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Rant - crazy mom
- Thread starter Alex
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Now you know to keep the lines of communication open with your mother. When the incident with the calculator happened last week, you should have come home and talked to her about it. If she knew earlier in the year that you were having problems with this teacher, she could have helped.
On a side note, I did kind of the same thing to my kids six years ago. We moved into a new house, so my wife and I told our kids to keep their new rooms clean all the time. After repeated warnings, they would not do so. I left a note on the counter one morning that I was taking everything on the floor in their rooms to the dump when I got home. I got home to find plenty of things on their floors. Off to the dump I went.
-Mike
On a side note, I did kind of the same thing to my kids six years ago. We moved into a new house, so my wife and I told our kids to keep their new rooms clean all the time. After repeated warnings, they would not do so. I left a note on the counter one morning that I was taking everything on the floor in their rooms to the dump when I got home. I got home to find plenty of things on their floors. Off to the dump I went.
-Mike
MJ5150 said:
As long as you know your kids had a chance to read the note and act, that's completely fair.
As a musician, I feel for 'ya .... nobody wants to see their gear disappear.
As a father/parent, I seriously suspect that there is a great deal more to this scenario than has been posted here. Probably a fairly long history of problems/issues that happened prior, with this just being the final straw. Kids have the natural tendancy to focus on the immediate, parents have the natural tendancy to view things as a composite total. Of course, there is the possibility that your Mom is out of control, but if you contacted your Dad and he agreed with her decision, I'd almost have to believe that there are other greater issues at hand. Unless they're both nuts ....
Seriously, this is an extreme disciplinary action and you should try really hard to talk with your parents before things get way more out of hand .......
As a father/parent, I seriously suspect that there is a great deal more to this scenario than has been posted here. Probably a fairly long history of problems/issues that happened prior, with this just being the final straw. Kids have the natural tendancy to focus on the immediate, parents have the natural tendancy to view things as a composite total. Of course, there is the possibility that your Mom is out of control, but if you contacted your Dad and he agreed with her decision, I'd almost have to believe that there are other greater issues at hand. Unless they're both nuts ....
Seriously, this is an extreme disciplinary action and you should try really hard to talk with your parents before things get way more out of hand .......
Alex said:
Look at what your mom was willing to do, to get your attention... If she's going to take his word over yours, you might want to start giving a crap.
This is funny to me, because kids always think teachers are there to screw them. In fact, teachers are there to show kids how to grow up.
I'd be VERY interested in hearing BOTH sides on this story.
If this were to happen to me when I was a teenager, I'd call the store up and tell them the gear was stolen.
She shouldn't have touched your gear. Especially when you've paid for it. It's a respect thing. I think your mother crossed the line. Yes, yes, you'll get the "you live under my roof" rant, and such, which is all and fair, but if you were to take something of her's and sell it, THAT would be wrong - so why a double standard? Because you live at home? If I lived with a g/f who was paying my rent for the time, and we had an arguement, would that give her the right to jump into my car, drive down the block at sell it at the local lot? I don't think so.
She shouldn't have touched your gear. Especially when you've paid for it. It's a respect thing. I think your mother crossed the line. Yes, yes, you'll get the "you live under my roof" rant, and such, which is all and fair, but if you were to take something of her's and sell it, THAT would be wrong - so why a double standard? Because you live at home? If I lived with a g/f who was paying my rent for the time, and we had an arguement, would that give her the right to jump into my car, drive down the block at sell it at the local lot? I don't think so.
bigfatbass
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- Jun 30, 2003
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- Endorsing Artist: Karl Hoyt Basses
Your mom's need to be cryptic and not hear your side, coupled with the fact that she thinks it's a good idea to burn 5-600 dollars just to make a point, are symptoms of far bigger problems than you are describing here, especially for a 4.0 student.
LEt me get this straight: In a class with a teacher you have problems with you show up unprepared for a test with no calculator. To rectify this, you swipe one off the desk of someone who has momentarily left. Then instead of coming clean when the person comes back, you just keep it and take the test. To cap off this onslaught of stupidity, you then slide said calculator accross the floor in full sight/sound of the room. You then get bitched out and have to go to the Dean because you've been accused of stealing, but instead of getting your "friend" to help out and back up your story, you do nothing. Not even a warning to your Mom that the Dean will be calling and here is why.
Hello? McFly? (mutter this like a mantra and poke yourself in the forehead repeatedly)
While you may not have deserved the irrational behavior and punishment, I have a hard time believing someone so flippant and clueless in the classroom could achieve a 4.0 and maintain it. If it's true, then is the only time you apply your brain when you do your homework?
Sorry to harsh your mellow, I really feel for your lost gear. I would have killed for a rig like that at your age, but DUDE! What the figgity-fugg were you THINKING?!?!
