Reasons for cancelling Band Practice.

[Andy Marshman]

I think common sense should come into play. As a dog lover, I give a pass to that person. I've been there, and went to work on a night shift right after. That was awful.
I missed two practices in the last 20 years. One was due to flu, the other a dental appointment to fix a broken tooth (a front tooth, so didn't want to wait for a later appointment). I didn't cancel the practice for either one at the last minute. That's a point nobody's talking about. Being a no-show is bad in my opinion. Too many lame excuses is a red flag.

 

[Biggbass]

Bnother vote for dogs. Mine are family members. And family comes before band.

 

[groovaholic]

COVID exposure has been the most common reason to cancel lately, and I appreciate that my bandmates prefer postponing a rehearsal to exposing their bandmates (and thus bandmates' family) to the virus.

As others have said; we aren't prepping to play Woodstock, Wembley, Live Aid or any other "once in a lifetime" gig.

These are small, fun gigs at local dives for beer money - rehearsing for those gigs does not outweigh family and career commitments.

 

[LBS-bass]

I am just coming out of 2 years with a 7 piece cover band that wanted to rehearse weekly for gigs that happened about twice a month. Someone would miss almost every week. But if I (bass player) had to miss then the leader would just cancel practice. I’m glad that’s over…LOL

Gah, I was in that same band and juggling four other bands at the same time. "You're the glue, we can't practice without you."

"No, I'm not, and you can, and I'm not going to be the only person in the band who can't have a night off, sorry."

 

[kesslari]

COVID exposure has been the most common reason to cancel lately, and I appreciate that my bandmates prefer postponing a rehearsal to exposing their bandmates (and thus bandmates' family) to the virus.

As others have said; we aren't prepping to play Woodstock, Wembley, Live Aid or any other "once in a lifetime" gig.

These are small, fun gigs at local dives for beer money - rehearsing for those gigs does not outweigh family and career commitments.

Every musician I have (and likely ever will) play with comes with assets and liabilities. Assets include skills, transportation, good social skills, etc. Liabilities include health/illness, ego, personal habits, unreliable gear, availability, etc.

Know what you bring to the table and be as clear as you can about it, and about what you expect from others in that situation.
For me, I bring a certain level of skill and ability along with a decent hang, and I will prep hard and do my homework. I have very limited availability. If you want what I bring, you take me as I am, with my availability (which I'm clear about up front). If you need someone more available, go for it, no harm no foul.
"Love me, love my dog" which is remarkably appropriate in this conversation.

In fact, if a conversation started with
"Man, I'm really sorry, my dog was just killed, family and I are pretty freaked out, I'm going to skip rehearsal" and it was met with
"Duuude, you're really gonna miss REHEARSAL for THAT?" in any shape or form...
then the conversation would continue
"Yes. And good luck with your future endeavors with the band. I'm out."

 

[LBS-bass]

Every musician I have (and likely ever will) play with comes with assets and liabilities. Assets include skills, transportation, good social skills, etc. Liabilities include health/illness, ego, personal habits, unreliable gear, availability, etc.

Know what you bring to the table and be as clear as you can about it, and about what you expect from others in that situation.
For me, I bring a certain level of skill and ability along with a decent hang, and I will prep hard and do my homework. I have very limited availability. If you want what I bring, you take me as I am, with my availability (which I'm clear about up front). If you need someone more available, go for it, no harm no foul.
"Love me, love my dog" which is remarkably appropriate in this conversation.

In fact, if a conversation started with
"Man, I'm really sorry, my dog was just killed, family and I are pretty freaked out, I'm going to skip rehearsal" and it was met with
"Duuude, you're really gonna miss REHEARSAL for THAT?" in any shape or form...
then the conversation would continue
"Yes. And good luck with your future endeavors with the band. I'm out."

Yes to all of this, in a nutshell. I'll move heaven and earth to be there, within reasonable parameters, but I don't have unlimited free time to be kicked around from one night to the next.

The band I just mentioned where I was "the glue" was the same band with the two moms who always had a sick kid at home. Two of the male members were frequently unavailable on our agreed upon night (Tuesday) due to work travel and wanted to reschedule to different nights.

