Have a honest discussion with all and be prepared to leave. Don't store gear at the rehearsal space, etc.
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Should I bail?
- Thread starter Cloudspine
- Start date
If it were me, I'd have bailed as soon as he booked the studio date without asking for your availability. That shows pretty much where he's at with it. He's the bandleader, so I guess he gets to make decisions about how he want to view the other in the band, and he's treating everyone else like hired guns. So let him hire someone else.
The next step on this will be him asking you to learn his recorded lines so that it "sounds like the record."
The next step on this will be him asking you to learn his recorded lines so that it "sounds like the record."
devnulljp
Supporting Member
If you're just a hired hand and not a band member, you need to get paid the going rate for gigs and rehearsals as a sideman.
Lack of perceived talent is one thing and is debatable. Wanting to record without a polished song (as opposed to "totally nailing some parts") is a white phosphorus flare lighting up the night sky. Be polite and run away.
"Two things: Kevin is fired and I quit."
So, who did he go to the studio with? Is there a drummer?
I would bail yesterday! As LBS said above, him doing that is a direct indication that he considers the band to be HIM and him alone. You and the others in the band are just random space fillers like the nameless henchmen in the old batman tv show.
No way would I remain a member of that band for a second after hearing he did what he did.
I would bail yesterday! As LBS said above, him doing that is a direct indication that he considers the band to be HIM and him alone. You and the others in the band are just random space fillers like the nameless henchmen in the old batman tv show.
No way would I remain a member of that band for a second after hearing he did what he did.
Ah, heck, you were once young too. Let it go. If it persists then bail. Young whippersnappers are fun to play with. Makes me feel young!
Don't carry a load that you don't have to carry. You have two choices IMO:
- quit, although as you say that may leave you with not much else to do; or
- recalibrate your expectations of this BL and group downward and continue. If your revised expectations align closer with reality, there will be much less chance of you being PO'd or disappointed.
Meanwhile, keep looking for a better gig
- quit, although as you say that may leave you with not much else to do; or
- recalibrate your expectations of this BL and group downward and continue. If your revised expectations align closer with reality, there will be much less chance of you being PO'd or disappointed.
Meanwhile, keep looking for a better gig
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Every time I've seen red flags and stuck around, they always proved to be right. I don't know your genre of music, but Iron Maiden said it best... Run to the hills!
Based on my own experiences, and those of others, all bands eventually fall apart for one reason or another. You’ve already found one reason, why wait for another?
Here's the thing. I'll assume you're all adults. You talk to adults like an adult. You DON'T just take all your marbles and go home. Then you're no better than him.
Calmly, but firmly, express to him that what he did was unacceptable and will not be tolerated.
You have NO IDEA how he will react to that.
It could be "Screw you. You're fired." (In which case, the end result is the same. You're out of the band. No big deal.)
Or, on the other end of the spectrum, it could be "Dude, I'm SO SORRY. I just got so excited that I wanted to get these songs done. It won't happen again. Lemme buy you a beer and let's talk about some of your ideas."
Very likely, the truth will be somewhere in between.
But TALK to the guy. Sure, what he did was stupid. But if I kicked to the curb every friend of family member who ever did something stupid to me I would be very lonely. Same goes for me. I need a second chance from time to time.
Be the grown up. It may get you nowhere. But it may get you a continued project with more collaboration and friendship.
Seriously, just quitting makes you no better than him. A grown up conversation is needed here.
Calmly, but firmly, express to him that what he did was unacceptable and will not be tolerated.
You have NO IDEA how he will react to that.
It could be "Screw you. You're fired." (In which case, the end result is the same. You're out of the band. No big deal.)
Or, on the other end of the spectrum, it could be "Dude, I'm SO SORRY. I just got so excited that I wanted to get these songs done. It won't happen again. Lemme buy you a beer and let's talk about some of your ideas."
Very likely, the truth will be somewhere in between.
But TALK to the guy. Sure, what he did was stupid. But if I kicked to the curb every friend of family member who ever did something stupid to me I would be very lonely. Same goes for me. I need a second chance from time to time.
Be the grown up. It may get you nowhere. But it may get you a continued project with more collaboration and friendship.
Seriously, just quitting makes you no better than him. A grown up conversation is needed here.