Please tell us, what exactly did you expect to have happen when you plopped the filched calculator on the floor in a dead silent room during a test?
Side note: When I was your age calculators for a test were considered cheating unless you were doing Trig, lol.
LEt me get this straight: In a class with a teacher you have problems with you show up unprepared for a test with no calculator. To rectify this, you swipe one off the desk of someone who has momentarily left. Then instead of coming clean when the person comes back, you just keep it and take the test. To cap off this onslaught of stupidity, you then slide said calculator accross the floor in full sight/sound of the room. You then get bitched out and have to go to the Dean because you've been accused of stealing, but instead of getting your "friend" to help out and back up your story, you do nothing. Not even a warning to your Mom that the Dean will be calling and here is why.
Hello? McFly? (mutter this like a mantra and poke yourself in the forehead repeatedly)
While you may not have deserved the irrational behavior and punishment, I have a hard time believing someone so flippant and clueless in the classroom could achieve a 4.0 and maintain it. If it's true, then is the only time you apply your brain when you do your homework?
Sorry to harsh your mellow, I really feel for your lost gear. I would have killed for a rig like that at your age, but DUDE! What the figgity-fugg were you THINKING?!?!
Please tell us, what exactly did you expect to have happen when you plopped the filched calculator on the floor in a dead silent room during a test?
Side note: When I was your age calculators for a test were considered cheating unless you were doing Trig, lol.
.matthew e wengerd. said:
Oh yeah. I put the note on the kitchen counter before I left for work. At the time, my kids got up later than I did, so I was always gone before they even woke up. The only way they would have missed the note was if they didn't go into the kitchen that morning. No chance of that. While they were super mad at me for ditching their stuff, they knew they messed up.
-Mike
It seems dumb now, but I didn't think that I had done anything wrong. I am going to get my friend to back up the story, and then talk to the teacher. I think that it was mostly misinterpretation.bigfatbass said:
Oh, and to back up my awesome kid resume, I'm also class president and on JV volleyball freshman year, along with being on jazz band. I'm not a bad kid!
And to the people who say that this was a culmination of an ongoing problem in this class - it wasn't! He hasn't had to say anything to me all year!
well alex, look at what you did...you took your friend's calculator without his permission...you could have given it back to him if you wanted to...granted your mom took drastic measures, but you did take your friend's calculator without asking, which i would suppose would be against school rules...of course, you never know what the rules are in a public schoolAlex said:Alright I got the info through my dad (who is calmer and more sane).
This is basically what he said the teacher told my mom: (this happened last week btw, she got the call today)
"We had a math test and Alex didn't bring a calculator (note: not really a big deal since it is geometry)In the middle of the test, a student got up to ask me a question, and Alex stole his calculator off his desk. the student came up to me and told me that his caculator had dissappeared. I let him borrow one of mine.
Near the end of class, Alex finished his test early. When he got back to his seat after turning in his test, he slid the calculator up to the kid that it belonged to. That's when I realized that he had stolen the calculator. I gave him a dean's referral and he got a 30 minute detention."
What actually happened:
I show up to class with a few minutes left in passing period. True, I forgot my calculator. My friend Andrew is sharpening his pencil, and left his calculator on his desk. I grab it off his desk to see if he would notice if it was gone (common practice, am I right?) He looks around and decides that he lost it. Before I can stop him, he goes up to the teacher and asks to borrow one of his calculators. The teacher lends him one. I think to myself, "well, too late now. I'll give it back to him later. And hey, look at that, a calculator for the test. w00t."
I finish the test early and slide the calculator on the floor up to him (he sits about 2 seats in front of me on the left) he looks down and sees it, then looks at me. I wink at him and he give me a"ya got me" face. The slide on the floor is kinda loud, so the teacher looks up from the desk and sees the calculator on the floor. He calls me up to his desk and says "did you take Andrew's calculator?" and I'm like "well..." He then writes me a dean's referral
confused: this is where him hating me comes in). I go down to the deans office, and he gives me the minimum requirement for getting a referral - a 30 minute detention.
THAT'S IT!
I swear to god I am not lying. I cannot believe what is happening.
Oh and btw I didn't know that she was selling it when I brought it out into the car.
...if you were a teacher and saw some kid steal another kid's calculator, what would you do?ps...calculators in geometry?
Your mom we'll be sorry when she's 60 and wants to see her grandkids, and you're like, "oh, remember my half stack you sold... i can't trust you around children"
Seriously, this is the most outrageous thing I've heard in long time. A 4.0 class president athletic musician is being treated like this, you'll be out of there soon and it sounds like you have ambition, so you have nothing to worry about.
