Three bass players from talk bass walk into a bar. All three unpack P's with torts and flats...
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"So, three bassists walk into a bar..."
- Thread starter Sunny Jim
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- bassists guitarists joke three
A bass player walks into a bar and thinks about ordering an exotic drink, but decides to order a Tonic because he wants to get back to his roots..
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A bassist is about to walk into a bar. Someone yells, "DUCK!"
Mr. Dunn turns to look, and smacks into the bar anyway.
Mr. Dunn turns to look, and smacks into the bar anyway.
Ok I seriously posted that just as you were posting. Get OUT of my head.
Ok I seriously posted that just as you were posting. Get OUT of my head.
I'm sorry. I thought I was at the bar. See you there.
Three bassists are hanging out in a bar. One of them remembers to take vitamin B7 before having a drink. The bassist next to him suggests that he wash the vitamin down with some Hi-C. The German bassist next to him thought the suggestion was flat and answered 'Nein'. As a result, there was tension between them...
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A bassist walks into 12 bars.....
Three bass players ride into a bar on a horse. The Bartender say to the horse "Why the long face?"
Why do bartenders hate noob bassists?
Because they can't read tab.
Because they can't read tab.
...does a turnaround and walks into 12 more.
Bass player shuffles into a bar in a bit of dismay, and tells the barkeep to set him up 10 shots, all in a line ...
Bartender complies, and Bassie fires them down in quick succession, without a pause ...
Barkeep says "Wow, I can't believe you just did that!" ...
Bassie hangs his head a bit, and replies, "You would too, if you had what I have ... "
Barkeep looking a bit saddened, asks what he has ...
... without looking up, Bassie mutters ....
"A buck and a half "
Bartender complies, and Bassie fires them down in quick succession, without a pause ...
Barkeep says "Wow, I can't believe you just did that!" ...
Bassie hangs his head a bit, and replies, "You would too, if you had what I have ... "
Barkeep looking a bit saddened, asks what he has ...
... without looking up, Bassie mutters ....
"A buck and a half "
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Bass player.
Bass player who?
Exactly.
Who's there?
Bass player.
Bass player who?
Exactly.
A bassist and a married couple walk into a bar. The bartender asks the bassist, "What'll it be?". The bassist replies, "I can't stand the drama in the band with those two, she's the singer and he's the guitarist. Should I quit? Fire the drummer? Start a new band with the drummer?".
The bartender quips, "Isn't there an internet forum for that kinda crap?".
The bartender quips, "Isn't there an internet forum for that kinda crap?".
I'd share my joke about distortion pedals, but it's too dirty.
--^@
--^@
3 bass players walk into a bar and meet a mind reader. The man says "I can tell that you all are musicians.
I'll wager a round of drinks if you tell me your name I can name your favorite song."
"Fair enough!" says the first bassist. "My name is Flea."
The man replies "Too easy. Who let the Dogs out."
Flea replies "What? I've never told anyone that. How could you have known my guilty pleasure?"
The next bassist paused and said "My name is Gordon Sumner"
The man quipped "Yeah, but you go by Sting don't ya? And your favorite song is Flight of the Bumblebee"
"Yeah, that's right. I spent most of my college days learning that piece in its entirety"
The man turned to the third bassist who said. "Me'Shell NdegeOcello"
"Gesundheit!" said the man "Now what is your name ma'am?"
____
Cheesy, I know. That's the best I could come up with in the few minutes I was reading this thread.
I'll wager a round of drinks if you tell me your name I can name your favorite song."
"Fair enough!" says the first bassist. "My name is Flea."
The man replies "Too easy. Who let the Dogs out."
Flea replies "What? I've never told anyone that. How could you have known my guilty pleasure?"
The next bassist paused and said "My name is Gordon Sumner"
The man quipped "Yeah, but you go by Sting don't ya? And your favorite song is Flight of the Bumblebee"
"Yeah, that's right. I spent most of my college days learning that piece in its entirety"
The man turned to the third bassist who said. "Me'Shell NdegeOcello"
"Gesundheit!" said the man "Now what is your name ma'am?"
____
Cheesy, I know. That's the best I could come up with in the few minutes I was reading this thread.
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How many bassists does it take to change a light bulb?
– None, the keyboardist can do it with his left hand.
– None, the keyboardist can do it with his left hand.
So, three bassists walk into a bar... with only one bass and no strap. One proceeds to plug it in and hold it, one starts a scale on the fretboard and the other begins to slap the strings, all in sync. The crowd goes wild, they have a few drinks and walk out, returning the bass to the pawn shop next door. Wonder who those dudes were?
