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Some Tips for planning a healthy , resilient band dynamic
- Thread starter mambo4
- Start date
Some Tips for planning a healthy , resilient band dynamic
I'm thinking either a) armed band leader, or b) group discount on rehab.
Of course, you could carefully hire a crew of sober, thoughtful, and considerate players who could approach it in a business-like way and still make it groove and have a good time doing it . . . . . and of course, you could also find Jimmy Hoffa, have brunch with the Easter Bunny, and keep your unicorn in the back yard, next to the UFO in the garage.
I'm thinking either a) armed band leader, or b) group discount on rehab.
Of course, you could carefully hire a crew of sober, thoughtful, and considerate players who could approach it in a business-like way and still make it groove and have a good time doing it . . . . . and of course, you could also find Jimmy Hoffa, have brunch with the Easter Bunny, and keep your unicorn in the back yard, next to the UFO in the garage.
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If two of you are talking about the third guy, those things need brought out immediately, that's not good. I'm the gate keeper of that one for us. Yet another reason I belong in a 3-piece band, more folks make it too easy to have mini-gangs.
And if you come to find out that the BL is a narcissist and he and his singer/(sorta) keyboard player wife is sneaky, don't stay 5 years and be miserable no matter how fantastic the music is; trust me, run, run like hell, even if you're the kind of person that can get along with anybody. It's not your responsibility to feed someone else's major malfunction. But that's a good example of a bad example. Or a bad example of a good example? Either way, same thing.
And if you come to find out that the BL is a narcissist and he and his singer/(sorta) keyboard player wife is sneaky, don't stay 5 years and be miserable no matter how fantastic the music is; trust me, run, run like hell, even if you're the kind of person that can get along with anybody. It's not your responsibility to feed someone else's major malfunction. But that's a good example of a bad example. Or a bad example of a good example? Either way, same thing.
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sure you could do all these things, but then we wouldn't have any band drama stories on TB and where's the fun in that?
How these ideas are presented and communicated matters. Nobody said anything about band meetings or power point presentations, that stuff always triggers the resistance in most people. Everyone rolls there eyes at corporate mission statements or required HR compliance training.
Yet these ideas are important and useful to have considered, so how do we communicate them without "scaring most musicians away"? A coherent goal, a plan to get there, and thoughtful consideration about individual ownership isn't going to just happen naturally in most cases. I wouldn't suggest printing this thread out and passing around These tips are stuff to keep in mind and bring up a little at a time in between tunes. It can be a casual conversation presented as obvious no brainer stuff "of course we all know this already, but we should..." the point is to actually have the conversation. The little note about "let's plan to..." vs "let's agree to..." is a suggestion about how to smoothly communicate these ideas. There is a craft , a strategy, to bringing people around and into alignment (Leadership, I guess)
Also, the first person to implement any of the "tips" should be me, of course.
wouldn't you rather not be a dick in a band with an understood, coherent goal and a mutual plan to get there?
I had a childhood friend who was truly a gifted guitarist, singer, songwriter, and could play most instruments by ear. Everyone loved him. But he was always needing rides and often I had to buy him a small combo amp over the years because he lacked a day job. He just felt he didn't want to do a day job. I felt bad for him but if he got a job like I had years ago he would have had a nice car, credit cards, and money. Sadly he died in a house fire 10 years ago.
No one has mentioned the golden rule:
"Have a good time, all the time".
"Have a good time, all the time".
drumvsbass
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Benjamin Earl
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Love it! I would add that some of these agreements need to be put into writing. Money, original song rights, band name rights, and who has the authority to fire people should be agreed upon before you invest time/effort/creativity. This is a difficult task, and it may end the project before it starts. Do it now or do it later.
I agree with trying to be as good/prepared/agreeable a band member as you can. Beyond that, there is nothing I can do except, be prepared to quit. Often I end up liking the people and tolerating a semi-functioning, endlessly rehearsing dynamic because I don't believe in myself enough.
The best bands work when an "benevolent dictator" is in charge - someone who is empowered to make the decisions, and makes very good decisions and keeps the interests of the other band members (not just him or herself) in mind when making decisions. Pure democracy in bands usually does end up either in conflicts or the inability to make decisions. That being said, finding a dictator is easy (usually the LS), finding a "benevolent dictator" is far more difficult.
I would just rather know the situation when I arrive in a band - is this a dictatorship? Or one that pretends to let "everyone have their say" as a facade fro a bad dictator to do what they wish? as long as I know what the expectations in terms of decision-making and input are, i'm fine with it. it's when they tell you one thing but then you speak up, and you get your head cut off, that bothers me
I would just rather know the situation when I arrive in a band - is this a dictatorship? Or one that pretends to let "everyone have their say" as a facade fro a bad dictator to do what they wish? as long as I know what the expectations in terms of decision-making and input are, i'm fine with it. it's when they tell you one thing but then you speak up, and you get your head cut off, that bothers me
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I think all the rules in the world won't change the fact that you need 4-5 people with similar goals and expectations and that get along well to have a successful band. Or the pay has to be enough to deal with it. It's all a balance between the music, the hang, the money. There are different conversations to be had when a band id first forming and when a new member is joining. If you have reasonable adults, most things fall into place.
Sounds like you were in the band I was in for 20 years. The drummer was the BL, pretended it was a band, but may God have mercy on your soul if you ever disagreed with something he did or said. Never worked with anyone so ruthless and deceptive. And we were just a glorified bar band who happened to have some semi-prestigious gigs with acts from the 50's, 60's and 70's.