Trust is a powerful word, I agree you have to let her know you now have none in her. Or at least that I don't have any trust in her (though my not having trust in your mom might not help much). You may just want to have her read this thread as well. She may get the point.
Seriously, this is the most outrageous thing I've heard in long time. A 4.0 class president athletic musician is being treated like this, you'll be out of there soon and it sounds like you have ambition, so you have nothing to worry about.
Trust is a powerful word, I agree you have to let her know you now have none in her. Or at least that I don't have any trust in her (though my not having trust in your mom might not help much). You may just want to have her read this thread as well. She may get the point.
Either there is more to this story, or your mom is crazy. If you bought the gear with money that you earned outside of the house, then she had little right to do what she did. However, if they GAVE you the money, then she was within her rights.
Are you 100% sure she sold the gear? Sometimes parents lie, too.
BTW, the calculator thing was pretty stupid on your part. Save the practical jokes for after school.
Are you 100% sure she sold the gear? Sometimes parents lie, too.
BTW, the calculator thing was pretty stupid on your part. Save the practical jokes for after school.
Nope, I earned the money umpiring at the local llittle league.guy n. cognito said:
Guarantee you she sold the gear. I called GC to try and stop her, but to no avail.
The calculator thing was stupid, but did not really warrant any type of punishment like this.
I still remain hopeful that this will all be solved.
Well, you can do one of two things.
You can call up the manager at GC and tell him
that the property did not belong to her, and that you will
be sending him a claim in writing on the merchandise as
he bought it from someone that didn't own it. I.E. you can
push the point. He will want his money back.
OR
You can take your lumps and move on.
You decide, because I don't care, or rather, care to.
It should be a good exercise in judgement for you.
You can call up the manager at GC and tell him
that the property did not belong to her, and that you will
be sending him a claim in writing on the merchandise as
he bought it from someone that didn't own it. I.E. you can
push the point. He will want his money back.
OR
You can take your lumps and move on.
You decide, because I don't care, or rather, care to.
It should be a good exercise in judgement for you.
Two things:
-Are you sure your mom is ok? Is there tension between her and your dad? In the workplace? Her extended family? It's possible she is in a very bad place for something completely unrelated and is taking it out on you. See if you can calm her down and have a heart to heart, not mentioning the gear. Just talk and find out if something is bothering her.
-Be wary about trusting her from now on. Unless you are overlooking some glaring detail, then she has crossed a line. Continue to be on guard at least until you're out of the house, if not longer. Doing it in the long run will make a much stronger point. If she sees the connection between going too far, and losing a good relationship for months/years (years is maybe a but much, it's your call) with her son, I guarantee she will ease up in order to try and earn and keep your trust.
In the end, when everyone has cooled down and the full situation is known, she must understand that she has done something wrong. That is the only way to make things better for the future.
and yes, what you did was extremely boneheaded. Extremely.
-Are you sure your mom is ok? Is there tension between her and your dad? In the workplace? Her extended family? It's possible she is in a very bad place for something completely unrelated and is taking it out on you. See if you can calm her down and have a heart to heart, not mentioning the gear. Just talk and find out if something is bothering her.
-Be wary about trusting her from now on. Unless you are overlooking some glaring detail, then she has crossed a line. Continue to be on guard at least until you're out of the house, if not longer. Doing it in the long run will make a much stronger point. If she sees the connection between going too far, and losing a good relationship for months/years (years is maybe a but much, it's your call) with her son, I guarantee she will ease up in order to try and earn and keep your trust.
In the end, when everyone has cooled down and the full situation is known, she must understand that she has done something wrong. That is the only way to make things better for the future.
and yes, what you did was extremely boneheaded. Extremely.
superbassman2000 said:
No wonder the kid's got a 4.0 GPA.
p.s. Your mom is nutz. With a z. Call up the Qintar and have him fix this whole thing up.
There's some great advice here, and Alex PLEASE (it sounds like you already are) ignore my advice about taking her jewelry to the pawn shop. You're right in saying that retaliation is not a good way to deal with the situation. I hope everything gets resolved sometime soon.
-Alex
p.s. Yes, we high schoolers do use calculators in geometry sometimes these days. I think geometry is taught much differently than it was for a lot of you older folk. At least in my class, our teacher introduced trig towards the beginning of the year and we've been using it to solve problems ever since. I haven't met too many people who can do trig in their head, or let alone with pencil and paper.
-Alex
p.s. Yes, we high schoolers do use calculators in geometry sometimes these days. I think geometry is taught much differently than it was for a lot of you older folk. At least in my class, our teacher introduced trig towards the beginning of the year and we've been using it to solve problems ever since. I haven't met too many people who can do trig in their head, or let alone with pencil and paper.
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