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Policy on girlfriends at practice
- Thread starter Comrade Momenta
- Start date
We have the occasional kid drop-in to say good night, but no wives or g/f's... The wives and g/f's want very little to do with the music we play. Women generally don't like metal.
+1
Only had my GF at one practice for one band, she never spoke or interfered. Since we were working, she got bored and went for a walk. Never went back once she saw how everything worked.
All the other bands I've been in, only band members/managers were allowed unless it was the very occasional family member of the manager or band members.
We allow people to attend our rehearsals in my acoustic trio. I tell them up front that they may need a high tolerance for repetition. It gives people the opportunity to "have a look under the hood" and see how a group puts things together. However, all they have to do is start making suggestions, giving advice, telling stories, etc. and they're uninvited pretty quickly.
My wife has been to a couple of my original band's practices, mostly to hang w/my sis-in-law. But it's too loud, goes on too late, and she gets little to no attention from me, so not attractive for her.
She hasn't been to a practice for my country band, nor would she want to go. The room is small, there is no place to sit, it's too loud, and it's a pigpen. And it goes on too late, and she'd be getting little to no attention from me, so not attractive for her.
We sometimes get a few of the drummer's and guitarist's friends dropping by, and they are a distraction. I prefer them to come to the gig instead.
She hasn't been to a practice for my country band, nor would she want to go. The room is small, there is no place to sit, it's too loud, and it's a pigpen. And it goes on too late, and she'd be getting little to no attention from me, so not attractive for her.
We sometimes get a few of the drummer's and guitarist's friends dropping by, and they are a distraction. I prefer them to come to the gig instead.
Fixed that for you.
I think the problem on TB is that a lot of the members have terrible taste in women.
It seems that most of the guys on here go for the crazed alcoholic bar-fly type of women as long as they are physically attractive.
I would go for a safe rule of thumb. If she is interested in you whilst you are playing a gig at your local dive bar, she is bad news. 1) Because you are in a dirty little bar playing terrible covers to middle-aged divorcees and Sammy Hagar wannabes (which probably include your singer, lets be honest here) and 2) because you are the bassist and the absolute lowest in the pecking order. I guess the problem is that a lot of the posts on here have massive egos but zero self esteem. I've seen that' chicks at shows' thread. My hypothesis is water tight.
"I came home and found her sleeping with the drummer, having changed the locks and put all the kitchen appliances in the garden... she had the body of a super model though!!!!". Your fault for shacking up with Plungy McNeckline the divorcee mother of five in the leopard print with the nicotine tan because she said your 'geetar was purdy'.
Waiting eagerly for the next "bitches be crazy thread".
Fixed that for you.
"I came home and found her sleeping with the drummer, having changed the locks and put all the kitchen appliances in the garden... she had the body of a super model though!!!!". Your fault for shacking up with Plungy McNeckline the divorcee mother of five in the leopard print with the nicotine tan because she said your 'geetar was purdy'.
Waiting eagerly for the next "bitches be crazy thread".
Alice Cooper said it best. "I love all these rock stars who cry in their beer divorce after divorce whining about why they can't find a woman who will be true.
HELLO!!? You keep marrying strippers! Of course she is going to cheat on you. She Is used to taking her clothes of in front of strange men. Thats what she does!!! Find a woman who is hard to separate from her clothes. That's your first clue."
Anyone who visits practice, whether they be significant others, parents, etc., must abide with "visitors rules" - be quiet, don't distract members from doing their job, don't attract attention, etc. It's up to you guys to make up those rules and stick to them. If you know that your visitor cannot live up to those rules don't invite them - it doesn't matter if he/she is someone close to you. What ticks me off is when band members bring outsiders to practice who act like pricks and said member expects the rest of the band to show the visitor respect because the visitor is close to the inviting member
I don't want to be anywhere....where my wife is unwelcomed.
My experience has been that band practice has nearly always been at someone's house/ basement. Hosts family is there anyhow..maybe not in practice space but if hosts family is welcome..[unless band rents a space] then my wife and everyone elses should be welcomed as well...MY OPINION.
Typically I believe after initial intros and a few practices.. it would be rather boring for any spouse, girlfriend..whatever. Same tunes..night after night..week after week.. they will find something else to do eventually. Even attending shows/ gigs if you frequently play-out.. will be BORING for the spouse eventually.
Unless I am making big bucks and band is under management policies....don't tell me my wife isn't welcomed..
