• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Rant - crazy mom

Status
Not open for further replies.
#81
Taking a calculator from a bud with no malicious intent is not a reason to overreact in such a manner.

I'd seriously look into moving in with a friend for a bit. If you don't have anyone who will take you in at the monet, start looking around. I know when I was in high school and having trouble with my parents, I had tons of friends and their parents who always let me know that I could crash at their place if need be.

I'm not totally saying move out, I'm saying give your mom the cold shoulder. Let her think about what she's done alone at the dinner table for a couple of weeks.
 
#82
Ok, I am going to say this one more time.

Get counseling. Tell you mom you want her to take you to a counselor. If she says no, go to the counselor at school. Selling your gear that you bought is not a *normal* way to deal with issues like these. It is psychological abuse. If you retaliate or just let it go, it will get worse. Trust me.
 
#83
A few points:

1) You're not giving us the whole story. Don't take that the way it sounds. I'm taking an Interview and Interrogation class for my Criminal Justice degree, and I can see that there are details that are missing. I don't want to get into what details, or why they are missing, because that involves me making assumptions, and that's a bad idea.

2) Did YOU buy the amps from GC? If it's in your name, and you can document the funds transfer from your account to hers for the purchase, SHE HAS NO LEGAL RIGHT TO DO WHAT SHE DID. While she may be your legal guardian with the rights and privliges that that entails, she does not own YOUR property. Therefore, she cannot do what she did. Go down to the GC with your bank statements. I assume that your GC operates like mine, where anything bought in from the street has to remain in a back room for 30 days in case it's claimed to be stolen, so they won't be sold to anyone else for a month.

3) Talk to a cop. Don't do this in an official capacity. Don't go down and open a case against her. Just tell him the story as you see fit, and ask him if you have the legal ground to get your amps back. While I'm pretty sure about them still being your property, because you are underage it might be hard for you to get them back. So talk to the cop. He might also have some suggestions for you. If he (or she) is on your side enough, you might be able to convince them to come talk to your mom. If they are willing to do that, make sure that they do so OFF DUTY. If they go on duty, it all gets logged, at which point it would be very likely that your mom would go to jail for theft. That would not help things at this point, only make them worse. This would ruin whatever vestages of a family you now have. But if the officer is off duty and shows up in an advisory role, instead of an enforcement role, it might help your mom see that what she did was wrong.

4) Talk to your school counselor. They are (supposedly) good people who are on your side. They might be able to sort out whatever difference of opinion you are having with your teacher.

Personally, I'm not a violent person. My family is fairly nice, and I was never abused or even hit by my mom or dad. Spanked, yes, but that's different. Having said that, if my mom did that to me, well, I'm not sure if I could keep from being violent towards her. EVERYONE who knows me knows that you ask before you touch my music gear. I'm a generous person with just about every aspect of my life, money, food, car rides, my time and effort, etc, but NOT with my music. If my mom and come home and told me what she did, I probably would have laid her out. I'm not saying that you should do that, I'm saying that just how angry I get thinking about it makes me realize how bad the situation would be.

Rock on
Eric
 
#85
WOW! I am amazed at the folks who are posting in here about your legal rights, and how you may have some legal ground to stand on to prosecute your mom.

Can you people just stop for a minute? This is a freakin' family here. Why in the world do you people want to drag legal elements into a dispute between a mother and her son when the son is living in the home with his mother. Wow, I just can't believe what things have come to nowadays, amazing. My dad spanked me when I was bad, my parents took toys from me when I did something wrong. I was disciplined when I acted stupid.

I NEVER, EVER once thought about obtaining legal counsel in those situations. If I had, my dad would have handed me a suitcase of my things and asked me to leave.

-Mike
 
#86
Eric Cameron said:
A few points:

1) You're not giving us the whole story. Don't take that the way it sounds. I'm taking an Interview and Interrogation class for my Criminal Justice degree, and I can see that there are details that are missing. I don't want to get into what details, or why they are missing, because that involves me making assumptions, and that's a bad idea.
Click to expand...

I agree there is probably something missing

Eric Cameron said:
2) Did YOU buy the amps from GC? If it's in your name, and you can document the funds transfer from your account to hers for the purchase, SHE HAS NO LEGAL RIGHT TO DO WHAT SHE DID. While she may be your legal guardian with the rights and privliges that that entails, she does not own YOUR property. Therefore, she cannot do what she did. Go down to the GC with your bank statements. I assume that your GC operates like mine, where anything bought in from the street has to remain in a back room for 30 days in case it's claimed to be stolen, so they won't be sold to anyone else for a month.
Click to expand...

