Musicians and their women (RANT)

[Nedmundo]

Not saying they're not all nuts, mind you, but there's clearly a continuum that ranges from occasional moodiness and purse and show fetishes all the way to cutting off your junk with scissors while you sleep.

That's the best line I've read on TB in months. Outstanding!

BTW, I've been happily married to an artsy, eccentric brunette for sixteen years. If they're completely sane, they're usually boring.

 

[MoireBass]

like the original post artsy brunettes are a weakness of mine too. add green eyes and i cant stay away. im like a moth to flame.

Make that brunette or redhead, add slender and intelligent, and yeah it's "flap, flap, flap, wham, burn, sizzle, char, fall" for me too.

On the other hand, I'm fugly enough that a girl simply needs to be crazy to like me. Is this your situation?

Uh, 25% fugly, 60% short, and 15% the kind of person who thinks the late Bill Hicks was a genius, if that means anything to you.

Go Asian. This is all I have to say.

My last girlfriend was from ShangHai, met her at work. She was more than a few years younger but we had a real connection and really did have a lot of fun together. She told me about her old boyfriend moving to town, but I never met him. We broke up 6-8 months later but remained friends. We both got hit in a massive layoff at work and she took a good job in another state. I found out later that she'd been sleeping with her old boyfriend since shortly after he got to town. So it goes.

Occam's razor would argue that the likelihood of you being attracted to dramatic women seems a more likely situation than every woman being a drama case.

I kinda like the theory that estrogen is as poisonous to mental stability as testosterone is to hair follicles....

 

[SurferJoe46]

I've been with mine for 10 years, now she is going through menopause. It's a level of insanity that can't even be measured. from minute to minute I have no idea whats next.

So far this thread has been very predictable.

OP - Chicks are crazy. About 10 posts saying yep. About 10 posts saying 'not mine'. About 5 posts saying I don't have a chick with various degrees of smuggery, and the obligatory 5 post where Matticus turns the conversation into a bragfest about his chick, my post on asian chicks, and a few random posts.

My first (deceased) wife was a Surfer Chick from Huntington Beach and was the best I ever had for a friend and a supporter of anything I wanted to do as far as work, places to live and generally all aspects of life. Her death floored me and for the next five years I was actively searching for a woman who would accept my kids and not have a lot of baggage herself.

Thinking with the 'other' head, I married a good looking woman who presented herself in a bright package of acceptance and what appeared to be a lovable situation.

After the ceremony - things changed, but it took a couple of years. She has consistently chewed at my lifestyle and all the things she said she liked.

Warning: There IS a seven year itch! Not that I took advantage of it - but that marked a total change by her of attitude and acceptability of me and the things I loved to the max!

She's constantly trying to erode my status as a human-male and now with her menopause - it's totally out of hand.

Of course - her menopause is MY fault as is her gray hair and feeling older. Cripes! She's 58 y/o now so things are gonna change, even though she is still good looking; decidedly shapely and still cute.

Her memory is so poor that if I didn't take pictures of some of the places we went together, she'd have NO proof that we ever went there. She even tries to tell me I went with my deceased wife and not her even though the date on the pixs show otherwise!

Every time she blinks her eyes, it's a new day and things start all over again.

I know that sounds shallow - but people look at her and they don't see the person under the skin, so I must be the heavy!

NOTHING I do can please her and quite frankly I don't think I would even like taking her to a free dog fight now.

We used to go out at least weekly to a nice restaurant or something off the beaten path for eclectic entertainment and foods.

I was in the act of buying tickets for the Blues Cruise for us - an ocean cruise with a full ticket of great blues bands on an ocean liner - going to Mexico and just having a good time. Nope! She said it was just music and she wasn't interested - besides the ocean's dangerous and -- and ---- and ----on and on.

Not any more - I usually go by myself to things that used to interest 'us' but now only interest me - as she has little/no appreciation for things cerebral or artistic ("Anybody can draw pictures like that" - "Anyone can play music like that" or "That's just a big waste of time") - and to me as an era 1964 Pre-Med student and having a Fine Arts minor, that just sux.

If I had it to do all over - I'd never marry any woman after my first one passed away. It's inevitable that you would make comparisons, but in my case I can see severe differences in the first to the second and the view is not nice.

