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Stick around? Walk Away? or Say Something?
- Thread starter zeppfan90
- Start date
If you can't let it go, then show up without your gear. If asked why, just say you didn't feel like playing and just wanted to hang out.
Bring staff paper and pencils and say you want to write out the work you have done so far and build on it.
Let the wankmeister try to write down some of his stuff.
Let the wankmeister try to write down some of his stuff.
Never understood how complementing the skill of bassist 1 to bassist 2 would be thought of as an insult by bassist 2.
If your ego is so fragile you take complements of other players skill are an insult to yours, you certainly don't need to be anywhere near the music business.
Skill is a relative thing and an opinion of skill is such a subjective thing. Thinking of said opinion as some kind of insult is not just silly, it's guaranteed to keep you in a constant state of butthurtedness if you hang around your typical musician(s).
As far as that goes, if you are not able to hear a compliment of another as anything but an insult to you, you got way more troubles than your skill as a musician.
You're right. It's very tough. But music is the only thing i got between holding on to hope and slitting my wrists. Whats worse is I cannot even accept a compliment myself. I immediately mentally discredit the person giving me the compliment. But every compliment another person receives I see as genuine and well deserved. It is like living in a mine field of things that hurt my feelings. I think my low self-esteem is a defense mechanism of sorts. I dunno, it's twisted. Like I expect to be hurt or I deserve it anyway. But it's ok though. I'm still trying. I'm in therapy, and I got the support of my TB brothers who understand me.
Www.personalitypages.com is a great place to begin understanding who YOU are for a whopping $5.00
You are who you are party by training from your parents, partly by your own chemistry and partly thru birth order and siblings.
I encourage you to try and understand yourself a little more to better deal with situations like your current one.
Beyond that, if you have a hard time with a personal approach consider a 'late night email' after one of these sessions. Spend a lot of time drafting it and reading it over several days, then send one night after practice. Let him know you don't want to raise the issue in front of his friend but you are starting to feel like a 'third wheel' and don't really know where you stand in all this. Then outright ask if you should just bow out (to which he probably says no) or if he can agree your practice times with him are the two of you and he can play (with his gearless buddy) other times. Tell him practice only works when one is actually playing, not watching someone else.
A
Lose what opportunity? To loan your gear to a "bass phenomenon" with no groove who is so good that he doesn't even have his own gear? LEAVE IMMEDIATELY and find some of those other people that are out there - we're not all wankers.
Sounds to me like the guitarist is using you just to have your gear around for Johnny Notalent to utilize. He probably has no intention of keeping you around anyway, so walk away.
At first I thought that this singer/songwriter/guitarist might have potential. But once you relayed that he had to be stoned to play? Move along, move along. Nothing to see here.
In the OP, it states that the guitarist said "yeah you're good, but he's just a bass phenomenon."
If someone said that to me while the so-called phenomenon had to use my gear, I would be offended. It's saying that the OP is only useful in that the other guy has his gear to use. I would be out of there fast enough to make that guitarist's head spin.
Actually, all it's saying is some guy thinks one bassist is more skilled than the other.
It's an opinion, no more no less. Quit reading something into it that's not there.
Nah I think Hobo is spot on here. Think about it, this "phenom" bass player with no groove, is the guitarists good friend. Good enough that he happily offered up equipment for him to come jam on that's not even his. Guitarist is an ass at right there. But it gets better.
Guitarist man thinks his good friend "phenom" bass player is actually good even though he can't groove? What?! Sounds like a failed guitarist trying to score a gig on bass with all those supposed soloing chops. A bass player that can't just sit back and groove, lock in with that kick drum is completely worthless. The fact that guitarist man think's he's a "phenom" is telling. Tells me to beat feet the hell out of there and find a real project.
While I personally would not have tolerated this situation, I do sorta agree with the poster who suggested a change in venue. If you want to continue playing with his guy, invite him to your place and see what happens.
Leave.
I've read every post in this thread and I've come up with some choice names for this band:
Toolbox
Wankfest
The Wankerstein brothers
Wank Anonymous
The Fabulous Wank Brothers.
I've read every post in this thread and I've come up with some choice names for this band:
Toolbox
Wankfest
The Wankerstein brothers
Wank Anonymous
The Fabulous Wank Brothers.
I like the concept of Toolbox- where every member is an arrogant self centered pr!ck and solos at any time regardless of its inappropriate nature.
Each band member would be a tool- bandsaw, Phillips Head, Monkey Wrench.
But obviously not Hammer.
That one was taken.
Each band member would be a tool- bandsaw, Phillips Head, Monkey Wrench.
But obviously not Hammer.
That one was taken.
