Three bassists decide to go out and get just schnockered. They pedaled for four bars, then walked up to the fifth.
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"So, three bassists walk into a bar..."
- Thread starter Sunny Jim
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- bassists guitarists joke three
Bootsy Collins goes to an audition,(its a joke,work with me). "Show me what ya got,kid" says the guy running things. Bootsy puts down a drop cloth,calls in Brian Beller and proceeds to cover him with various bodily fluids. The guy asks"Whats the name of your act?" Bootsy replies "The Aristocrats!"
a bass player takes his two bass playing friends out to his favorite pub. They take a seat at the bar and order drinks. About half way through their first drink the bartender calls out a number and a guy at the far end of the bar gets up and goes through a door at the back of the room. After this happens a couple more times, his two friends ask their buddy what the number thing is all about. "Well, it's a thing they do here. The barkeep calls out a number and if it's the number on the back of your stool you get to go in the back and have free sex" he replied. "WOW!" his friends exclaimed, " have you ever won?" "No" he says, "but my wife wins all the time."
Three bass players, Barney, Mark, and Felix walk in to a bar. Over drinks they decide to go into business together. The next day they buy a truck, drive out to the country and pay a dollar each for a load of watermelons. They take them back to town and quickly sell them all, for a dollar each. They go get another load and sell them even quicker than the first load. On their way out to get their third load of the day, Felix counts the money and discovers they have exactly the same amount as they started with. "Hey guys" Felix says, "somethings not right. We've sold two truckloads of melons and have not made any money." "I told y'all we should have got a bigger truck" says Barney.
Three bass players, Barney, Mark, and Felix walk in to a bar. Over drinks they decide to go into business together. The next day they buy a truck, drive out to the country and pay a dollar each for a load of watermelons. They take them back to town and quickly sell them all, for a dollar each. They go get another load and sell them even quicker than the first load. On their way out to get their third load of the day, Felix counts the money and discovers they have exactly the same amount as they started with. "Hey guys" Felix says, "somethings not right. We've sold two truckloads of melons and have not made any money." "I told y'all we should have got a bigger truck" says Barney.
Last edited:
madbass6
Inactive
- Jan 13, 2009
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so 3 bassist walk into a bar and all three asked the bar tender so wish light bulb needs to be changed ?
Three bassists walk into a bar with a "sleek, fast feel"...
(BassNW pun if anyone gets it)
(BassNW pun if anyone gets it)
Three bassists walk into a crowded bar on Halloween dressed as Star Wars characters. They sit down at the bar, put down their gig bags, and have a round. Turns out the bartender is a musician too, so the four of them talk shop for awhile, until one of them gets up, picks up his gig bag, and starts to leave. The bartender stops him and says, "Wait -- can I see your bass before you leave?" The guy takes the bass out of the gig bag and shows it to the bartender. The bartender, clearly impressed, says, "Great bass, Vader!" The bassist thanks him for the compliment and leaves.
After another round, the second bassist gets up to leave. The bartender asks to see his bass before he leaves. He obliges, and the impressed bartender says, "Great bass, Skywalker!" The bassist thanks him for the compliment and leaves.
The last bassist decides to stick around for a little longer, and when he's ready to leave the bartender asks to see his bass. He takes it out of the gig bag and holds it up for the bartender to see. Before the bartender can say anything, everyone else in the bar suddenly gets up and walks out. The bassist looks at the bartender quizzically and asks, "What just happened? Why did everyone suddenly leave?"
The bartender shrugs and says, "Beats me. I thought it was a great bass, Solo."
Get it? Get it?
After another round, the second bassist gets up to leave. The bartender asks to see his bass before he leaves. He obliges, and the impressed bartender says, "Great bass, Skywalker!" The bassist thanks him for the compliment and leaves.
The last bassist decides to stick around for a little longer, and when he's ready to leave the bartender asks to see his bass. He takes it out of the gig bag and holds it up for the bartender to see. Before the bartender can say anything, everyone else in the bar suddenly gets up and walks out. The bassist looks at the bartender quizzically and asks, "What just happened? Why did everyone suddenly leave?"
The bartender shrugs and says, "Beats me. I thought it was a great bass, Solo."
Get it? Get it?
3 bassist walk into a bar. The bartender turns and says "Thank god no solos"!
3 bassist walk into a bar, without G strings. the bartender turns and says "too much D"
Lemmy in skeleton form walks into a bar - he says "give me a shot of whiskey and a mop".
3 bassists walk into bar and in another bar 3 lead sings walk out with girls.
3 bassist walk into a bar, without G strings. the bartender turns and says "too much D"
Lemmy in skeleton form walks into a bar - he says "give me a shot of whiskey and a mop".
3 bassists walk into bar and in another bar 3 lead sings walk out with girls.
- Oct 22, 2015
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What? That would never happen. Everyone knows that bass players never change light bulbs. They boil them to make them bright again.
Three bassists walk into a crowded bar on Halloween dressed as Star Wars characters. They sit down at the bar, put down their gig bags, and have a round. Turns out the bartender is a musician too, so the four of them talk shop for awhile, until one of them gets up, picks up his gig bag, and starts to leave. The bartender stops him and says, "Wait -- can I see your bass before you leave?" The guy takes the bass out of the gig bag and shows it to the bartender. The bartender, clearly impressed, says, "Great bass, Vader!" The bassist thanks him for the compliment and leaves.
After another round, the second bassist gets up to leave. The bartender asks to see his bass before he leaves. He obliges, and the impressed bartender says, "Great bass, Skywalker!" The bassist thanks him for the compliment and leaves.
The last bassist decides to stick around for a little longer, and when he's ready to leave the bartender asks to see his bass. He takes it out of the gig bag and holds it up for the bartender to see. Before the bartender can say anything, everyone else in the bar suddenly gets up and walks out. The bassist looks at the bartender quizzically and asks, "What just happened? Why did everyone suddenly leave?"
The bartender shrugs and says, "Beats me. I thought it was a great bass, Solo."
Get it? Get it?
Winner!
Three bassists walk into the bar
The first bassist fingers the waitress
The second bassist bassist picks a fight with the bartender
The third bassist slaps them all around
And, they all get the hell out of there before the drummer gets there and beats the crap out of them
The first bassist fingers the waitress
The second bassist bassist picks a fight with the bartender
The third bassist slaps them all around
And, they all get the hell out of there before the drummer gets there and beats the crap out of them
EdwardofHuncote
I Still Dream of Jeannie
- Aug 21, 2013
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Three bassists walk into a bar...
...because that's where the drummers called for a ride from.
...because that's where the drummers called for a ride from.
Here's a groaner.
A bass player wearing a fedora walks into a bar and orders some prune juice.
This gets the attention of an attractive lady in a blue floral hat who walks over to him.
The hat says to the fedora "Hey good lookin', haven't seen you around here before."
The fedora replies "Well that's rather odd, I always try to visit on a regular bassist."
A bass player wearing a fedora walks into a bar and orders some prune juice.
This gets the attention of an attractive lady in a blue floral hat who walks over to him.
The hat says to the fedora "Hey good lookin', haven't seen you around here before."
The fedora replies "Well that's rather odd, I always try to visit on a regular bassist."
A good bassist, a bad bassist, a drummer and a keyboardist rehearse in a room where there's a 100$ bill on the floor. Who picks it up...? The bad bassist. Why? Easy, good bassists simply don't exist, the drummer only notices the bill after the 10th time he's told and the keyboard guy won't move a finger for less than 200$.