Imagine the money I'd have too if I didn't have to pay for two of everything.

 

[Relic]

*ALL* chicks are nuts to varying degrees. The trick is to find one's who's insanity sorta falls into line with yours and you're golden. Oh and don't think for a minute that YOU are somehow normal?? You play bass for christsakes!! You're a bonifide nut. Just look for a chick who's insanity works with yours.

I tend to like Asian and Latin girls, so I married one who is both and who's insanity offsets my insanity nicely. heh. yeah.

 

[UncleFluffy]

Crazy in women is like spicy in food. It attracts your attention, one or two bites is delicious, but eating too much causes illness and you get bored of a diet made entirely of it real fast.

My experience is that learning this fact is the primary purpose of your 20s.

 

[SteveC]

No issues with my wife. We met at my gigs, got married, I still swap gear, it's all good.

 

[SurferJoe46]

*ALL* chicks are nuts to varying degrees. The trick is to find one's who's insanity sorta falls into line with yours and you're golden. Oh and don't think for a minute that YOU are somehow normal?? You play bass for christsakes!! You're a bonifide nut. Just look for a chick who's insanity works with yours.

I tend to like Asian and Latin girls, so I married one who is both and who's insanity offsets my insanity nicely. heh. yeah.

It is said that opposites attract - how much more opposite can you get than a man and a woman?

 

[LiquidMidnight]

No pics, no hot artsty brunettes.

I'm surprised it's been three pages since anyone's said that yet.

 

[totallyfrozen]

Is it our plight as artists to have terrible relationships? Date women who are inevitably on meds, have emotional issues, can't function socially?

I've never actually fallen for a girl that doesn't have something like that. I'm beginning to think my love for artsy brunettes just means I'm forever resigned to drama, inconsistency, daddy issues...

Am I the only one? Ladies? Are we just storing our bones in dirt and need to be shown the light?

I think you have a valid point. Sure, dysfunction isn't limited to artists; however, it seems the NORM for artists to have dysfunctional relationships.
It takes a lot of work to grow past it and some people never do.

Try this: ditch the artsy brunettes and go for an educated blonde...it worked for me.

Seriously though, remember all these things exist on a scale. Everybody in ever relationship has SOME dysfunction because we are all imperfect, selfish people interacting with each other. Just get in a relationship that has a level of dysfunction that's within your happiness range. Notice I didn't say the least dysfunction possible. The reason I didn't say that it because YOU bring some dysfunction to your relationships too. So if you were with a perfect person, you'd be the one making the other person miserable. Generally, it's better to try to find the healthiest person possible. If a healthy, balanced person has a problem with you...it's YOU that's nuts...fix it. People should get someone they're compatible with on as many levels as possible and learn HOW to fight. You can fight without name calling, throwing and/or slamming stuff around, yelling, or hitting. Then your fights are short and no one ends up saying anything hurtful. Takes work and practice but it's worth it.

If none of that works, then just turn your amp up when she's talking.

 

[MakiSupaStar]

When sexy Asian chicks go crazy they just look cute.

 

[UncleFluffy]

When sexy Asian chicks go crazy they just look cute.

Strangely enough, this is true even when they've gone knife-wieldingly crazy.

 

[XtreO]

I hate generalizations too... because there's always a counter argument. But I actually think this holds water. Don't expressive people need some sort of... inspiration, catalyst... If you're looking for that in your sig-o's you're bound to also have to deal with the inevitable downsides. I personally can't seem to be attracted to the ones that are good for me. The straight-laced day jobbers with a degree and a limited admiration for music, literature, etc. just don't do it for me. They'd be GREAT... but I just keep going for the dysfunction. Wondering if I'm alone in this one or, maybe if there's a happy medium.

Holds water. That is a strange expression. There is a Norwegian equivalent, and I thought it meant that something was wonky in some way. Say, you wouldn't like your boat to hold water. That would be bad. You'd like it to keep water out. Recently though, I was informed I was on the wrong track in regards to the use of the expression. But I still can't get my head around it, because a boat holding water is not something you yearn for, which is why most boats drain themselves. And for this instance, a generalisation holding water? That would make it wet. And the things that are wet I dry.