He's a juvenile. He doesn't have any property. Mom did nothing illegal (even if it was a bit whacky)


Eric Cameron said:
3) Talk to a cop. Don't do this in an official capacity. Don't go down and open a case against her. Just tell him the story as you see fit, and ask him if you have the legal ground to get your amps back. While I'm pretty sure about them still being your property, because you are underage it might be hard for you to get them back. So talk to the cop. He might also have some suggestions for you. If he (or she) is on your side enough, you might be able to convince them to come talk to your mom. If they are willing to do that, make sure that they do so OFF DUTY. If they go on duty, it all gets logged, at which point it would be very likely that your mom would go to jail for theft. That would not help things at this point, only make them worse. This would ruin whatever vestages of a family you now have. But if the officer is off duty and shows up in an advisory role, instead of an enforcement role, it might help your mom see that what she did was wrong.
Click to expand...

Cops cannot give legal advice. They are not lawyers. Cops are also not social workers, and any cop that gets involved in a case "off duty" is absolutely insane and probably will not be a cop much longer.

Eric Cameron said:
4) Talk to your school counselor. They are (supposedly) good people who are on your side. They might be able to sort out whatever difference of opinion you are having with your teacher.
Click to expand...

Very good suggestion.

Eric Cameron said:
Personally, I'm not a violent person. My family is fairly nice, and I was never abused or even hit by my mom or dad. Spanked, yes, but that's different. Having said that, if my mom did that to me, well, I'm not sure if I could keep from being violent towards her. EVERYONE who knows me knows that you ask before you touch my music gear. I'm a generous person with just about every aspect of my life, money, food, car rides, my time and effort, etc, but NOT with my music. If my mom and come home and told me what she did, I probably would have laid her out. I'm not saying that you should do that, I'm saying that just how angry I get thinking about it makes me realize how bad the situation would be.

Rock on
Eric
Click to expand...

Probably not a good idea in any circumstance to "lay out" your Mom, but at least a little understandable.
 
#88
cheezewiz said:
I agree there is probably something missing



He's a juvenile. He doesn't have any property. Mom did nothing illegal (even if it was a bit whacky)
Click to expand...
What don't you guy's get about this. Yeah it sounds totally wrong, but it's just like minors can't enter into contracts, there is no legal recourse against them. You have to go after the parents. The system may not be perfect, but I don't believe he has any recourse against her.
My kid went to Juvenile Hall, I had to pay for her upkeep while she was there, and it wasn't cheap. Till your 18 you have no rights, property or otherwise. Except what Child Protective Services says. Do you really want to go that route?
 
#89
MJ5150 said:
WOW! I am amazed at the folks who are posting in here about your legal rights, and how you may have some legal ground to stand on to prosecute your mom.

Can you people just stop for a minute? This is a freakin' family here. Why in the world do you people want to drag legal elements into a dispute between a mother and her son when the son is living in the home with his mother. Wow, I just can't believe what things have come to nowadays, amazing. My dad spanked me when I was bad, my parents took toys from me when I did something wrong. I was disciplined when I acted stupid.

I NEVER, EVER once thought about obtaining legal counsel in those situations. If I had, my dad would have handed me a suitcase of my things and asked me to leave.

-Mike
Click to expand...
I'm with mike on this one. I think you guys might be overreacting. I have a great family. I love them all. They love me back. My mom just did something completely idiotic. I'm trying to fix it.

She still won't talk to me, though. :hmm: From what my dad has told me (he's not really mad at me, he just supports my mom to stay out of the doghouse when stuff like this happens) most of what my mom is angry about is that now I have a detention on my permanent record. Colleges don't like that too much. In the end, I realize that they just want what's best for me, they are just bad at doing that. :D :hmm:

On a good note: I talked to my friend Andrew (whose calculator I took) and he said he will talk to the teacher with me and back me up. Hopefully, then, he will call my mom and set the record straight. Maybe the detention will be repealed from my record (possible?) My mom will realize how friggin ******** she was, and she'll either go back and get my gear, or buy me a new rig of equal value. Gotta hope this all works out like this.

