of the deal!

I cringe at the thought of spending $3 or $4 grand for a bass. I can buy 20 basses for that!

:hyper::cool::hyper:
 
I'd say your wife has a point...IF she had a job. Since you earn 100% of the money, you should make 100% of the financial decisions. If she doesn't think you're contributing enough money to your joint financial goals, just point out her (zero) contribution and move on. She hasn't kept you debt free- you have. You've earned all of the money for your "cash only" lifestyle.
Nice.
 
Sorry guys, but all the "you earn the money, you spend it" responses are completely asinine. Just because a person has a job that makes the money does NOT make that person the smartest manager of that money. And it absolutely does not absolve a person of the responsibility to treat their spouse as a partner - a woman who stays at home for the kids rather than taking a paying job does not then become slave labor or something like that. Welcome to the 20th century.

Your wife was watching you write this, wasn't she? If shes not contributing income, shes not making the decisions. Welcome to the 21st century.

After all, you wouldn't put up with that crap from a room mate.
 
Your wife was watching you write this, wasn't she? If shes not contributing income, shes not making the decisions. Welcome to the 21st century.

After all, you wouldn't put up with that crap from a room mate.

A marriage is different from a roommate scenario. I had to stop working and go on disability permanently a few years ago, and while I still brought in income my wife at the time held it over my head that she made and contributed more than me and resented the fact that I didn't work and therefore "wasn't pulling my weight". But, I still took care of our house, cleaned, cooked, and did things so she wouldn't have to worry about other responsibilities when she came home.

When you get married it's a partnership and it doesn't matter IMO who brings in the money and who doesn't. As long as you're both working together, and if the man brings home the money and the wife watches the kids all day, that's the same in my book. The whole "she doesn't make the money, she can't make the decisions" thing is bull. Fine then, if you don't watch the kids all day then you have no reason to comment on how the kids should be raised?
 
Sorry guys, but all the "you earn the money, you spend it" responses are completely asinine. Just because a person has a job that makes the money does NOT make that person the smartest manager of that money. And it absolutely does not absolve a person of the responsibility to treat their spouse as a partner - a woman who stays at home for the kids rather than taking a paying job does not then become slave labor or something like that. Welcome to the 20th century.

To the OP, my wife is pretty similar. She's supportive of my bass playing but watches every penny we spend, and I'd say it's a good thing she does. Some of us, if it weren't for our wives, we'd be living out of an old Pinto with seventeen basses in the back seat. I would say to tell her what it is you want and why you want it. Stress to her that you don't want to mess up the budget but you think you're doing well enough that you'll be able to afford it. Then lay out a budget for how you're going to set aside money to pay for it -- X dollars per month or whatever.

When you said a B-15, I assume you meant the Ampeg amp, not the cheap ESP guitar? It seems to me the issue there is that you already have a head and two cabs. I would consider selling the existing setup to help pay for the B-15, unless you've got a really good reason for having both. That's likely to be a sticking point with her -- if you're not a professional musician, what do you need two amps cluttering up the house for?

I put aside just a few bucks a week for music. I throw all the stuff I want onto an Amazon wishlist -- it's kind of like window shopping, eases my GAS, and then if anyone is looking for a birthday/christmas/father's day gift idea, they know where to look. And we have an agreement that any gig money I make, half becomes a contribution to the general budget and half goes to my gear fund.

One other thing you might try doing, if you have the time, would be to take on other outside work to pay for gear. If the budget is set on existing income, then you have a stronger case that if you go make $500 on some temp job, it's not needed for the budget and you can use it for gear.

Well put.
I can't believe some of the responses in this thread (lie, have your gear shipped to work, she has no input because you bring home the money)

If you have to lie like that, your marriage/partnership is in trouble.

Your wife, whether she works a paying job or is a homemaker is an equal partner.
So, make a purchase plan that you can both live with. Since this is something that is important to you, being denied access to wonderful bass gear is not the answer.

I recently purchased a new rig. The compromise was that I sell unused gear to help finance the purchase. I also worked gobs of overtime at work. I also purchase my wife some nice jewelery (something that she would never do for herself).

I sold the following:

Ampeg BXT 4x10 cab
Schroeder 1210 cab
SWR SM-500 = $1,200.00 New rig $1,800.00

In the end there was no minimal to no disruption of the finances.
 
I've seen some of your posts and pictures....... some people have accumulate a mass of gear. I have an Ampeg 1975 810, a modern Ampeg 810, an Ampeg SVT-CL, some pedals, and a Fender P-bass. I'm jealous, so I must know; how do you do it?

The money has to be rational for the family. My wife and I both have good-paying professional jobs, and she has worked throughout our 26-year marriage. I admit that I can't see how families support themselves with only one parent working, but that's not your question - although it IS a factor.

Result of two professional jobs and two daughters out of the house: I have a dozen basses (which is more than enough) and the gear I need. Even some that I simply want. But 10 years ago, I would have bought less because we'd have had two daughters in Jr High.

Talk with your wife. Work out what you want and what she and the family both need. Plan ahead. If you play out, make an agreement that your earnings go into a gear fund. But given the space you have and the income, limit your GAS to a rational level for your living situation.
 
This is what I just posted in another thread of similar topic:

Sold it for less than double, took that profit, found a similar deal, flipped it and then that profit was added in and suddenly I'm about $1500 ahead.

Yeah I have always done the same thing...kept buying and flipping to get where I need to. I do not use my paychecks to buy gear! And believe me, I have had some awesome items that I absolutely did not want to sell off, but I knew I'd eventually have to if I wanted to get to my 'next level'.
I'd say I'm at the end of my GAS tank though. I just bought my last object of desire axe today (another british custom), and everything in my collection is down to all what I consider keepers I've always wanted.
And, I have more than enough left over to pay for this quarter of classes my wife is taking. She's been out of work for the past year!

So if you want the bass, find a way to go buy it. Surely there has to be some stuff you can find to sell off on CL or Ebay...anything...old car parts, old toys, any other old junk in the garage. Anything that can get you a few bucks closer.

Seriously it can be done, I just bought a Wal yesterday, and I bought a Wal back in october, and one last january, and a Mesa Titan and 8x10 last month. yes I sold some nice pieces to get me there, but I got where I wanted.
 
For me, being in a cover band, I explain to her it's like a mechanic buying tools for his trade. My bass gear is making me money......sometimes it works. If she still is bent outta shape for a piece of new gear, I give her the gig money from the night and tell her to go shopping :)