"So, three bassists walk into a bar..."

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Sunny Jim, Jul 12, 2017.

  1. "So, three bassists walk into a bar..."
    OK, finish the joke or make a better one.
    "A bassists, a chicken farmer and an IRS agent walk into a bar..."
    Fat Freddy and BBQisgood like this.
  2. Hoochie Coochie Man

    Hoochie Coochie Man Supporting Member

    Jul 14, 2014
    The Chequamegon
    A bassist, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar.

    The bar tender looks at them and says, "What is this? Some kind of a joke?"
  3. dtripoli


    Aug 15, 2010
    Three bass players walked into a bar
    They all ended up on the floor bruised but the bar was uninjured

    Three bass players walked into a bar
    And nobody noticed but the conversations got louder

    Three bass players walked into a bar
    ..sorry, we overbooked
  4. Fat Freddy

    Fat Freddy Supporting Member

    Feb 23, 2016
    Albany NY
    Two bassists and a drummer win the lottery and buy their own bar.....

    Weeks pass and not a single pint is sold.....

    The bassists turn to the drummer and say "We're going to go broke at this rate. Maybe we should shut down the bar and open a brothel instead"....

    Drummer says "Don't be stupid....If we can't sell beer, we'll NEVER sell broth"......

    I know.....I'll get me coat.....:bag:
  5. A bassists, a chicken farmer and an IRS agent walk into a bar.
    Bartender says I smell a weasel, a pile of chicken sh*t and a musician.
    The bassist hangs his head and turns to leave.
    "See you guys later, they don't serve my kind here."
  6. Conversation got louder - that's the best one.
  7. ThudThudThud


    Jun 4, 2010
    Three bass players walk into a bar and order a beer each. Within minutes a guitar player came over and tried to show them how to drink their beers.
  8. organworthyplayer337

    organworthyplayer337 Professional Hack

    Oct 28, 2014
    Charlotte, NC
    Three bassists walk in to a bar....

    And after all three bands are finished with the gig, they all pack up, collect the cash, a drive home safely to their happy warm house with their loving spouses waiting for them with a loving embrace.
    Stumbo, Holdsg, jamro217 and 7 others like this.
  9. TRob1293

    TRob1293 Supporting Member

    Feb 1, 2008
    Sacramento, CA
    ... the fourth one ducks.
  10. Biggbass

    Biggbass Supporting Member

    Dec 14, 2011
    Planet Earth
    A bass player walks into a bar and sees his two friends, also bass players, sitting beside a 12-inch pianist. He says to his friends, "That's amazing. How did you get that?"

    One of the guys hands him a bottle and tells him to rub it and make a wish. He rubs the bottle, and a puff of smoke pops out and a mysterious voice tells him that he can have one wish. So the man thinks and says, "I wish I had a million bucks."

    The genie says, "OK, go outside, and your wish will be granted."

    The man goes outside, but all he finds are ducks filling the sky and roads. He goes back in and tells his friends what happened, and his friend replies, "I know. Did you really think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?"
  11. Drummer to guitar player: "Ok, you can borrow my watch but if you lose THIS one, I'm going to kill you."
    Bass player to drummer: "Don't kill him, Smitty. Bless his heart, the boy can't keep time to save his life.
  12. BassFishingInAmerica


    Jul 24, 2014
    3 bass players walk into a bar, as 3 girls walk out with 1 guitar player.
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2017
  13. Three bassists walk into a bar, they all pass the exam with flying colours so they can become lawyers to buy more gear.

    Three bassists walk into a bar, they walk up to the bartender and the owner who inform them that their respective gigs were all yesterday.

    Terrible, I know. :thumbsup:
    Michael Schreiber likes this.
  14. gln1955

    gln1955 Supporting Member

    Aug 25, 2014
    Ohio, USA
    A bass player walks into a bar, then goes to the bathroom. He comes out, goes to the bartender. He says, "you've got a great place, but my drummer was here last night, and he said you have golden urinals. Where are they?" The bartender turns to the band and yells, "Frank, I've got a lead on the guy who ruined your sax!"
  15. Jesuguru

    Jesuguru Supporting Member

    Sep 19, 2003
    DC area (for now)
    Bassist and guitar player arrive at the bar they co-own to open up, guitar player can't get the door open.
    Bassist: "Looks like you forgot the right key. Again."
  16. red_rhino

    red_rhino Currently on Double Secret Probation Gold Supporting Member

    Jan 26, 2001
    Over Macho Grandé
    Three bass players walk into a bar. The first one plays an A, the second one plays a C, and the third one plays an E.

    The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve minors."

    So the second bass player leaves and the first and third bass players split a fifth between them.
  17. Woolber

    Woolber Supporting Member

    Sep 27, 2013
    I would have suggested an Eb but I guess that would have just diminished the joke.
  18. Pirate Captain

    Pirate Captain Elitist Jazz Snob ********

    Dec 22, 2016
    three bassists walk into a bar...and fire the drummer of the fourth bassist's band
    Old Blastard likes this.
  19. dbase

    dbase Gold Supporting Member

    Jan 3, 2008
    South Jersey, USA..
  20. Shishka Bob

    Shishka Bob

    May 28, 2017
    Q: Whadya call a pretty girl on the arm of a bass player?
    A: A tattoo.