I had other bands rehearsing on every other night, but I'd do what I could to move things around and my other bands were mostly pretty cool about it. I remember one week when no single band was rehearsing on their agreed-upon night because of this band. I'd had to shuffle four other bands around (at least 20 people's schedules).

Anyway, I took on a sub gig and their practice night was the same as this band, and inflexible. I knew all the first band's material well, they had no gig on the books, and I told them I needed this other show to play through since there was a gig on the books there. Suddenly it was the end of the world that a player couldn't be there. Every single person in that band had taken significant time off for their work or their kids, but when I needed time for my work, it was a crisis because they just couldn't do it without me.

There were so many reasons to leave that band, this was just icing on a cake that had already been out in the rain for way too long.

 

[51PRI]

For my last 400 jazz gigs, I think we may have had 3 total practices.

Covers with charts?

We have lost a month of rehearsals because 2 fully vaxed and boosted members contracted covid.

Having covid is a good reason to stay home in my opinion.

While I do try to be a "man of my word", my priorities list comes first. Sure, I'll accept an invitation to your cat's birthday cookout. But, if my father calls between now and then and says "We haven't spent any time together lately. Let's go fishing." I'm not going to say "Can't Dad. I already RSVPed to the cat cookout thing."

I think this is where your singer is. Sure, she booked practice. But then she woke up that morning and took a look at her daughter that's growing up right before her eyes and realized two things.

1) These moments are fleeting. Take advantage of them when you can.
2) It's sunny and 75 degrees at the beach. Perfect.

So, while you might see it as being a flake, she sees it as an opportunity to seize the day and make a memory with her daughter.....

If that's the case I think she should formally tell the band that other things come first. It's only fair. I mean, they already know it by her actions but she should be open and direct about it.

 

[two fingers]

I think we haven't ever dug deep enough into this whole lots of rehearsals issue. It just kind of dawned on me what's at the root of it.

Most people who want to rehearse a lot (if they're being honest) are NOT stressed about nailing every single note of every song. They just LIKE TO PLAY! They want to get together as often as possible to play music.

And when others don't like our favorite activity as much as we do, it pisses us off. If you're on a softball team....let's say the shortstop for Harold's Tire Shop team.... and you just LOOOOOOOOOVE softball.... and your first baseman just doesn't seem to want to show up for practice..... It's not that you just REEEEEEEALLY want to beat the Stinky's Bar n Grill team. It's that you love to play softball and can't do it without your first baseman.

The same holds true for bands. Many of you guys just really wanna play every single week!

 

[EddiePlaysBass]

I don't give a reason for cancelling, unless it's a same-day cancellation. In the latter case, 90% of the time it's work related.But giving a reason means people WILL argue about it and give their opinion. They're entitled to have one, but I prefer they keep it.

Last time I was in this situation, I asked if we could systematically move the rehearsal time by 15 minutes. Reason being that would give me more time to wash the dishes. Our singer then proceeded to tell me to use a dish washer etc. Thanks, how about you do things your way in your home and I'll do likewise in mine? Drummer really liked that response. Worst part is, the same singer is systematically 15 min late to rehearsal - we never moved the time slot.

 

[EddiePlaysBass]

Additionally, it really depends on the band. Current band (see my post above) doesn't rehearse often BUT we also hardly add new songs. Every time it seems we do less and less. So my enthusiasm for rehearsals (or just guy's night out) has dramatically decreased. I won't make excuses to not show up, but I won't exactly prioritise rehearsal either.

 

[gln1955]

I think we haven't ever dug deep enough into this whole lots of rehearsals issue. It just kind of dawned on me what's at the root of it.

Most people who want to rehearse a lot (if they're being honest) are NOT stressed about nailing every single note of every song. They just LIKE TO PLAY! They want to get together as often as possible to play music.

And when others don't like our favorite activity as much as we do, it pisses us off. If you're on a softball team....let's say the shortstop for Harold's Tire Shop team.... and you just LOOOOOOOOOVE softball.... and your first baseman just doesn't seem to want to show up for practice..... It's not that you just REEEEEEEALLY want to beat the Stinky's Bar n Grill team. It's that you love to play softball and can't do it without your first baseman.

The same holds true for bands. Many of you guys just really wanna play every single week!

I've always been one of those who just want to play and if our rehearsal was cancelled I was not mad, but disappointed. I'm finally in a band that plays out nearly every week so that itch is scratched and regular rehearsal is not a thing any more. I'm good with just getting together on a week we don't play out to try new songs.

