Jazzdogg
Less barking, more wagging!
Q: What does a stripper do to her a-hole before she goes on stage?
A: She drops him off at a drum shop.
A: She drops him off at a drum shop.
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Double Bass Some jokes only bassists get...
- Thread starter NicholasF
- Start date
And do you know how a singer changes a light bulb? He waits for the world to spin around him.
How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. There are machines that can do that now.
None. There are machines that can do that now.
What do you call guy who hangs out with musicians .... ?
A bassist.
So my friends band got a really big break and I asked them what they were thinking about right before the epic chorus of the first song.
Singer: "I gotta toss my hair and then pull up my pants a little so when I lean back it looks really awesome"
Guitar player: "I'm gonna slide to the tritone then do a little dorian run into blasting the fifth"
Drummer: "Accent the middle triplet for one and half counts right before the big crash"
Bassist: one five one five one five ....
A bassist.
So my friends band got a really big break and I asked them what they were thinking about right before the epic chorus of the first song.
Singer: "I gotta toss my hair and then pull up my pants a little so when I lean back it looks really awesome"
Guitar player: "I'm gonna slide to the tritone then do a little dorian run into blasting the fifth"
Drummer: "Accent the middle triplet for one and half counts right before the big crash"
Bassist: one five one five one five ....
What do you give a guitarist when he comes to your house?
Ten bucks for the pizza.
Ten bucks for the pizza.
A female opera singer, of rather large girth, is being escorted backstage (during a performance) by a stage hand, when they come to a narrow doorway -
"You may want to turn sideways here, so you don't damage your costume, Ma'am", he whispers.
To which the Diva replies:
"Honey... I ain't got no Sideways!"
"You may want to turn sideways here, so you don't damage your costume, Ma'am", he whispers.
To which the Diva replies:
"Honey... I ain't got no Sideways!"
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I've heard most of these--although some with variations on the same joke--and most of those are funny.
Here's one of my favorites I didn't see.
Did you hear about the drummer who locked hi keys in the car?
It took him 30 minutes to get the bass player out of the backseat.
Here's one of my favorites I didn't see.
Did you hear about the drummer who locked hi keys in the car?
It took him 30 minutes to get the bass player out of the backseat.
What's the difference between a coffin and a DB? In the DB, the deadman is in the outside.
Did you hear about the drummer who was so depressed about his bad timing, he threw himself behind a train.
Q:. How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:. It takes five drummers. One to physically change the lightbulb, and four others to stand around and tell you how much better they could have done the job.
Q: How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 10,001, One to change it and 10,000 to ponder how Eddie Van Halen would have done it.
A: 10,001, One to change it and 10,000 to ponder how Eddie Van Halen would have done it.
Q: What did the drummer get on his music exam?
A: Drool
A: Drool
What does it take to fill in a 65000 people stadium? A singer and his ego.
What's the definition of perfect pitch?
When you throw an accordion in a dumpster & it lands on the banjo.
When you throw an accordion in a dumpster & it lands on the banjo.
Q: What's the difference between a seamstress and a bassist playing Bach's cello suites?
A: The seamstress tucks up the frills...
A: The seamstress tucks up the frills...
A Cavalry Colonel, while reviewing his front-line troops, hears insistent, rythmic pounding in the near hills. After several hours, he turns to his senior aide and says, "Captain, I don't like the sound of those drums." At which point, there is a moment of silence, followed by a voice yelling, "He's not our regular drummer!"
"-Sir, what do you think about the pianist execution?
-That would be excessive, a couple of years in jail will be enough."
Hope is funny in English too, as it's not my birth language.
-That would be excessive, a couple of years in jail will be enough."
Hope is funny in English too, as it's not my birth language.