I have quit many bands which in my opinion was no more than a musical method of avoiding family...an alternative to golf...
Also I NEVER want to join another band which is so demanding as to make you feel that you are not putting forth effort unless you are totally devoted to that band and alienated from friends/ family.
Typically those start out with ocassional practice..turning into 5 nights and every weekend...and how dare you skip practice for weddings or funerals or other family get togethers..BAND FIRST.
When this happens in a band RUN..RUN AWAY QUICKLY..
Otherwise in a more 'rational' environment'..If it is considered unprofessional for wives/ girlfriends to be a practice..then professional means band is making $$..otherwise band practice..in no more than a hobby.
My experience has been that band practice has nearly always been at someone's house/ basement. Hosts family is there anyhow..maybe not in practice space but if hosts family is welcome..[unless band rents a space] then my wife and everyone elses should be welcomed as well...MY OPINION.
Typically I believe after initial intros and a few practices.. it would be rather boring for any spouse, girlfriend..whatever. Same tunes..night after night..week after week.. they will find something else to do eventually. Even attending shows/ gigs if you frequently play-out.. will be BORING for the spouse eventually.
Unless I am making big bucks and band is under management policies....don't tell me my wife isn't welcomed..
I have quit many bands which in my opinion was no more than a musical method of avoiding family...an alternative to golf...
Also I NEVER want to join another band which is so demanding as to make you feel that you are not putting forth effort unless you are totally devoted to that band and alienated from friends/ family.
Typically those start out with ocassional practice..turning into 5 nights and every weekend...and how dare you skip practice for weddings or funerals or other family get togethers..BAND FIRST.
When this happens in a band RUN..RUN AWAY QUICKLY..
Otherwise in a more 'rational' environment'..If it is considered unprofessional for wives/ girlfriends to be a practice..then professional means band is making $$..otherwise band practice..in no more than a hobby.
Haha - funny stuff, folks. Still waiting for any stories from the female side.
Former keyboardist would occasionally bring his gf or sometimes his wife (never both at the same time!).
Needless to say, he was distracted.
We don't have a rule per se, but our wives are truly NOT interested in going to rehearsals. They'll go to a gig, maybe, but not rehearsals. My wife recently attended one because we were going to continue on from there to a family event out of state. She said, "NEVER again!" LOL
Former keyboardist would occasionally bring his gf or sometimes his wife (never both at the same time!).
Needless to say, he was distracted.We don't have a rule per se, but our wives are truly NOT interested in going to rehearsals. They'll go to a gig, maybe, but not rehearsals. My wife recently attended one because we were going to continue on from there to a family event out of state. She said, "NEVER again!" LOL
Had a guy audition for our band last week, and he brought his girlfriend along with...without asking. I wasn't exactly thrilled. She sat quietly though and played with her smartphone.
Overall I'm not a fan of guests at practice. An old band I was in would often have random people hanging out all the time during practice, and it always turned into a mini-show/drinking-fest rather than a serious practice.
The worst is kids at practice...the parent can't really focus because they need to make sure the kid is OK and behaving. Not appropriate.
Overall I'm not a fan of guests at practice. An old band I was in would often have random people hanging out all the time during practice, and it always turned into a mini-show/drinking-fest rather than a serious practice.
The worst is kids at practice...the parent can't really focus because they need to make sure the kid is OK and behaving. Not appropriate.
Of course, I'd be in big trouble if I allowed my girlfriend to come to practice. We practice at my house, and my wife of 32 years would probably not be down with that scene.
When our new singer auditioned for us, he brought his wife with him. That was fine with us, it can be intimidating to try to fit into a group that's played together for years. He probably just wanted somebody in his corner.
Generally though, it's frowned upon. Girlfriends get bored, and need entertained.
Generally though, it's frowned upon. Girlfriends get bored, and need entertained.
It's not about who is welcome or not it is about distractions.
Rehearsal time is at a premium (well mine is anyway YMMV) and I have yet to be at a rehearsal where an outsider, be it friend, child, wife, gf, husband, or boyfriend can sit through 3 or 4 hours and not get bored.
Whoever they came with is then distracted which results in a shifting of focus from rehearsing and all progress halts.
I play in an (occasional) Irish band with a female singer. Her new partner wanted to come and check out just what went on at a rehearsal. He stayed to watch for 10 minutes, got bored and went and sat in his car and read his newspaper then had a sleep. He only came the once, said it was totally boring and a complete waste of his Sunday afternoon. I could have told him that but he didn't ask.