 

[James_B]

You haven't lived until you've straight up, just walked away from a crazy chick, mid crazy/baby like behavior and never looked back.

 

[UncleFluffy]

Holds water. That is a strange expression.

I always thought it was a roundabout way of saying "does not have holes in it" - i.e. an argument that does not hold water is an argument that has holes in it.

 

[MatticusMania]

Has anyone ever told her she looks like Ali Larter, albeit a younger version?

No I havet heard that one. Now that you mention it however, and especially in that pic, she kinda does.

as a casual observer, you need to put a ring on that girl's finger. if you don't, someone else will.

Thank you casual observer. I agree with you 100%. She's been wearing my ring for the last 3 months now. The date is set for next June.

And, it might seem like I talk my fiancee up a lot, but seriously, there is so much awesome that goes unsaid.

obligatory 5 post where Matticus turns the conversation into a bragfest about his chick,

At least its ackowledged to be obligatory.

 

[SurferJoe46]

Holds water. That is a strange expression. There is a Norwegian equivalent, and I thought it meant that something was wonky in some way. Say, you wouldn't like your boat to hold water. That would be bad. You'd like it to keep water out. Recently though, I was informed I was on the wrong track in regards to the use of the expression. But I still can't get my head around it, because a boat holding water is not something you yearn for, which is why most boats drain themselves. And for this instance, a generalisation holding water? That would make it wet. And the things that are wet I dry.

'Holds water' as in: a canteen when you want to get a drink out of it - or perhaps it hearkens back to the days of camels on the deserts and the goatskin water bags that they carried.

Holding water in those situations would be a plus, I feel.

Besides, we always pulled our wooden boats out of the boathouse the first of spring and filled them with water to swell the wood.

If they didn't hold water after a day or so of soaking them, they needed caulking. That would also be a nice thing to find out while the boat was on shore and not out in the middle of the lake.

 

[mike_v_s]

Married 10 years. Pretty "normal", I guess. Ups, down, but no knives. I can really bring out the worst in her when we go at it (that penchant for sarcasm has its drawbacks), but I try to balance it with making her laugh when she has a mouth full of food.

Mike

 

[SurferJoe46]

Married 10 years. Pretty "normal", I guess. Ups, down, but no knives. I can really bring out the worst in her when we go at it (that penchant for sarcasm has its drawbacks), but I try to balance it with making her laugh when she has a mouth full of food.

Mike

If you marry young enough - you will grow up together and there's a lot of co-molding and modification going on.

First pregnancy - first child - first house - first new car and all that type of stuff.

I was very fortunate in that my first wife and I did 99% of our maturing together - even though we had established some individual lifestyle characteristics separately in high school and college. But we were young enough to make those minor changes easily enough at that formative age.

Just try marrying one that has a previous married life and you are also automatically guilty of the same crimes that the first spouse had and did to her - or they suspect you will be the same way and act proactively.

 

[MakiSupaStar]

If you marry young enough - you will grow up together and there's a lot of co-molding and modification going on.

First pregnancy - first child - first house - first new car and all that type of stuff.

I was very fortunate in that my first wife and I did 99% of our maturing together - even though we had established some individual lifestyle characteristics separately in high school and college. But we were young enough to make those minor changes easily enough at that formative age.

Just try marrying one that has a previous married life and you are also automatically guilty of the same crimes that the first spouse had and did to her - or they suspect you will be the same way and act proactively.

Hey Joe. Just curious, you hail from Palm Springs, but how did you come up with the title 'Surfer' Joe. Shouldn't that be something like, ShankoptopusJoe, or TwoPuttJoe, or something like that?

 

[MoireBass]

*ALL* chicks are nuts to varying degrees. The trick is to find one's who's insanity sorta falls into line with yours and you're golden. Oh and don't think for a minute that YOU are somehow normal?? You play bass for christsakes!! You're a bonifide nut. Just look for a chick who's insanity works with yours.

Oh, I know that! The trick is also to find one who's insanity sorta fits with yours, and who you find somewhat entertaining, and attractive, and isn't completely toxic to your mental, psychological and physical well-being *and* one where you are good for her too. That seems to be a difficult combination.

When sexy Asian chicks go crazy they just look cute.

True dat.