 

[hrodbert696]

What are acceptable reasons for missing band practice? Is "my dog got killed" an acceptable reason? I guess it is. Just wanting your thoughts.

Dog got killed, yes I get missing practice. But one band I was in fired a drummer, when he canceled because his dog was scared of the thunderstorm going on.

 

[bfields]

Most people who want to rehearse a lot (if they're being honest) are NOT stressed about nailing every single note of every song. They just LIKE TO PLAY! They want to get together as often as possible to play music.

People do lose sight of the fact that most of us are doing this for the fun!

That said, the fun for me is in learning new stuff and playing better this year than I did the last. Fewer, more goal-oriented rehearsals scratch that itch better for me.

 

[LBS-bass]

People do lose sight of the fact that most of us are doing this for the fun!

That said, the fun for me is in learning new stuff and playing better this year than I did the last. Fewer, more goal-oriented rehearsals scratch that itch better for me.

Same. And some of us have plenty of opportunity to play because we play with several bands, so then it comes down to whether or not I'm juggling commitments because someone else cannot handle theirs.

Bottom line for me is that you're as good as your word. If you say you're going to be somewhere, make a reasonable effort to do this.

What happened to me this week (just this week's example of many I could trot out) was a drummer who agreed to a rehearsal on Memorial Day, was reminded (by me) that this was Memorial Day on the day he agreed, and yet still decided at the last minute that hanging with his family was his priority.

OK, I get family being priority, but you freaking KNEW this was a holiday when you agreed to it. I have the screenshot where I reminded everyone.

So, instead, I blocked off MY holiday to accommodate those people (in my rehearsal space) and they bailed at the last minute after being reminded that this was a holiday.

How, exactly, am I supposed to just let that one slide? I could have made plans too, but I didn't, because my word means something.

 

[Xjenrbcjsmsbfjw]

While I do try to be a "man of my word", my priorities list comes first. Sure, I'll accept an invitation to your cat's birthday cookout. But, if my father calls between now and then and says "We haven't spent any time together lately. Let's go fishing." I'm not going to say "Can't Dad. I already RSVPed to the cat cookout thing."

I think this is where your singer is. Sure, she booked practice. But then she woke up that morning and took a look at her daughter that's growing up right before her eyes and realized two things.

1) These moments are fleeting. Take advantage of them when you can.
2) It's sunny and 75 degrees at the beach. Perfect.

So, while you might see it as being a flake, she sees it as an opportunity to seize the day and make a memory with her daughter.

Man, I'm "obligated" to dozens of things every single day. I could help a friend move every single weekend. I could volunteer even more with two organizations I work with. I could be attending SOMEBODY's birthday all the dang time. I accept as many invites as I think I can handle. But, every now and then, I have to politely CANCEL one of those things AFTER I accepted because something more important came up. I'm getting better about saying no to begin with so I don't have to take that second step. But sometimes the moment grabs me and a call and cancel after the fact.

So we could go back and forth over the semantics of whether the band it what's less important to her or "her word". It really doesn't matter. The results are the same.

You're right, I'm not really interested in discussing it with you. You seem to be going out of your way to misinterpret my initial post and the one after. Enjoy the weekend

 

[Michedelic]

My penis fell off.

Only John Bobbitt can use that excuse.

 

[Michael Stanley 2112]

Only John Bobbitt can use that excuse.

Yeah, and Lorena tossed it out the car window 'cause she didn't have the b***s to hang onto it!

 

[TreySonagras]

Gah, I was in that same band and juggling four other bands at the same time. "You're the glue, we can't practice without you."

"No, I'm not, and you can, and I'm not going to be the only person in the band who can't have a night off, sorry."

This right here….

 

[two fingers]

You're right, I'm not really interested in discussing it with you. You seem to be going out of your way to misinterpret my initial post and the one after. Enjoy the weekend

The only thing I was "trying hard" to do was have a conversation. I didn't realize we were arguing. I thought we're just sharing differing experiences/viewpoints.

I ain't mad at you. And I'm on the beach, so, yeah, I'm good!

 

[SteveC]

1) Yes, dead dog is a good reason.
2) Bands rehearse, individuals practice.