You sir apparently dork out to horror movies as much as I do. A much simpler method would be walking in there wearing only a banana hammock and a sign that says free hugs. It's a gamble as there may be a tech into that, but most likely the first uncomfortable hug will have them responding to the problem expediently.Or a naked, oiled up madman wearing a Hawaiian carved mask, wielding a machete and screaming "Where is the terror?" over and over. If you need to ratchet up the pressure a little.
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