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Oh Dear God, The Horror!

#41
Plutonium244 said:
A (sort of but not really) comical thing I saw many years ago at a gig... the warm-up band had played, I'll never forget, they were called Blade Runner... drummer was a funny character, about a 45 yr old rocker with frizzed har and spandex, playing with a bunch of guys that were like 18 or so who are very inexperienced. I think this was their first gig. He always had a very sly "I am up to something" look on his face. Always has some angle. His name was, aptly, "Smiley."

A brief humorous aside before continuing, these young kids had obviously had rock-n-roll fantasies in leading up to this... guy in the band walks to the edge of the stage during their rendition of "Smokin' in the Boyz Room" with a pack of cigarettes. Obviously they had imagined a throng of fans pushing up to the stage... so he tosses the cigarette pack theatrically into the throng... which isn't there. Hardly anyone there at the time (outdoor party gig, bonfire/night etc). The cigarettes land anticlimacticly on the grass to silence.

So anyway, their set ends with Smiley playing a 10 minute drum solo while the rest of the band has gone somewhere to get high or something. This is on a semi flatbed. He ends by doing a jump from the riser like David Lee Roth, theatrically with legs kicked way out.... when he lands the semi flat bed flexes and "bounces". ALL their guitars go flying off their stands! The sound of a smattering of applause slightly muffles the sound of clattering guitars. He looks around, sees no band members, and puts them quietly back on their stands, and sneaks away like nothing happened.

Of course the band returns for their next set, none the wiser... they didn't tune again before the 2nd set (inexperienced). 1st song starts with a drum intro, and when the band comes in, it's the most god-awful, out-of-tune racket you've ever heard. They are puzzled and struggle through to the end... then one guy notices a chip on his guitar... then another guy... bad moment for them. I don't know if they ever found out what happened.
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Sounds like the plot to a movie I saw once.
 
#42
I always take one of these with me:
upload_2016-4-8_22-49-19.png

Sturdy, small, and dead cheap.
 
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#43
rtslinger said:
Well my Fender P has a battle scar from just that type of thing I put it on a stand in a place I just felt it was going to be a problem sure as heck I am relaxing between sets and this idiot starts some crap with some other idiot pushes the first one an when does he ends up straddling my bass on the hard tile floor! I shot out of my chair and snatched him up by the back of his shirt and tossed him aside like a rag doll before the bouncer could leave his place holding up the wall. I was kicking myself the rest of the night. when I get home tonight I will update this story with a picture of the battle scar so you can all hate him as much as I do.
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i certainly don't mind sharing in some group hate. the backlash on the perpetrator is more swift and direct! :D
 
#45
bdplaid said:
I feel badly for you, but I really think you ought to teach yourself to let these things go... They're only objects. They can be replaced.

I know a guy formerly with the band Boston who owns expensive instruments. He tours with a single $300 off the shelf guitar - so it can be replaced if something happens. I myself own really nice equipment - none of which I can't live without. I own nothing that I particularly care about. It can all be replaced. My wife, my family, my dogs are the only things I would run headlong into a burning building to rescue.

It's as simple as the priorities in one's own head.
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I understand that just as well anyone else but if I paid my hard earned money for it, I'm not exactly hoping it gets ruined haha :D

There was nothing for me prioritize.
 
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#46
I guess I'll just address a couple of things;

Sorry I offended some of you guys with my terrible prioritizing skills. :laugh:

I couldn't really have laid it down (even though that's what I usually do). The cable was extremely short so it probably would have pulled everything down with it.

And for the record the word "horror" in the title was used jokingly. I know that a bass falling over isn't the most horrific thing that could possibly happen. Trust me.

Also, join the Oatmeal club, we have free numbers. The Oatmeal Club! (Part 1)

All of this could have been avoided if I had had a great big bowl of Oats that morning.
 
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#50
FrenchBassQC said:
Even better, couldn't you have just laid down on the ground right next to the bass?
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I agree. Stay with her. Tell her it's going to be all right. You'll both get through this. Caress her and promise you'll finally play her like she wants to be played, on that deep, G note. With 'Don't Fear The Reaper' guitar arpeggios playing swelling up, like something bad is about to happen...
 
#53
Bodeanly said:
If I have no stress, my mind will create imaginary stress. If I were in your position, and was not worried about the bass, I would start to worry about an assassination attempt, especially if my ex was seated behind me. Or, at the very least, she would flick boogers at me. Then, there's always the terrorists that can come in and take all of us hostage. What I'm trying to say is that it's better you worry about your bass than be assassinated. Well, looks like it's time for another cup of coffee.
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Coffee causes cancer, but don't worry, you'll probably be assassinated before that happens. Enjoy your decaf and have a nice day. By the way, there is a booger on the back of your collar.
 
#55
organworthyplayer337 said:
I guess I'll just address a couple of things;

Sorry I offended some of you guys with my terrible prioritizing skills. :laugh:

I couldn't really have laid it down (even though that's what I usually do). The cable was extremely short so it probably would have pulled everything down with it.

And for the record the word "horror" in the title was used jokingly. I know that a bass falling over isn't the most horrific thing that could possibly happen. Trust me.

Also, join the Oatmeal club, we have free numbers. The Oatmeal Club! (Part 1)

All of this could have been avoided if I had had a great big bowl of Oats that morning.
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Not offended at all. maybe I took it too seriously. I love oatmeal.
 
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#57
About 15 years ago we were breaking down after a gig. Now, the first thing I do at the end of a gig, is to put my guitar/bass away. Always. ALWAYS. (I play a'63 Jaguar, so I'm rather particular about this.)
The other guitarist wasn't quite as particular about his guitar. So, he leans his SG against a wall. Sitting on top of a cable. Bad idea.
The bass player reaches down to grab the cable (not noticing that it's on top of a guitar), and before I have a chance to get his attention and yell 'Don't', gives the cable a yank. Yup.
That guitar hit the ground, and the headstock snapped like a Popsicle stick. There was silence, followed by the whimpering of a man whose prized SG had just been de-headstocked. Well, the guitar was expertly repaired (the tech did a fantastic job), and you can bet the SGs owner was a lot more careful after that.

The moral of this story (Not to add to anyone's paranoia), is that you can never be too careful.
 
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#58
Joe Nerve said:
IME, only guitar you never want to drop is a Les Paul.
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Or an SG. Both have that Gibson style headstock that for some reason snaps off if you look at it wrong. My guitarist has an Epiphone SG and sure enough one day he leaned it against his bed, watched it fall over, and now he has gained a new skill gluing Gibson style headstocks back onto guitars. Cool thing is he got it back in action with no major issues.
 
#59
Spectrum said:
Or an SG. Both have that Gibson style headstock that for some reason snaps off if you look at it wrong.
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LOL. Not sure why that cracked me up, but it did.

I've seen more Gibson headstocks glued back together than any other guitar. Come to think of it, it's the only guitar I've ever known that to happen to, unless intentionally smashed. I owned a Les Paul with a glued headstock. Was given to me... sort of. Long story.
 
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