And also - good or bad idea to show her this thread to make her realize how incredibly incompetently unimaginably insanely irrational she was being?
 
#91
SomecallmeTim said:
Just to reassure you, if your grades are really as good as you say they are and you pull down something decent on the SATs, you're going to be able to get into a good school with or without detention on your record. Especially if it's just this one incident.
Click to expand...
Yeah, but top schools are so selective. You slip up once they throw your application away. I mean, sure I could get into a good college with a detention, but is Duke or Northwestern gonna accept someone with a detention on their record. Maybe, but it slims down your chances. I know I am being paranoid, but I actually care about my future. My parents don't get that. I understand their point, they don't need to sell my gear to get my attention.
 
#92
Alex said:
And also - good or bad idea to show her this thread to make her realize how incredibly incompetently unimaginably insanely irrational she was being?
Click to expand...

Probably not a good idea to show her this thread with all the posts that say she is a Nut Case.
 
#94
First and foremost, it doesn't sound like ANY of you have any idea what "abuse" actually is.

Secondly, I agree, there HAS to be more to the story than what you're telling. First off, you stated she wouldn't even tell you what you did, yet she was mad enough to do something like sell your amp. Secondly, your dad agreed with your mom about the deal, either they are both equally nuts, or once again there is a slight bit more to the story.

Either way, it is NOT worth splitting up the family and making a huge problem out of losing some property, no matter how bad of an idea her ways of punishment were....period. Don't even THINK about any kind of revenge, you will NOT win. If you think a detention looks bad, pick up some kind of criminal record and see what it does for you.

Lastly, if your parents refuse to even talk to you about this (this also either sounds either a bit insane, or a stretch from the truth), you need to get outside help involved like someone else suggested. Go talk to your school guidance counselor, explain the situation, and see if they could get involved as a mediator with yourself, and your parents. If you're telling us 100% of the truth and ALL the story, there isn't a parent alive that wouldn't agree their kid got screwed and wouldn't go to bat for them, especially if they think there could be some long term damage over such a minor misunderstanding.

If you get (and you should easily) that far and get an understanding with the counselor and parents, take the case to the principal or administrator explaining the misunderstanding, reiterate that you are a 4.0 student worried about marks against college admissions, and you will do your best to not make a similar mistake again.

It seems to me, all of this could be made into a clean wash for an explanation, apology, and promise of perfect behavior if YOU take the proper steps to do so.

AFTER you get all of this straightened out, there still may be hope on getting your rig back. I heard a while back that GC works under the same fashin as pawn shops are required to....all used gear either sold to them, or traded in must be held 30 days in case it shows up on a police report as stolen. Explain the situation, they might be obligated to return your gear to your MOTHER if you go pay the dough back.

So instead of making threads complaining about it, I suggest you use your energies to try to rectify the situation the proper way.

Best of luck, and let us know how it turns out.
 
#96
Alex said:
Yeah, but top schools are so selective. You slip up once they throw your application away. I mean, sure I could get into a good college with a detention, but is Duke or Northwestern gonna accept someone with a detention on their record. Maybe, but it slims down your chances. I know I am being paranoid, but I actually care about my future. My parents don't get that. I understand their point, they don't need to sell my gear to get my attention.
Click to expand...

"Top" schools are overrated.
 
#97
Dude, if your worried about getting into a good shcool you'll have no problem. With a 4.0 and the SAT scores I'd expect a student like you to have, I'd tend to think that you'll have the choice of about any school in the country, regardless of a single detention.
 
#98
Tim Cole said:
Secondly, I agree, there HAS to be more to the story than what you're telling. First off, you stated she wouldn't even tell you what you did, yet she was mad enough to do something like sell your amp. Secondly, your dad agreed with your mom about the deal, either they are both equally nuts, or once again there is a slight bit more to the story.
Click to expand...
I guarantee you that there is no more to the story than what I have told you as far as my mom's phase of insanity.

As far as my dad agreeing to it, I answered this above:
Alex said:
[my dad] is not really mad at me, he just supports my mom to stay out of the doghouse when stuff like this happens.
Click to expand...
I wish that there was more to the story. I wish that I did something to deserve this. Every time I see my mom I feel like I have done something irreparable to her, then I realize that something irreparable has been done to me. I'm like on the verge of going emo ;)

You guys don't need to reply, I just need to vent. (btw is this the first ever rant thread to get this long without being closed?)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back