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Maybe encourage their mother to help them become adults. It's a disservice to let them be immature and then have to face the real world. Learning to become responsible will make the future easier not more difficult.
I agree with Gorn on this...
You will have to move to the lovely overpass...
But jokes apart, you are not in an easy situation and I do not envy you.
I know to many people in LA that have either rent paid for by their parents or the majority of their bills and these 4-5 people are some of the worst people ive met and been in bands with. Wake and bake and get wasted at practices, drink drive everywhere etc. Its a disservice to treat adults as children, bare minimum id set a date for them to move back out, 6 months max and require them to have full time jobs.
Sorry big guy. If it's not your house, amd not your kids, you hold exactly zero cards here.
"It's them or me" won't play out in your favor.
"It's them or me" won't play out in your favor.
Is this being done w/o discussing it?
Yeah, that's no good. Now you know where you stand.
Why are they moving back in? What's the long term plan?
They gonna stay 'til you die? If you're not on the deed, you got nothin'.
What's in the will? Does the house go to you? Doubt it.
Wife dies and the kids will kick you out.
IMO, you're already out and it's a slow burn to a big fire with what will happen.
Why is there any continued discussion or macho BS posturing after this??????
buldog5151bass
Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.
Because OP is asking for ideas. He's living with an adult partner - hopefully they can discuss things in a rational manner. If not, they aren't partners.
If you want an echo chamber of "THOSE DAMN KIDS!", talkbass is the perfect place considering the age group of its members.
Tough situation.
I'd suggest you leave, saying you'll be back when they're gone.
Yeah, ultimatums always work, especially when you tell someone to choose their family over you.
Do what my father did to me; threaten to forge their names on some enlistment papers. I knew he was willing to do it, too... It's too late for you, but... my parents actually moved when I was in military tech school - and left no forwarding address. Just to let me know they were serious, I guess...
Your parents sound like lunatics...
No, not really. They were both...interestingly unique...but not lunatics. The "enlistment papers" thing was just a sort of running joke between Dad and myself. But, he did make it clear that I was expected to leave the nest. I could have stayed, probably - for a while; but, actually, I would have had to leave, regardless. Military regulations were very clear about dependent children; unless they were in college/handicapped, your 18th birthday=you can't live in military housing no more. And, we were living in base housing at Langley AFB... I could easily gotten a good job in Newport News, anyway; or gone to the Air Force Academy; instead, I just joined the Air Force before my 18th birthday...
As for moving? Not as bad as it sounded. Dad just got transferred to Mtn. Home AFB, Idaho, while I was in tech school at Sheppard AFB, Texas. They didn't tell me about it; just packed up and left. About a day after I got the returned letter with "Return to Sender" on it, my whole family showed up at the base, to see me. And stayed for several days. So, it was kinda hard to be mad about it, really. But, 'till their dying day, my parents though it was enormously funny...
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Yes, but if you're contributing economically in a large part, you should at least have some say in how things go.
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S.O. might agree charging rent is a good idea if it gets put in a secret account for future house deposits.
Thanks all. It's a tough one - her house, her kids etc.... She wouldn't want me out and I don't want to go but having the peace shattered after 5 years is hell for me but as their mother, she loves having them back home. I've never disliked them but living around them irritates the hell out of me. Pass the Jack....
OP: nothing will work unless you and your partner are on the same page. if that's impossible = it just won't work. IME/IMO: good cop / bad cop is an option. good luck on your quest for 'bliss'!
buldog5151bass
Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.
Have you tried talking with her? It's nice that she wants to help her kids, but they are adults, and should be acting as adults. I do like the idea of taking the rent or other money they pay and putting it in an account for them (without telling them of course).
Because they are not?
Many animals live in family groups, though the majority do send the young males packing; others don't kick out any of the young, but have a social hierarchy that may cause some to choose to leave. In quite a few cases the simplistic ideas humans used to have about herd or pack or pride dynamics when observation was more limited and difficult have proven to be built on a more complex social dynamic that observation using more sophisticated methods which are not foiled by dark or lack of a person actively watching has revealed.
Many others are still quite unknown, especially the aquatic ones, which are still difficult to observe and track, even with great advances over what little used to be possible. The unknown still greatly exceeds the known, there. But some of the now-known is pretty weird, such as fish changing gender (as adults) based on what the other fish around them are.
