Taking a Stance

[bassbully]

Now that looks like a blast! *** is “marketing it”; what the he!! is going on in your head?!?!

You’re expressing how much fun you had with this garage jam, and it just makes me wonder why you can’t still enjoy something like that?

You’re wasting such precious time trying to appease your ego. Is it more about being a wannabe star - a “look at me” thing - or having fun making music?

An ego is like some demon that’ll consume you and suck all the enjoyment and quality from what’s left of your life.

I suggest you reprioritize your values, dump the ego, and enjoy your remaining years.

Read on if you‘re bored…

I’m in a gigging band (not initially my idea), and we take a weekend off every few weeks to avoid burnout (at least for a couple of us). Those weekends, drummer and I have three other buddies, two guitarists and a keyboard player (none really gig-worthy), come over to my music room and jam like crazy, and I look forward to those nights waaaaaay more than the band gigs.

I swear, if my band buddies didn‘t need what I bring to the table ($$$), I’d dump that band in a second to return to every-weekend real fun.

(Okay, I do have a lot of original material and recording capability and prefer that to live performance, but the point still stands.)

I understand where your coming from and Asked Blue the same thing awhile back. Whats wrong with classic rock? Blues? R&B? It appears Blue are always afraid it wont be a cool, sexy image to play for. It might not have allot of ladies shakin to your music playin with some older cats but you will have a solid gig. Isn't that what its all about?. I don't care about any of that chick chasin,drunks in my face crap. I put up with that in my cover band days. i enjoy playing for folks who want to hear us play good music and hear them appreciate us for the music .Not a bunch of drunk floozies shakin it and knocking over my gear again...been there done that.

 

[bluewine]

I understand where your coming from and Asked Blue the same thing awhile back. Whats wrong with classic rock? Blues? R&B? It appears Blue are always afraid it wont be a cool, sexy image to play for. It might not have allot of ladies shakin to your music playin with some older cats but you will have a solid gig. Isn't that what its all about?. I don't care about any of that chick chasin,drunks in my face crap. I put up with that in my cover band days. i enjoy playing for folks who want to hear us play good music and hear them appreciate us for the music .Not a bunch of drunk floozies shakin it and knocking over my gear again...been there done that.

I guess it's a growing up and facing reality sort of thing.Believe me, it's hard to hit on chics in public when your 57. Even I know it seems sort of weird and sad.I know I have embarassed my 2 boys when they have come to shows.

I would welcome an audition from a working blues band or classic rock.I have even tried, but even this blues band wouldn't give me an audition.They labeled me because of my last band;

I've seen you in action. I was playing drums for The Form when we opened for you guys at Linnemans back in February. And yes, you are a cool bass player. I was impressed but, we're looking for someone that is grooving solely on the blues scene and I don't think that's you.
The cool part - you're a most excellent bassist and we've intersected twice. The way things work in this business maybe we'll get a chance to jam together in the future. Best of luck man!

 

[bassbully]

I guess it's a growing up and facing reality sort of thing.Believe me, it's hard to hit on chics in public when your 57. Even I know it seems sort of weird and sad.I know I have embarassed my 2 boys when they have come to shows.

I would welcome an audition from a working blues band or classic rock.I have even tried, but even this blues band wouldn't give me an audition.They labeled me because of my last band;

I've seen you in action. I was playing drums for The Form when we opened for you guys at Linnemans back in February. And yes, you are a cool bass player. I was impressed but, we're looking for someone that is grooving solely on the blues scene and I don't think that's you.
The cool part - you're a most excellent bassist and we've intersected twice. The way things work in this business maybe we'll get a chance to jam together in the future. Best of luck man!

Ehhh....one down more to come? They must of thought the pop rock gig is where you are at and until now thats all you used to want to do. Opening up to these other types of music will only give you more chances of getting a gigging band.

Dont think that classic rock, blues,oldies R&B only get old ladies out to them BTW.There are allot of young one's and lookers that get out to those shows and most of those bands are booked in the better clubs.
I have a wife who supports me so i dont have a need to do the chasin thing. To be honest it never was my bag to begin with when I could. It was never the kind of place I wanted to meet someone in if you know what I mean.

 

[bluewine]

Ehhh....one down more to come? They must of thought the pop rock gig is where you are at and until now thats all you used to want to do. Opening up to these other types of music will only give you more chances of getting a gigging band.

Dont think that classic rock, blues,oldies R&B only get old ladies out to them BTW.There are allot of young one's and lookers that get out to those shows and most of those bands are booked in the better clubs.
I have a wife who supports me so i dont have a need to do the chasin thing. To be honest it never was my bag to begin with when I could. It was never the kind of place I wanted to meet someone in if you know what I mean.


Yeah, I am not really closed to anything except those ads that have Red Flags for BS.

Women, it alway been a perk of the business.I have never met anyone that was interetsed in me for being me.It always has had something to do with a show or a band.

 

[the yeti]

I have never met anyone that was interetsed in me for being me.QUOTE]

wow... really?

 

[bassbully]

I have never met anyone that was interetsed in me for being me.QUOTE]

wow... really?

Well there you go and my #1 reason for not messing around in clubs with chicks...plus all the others reasons we all were warned about

 

[bluewine]

Well there you go and my #1 reason for not messing around in clubs with chicks...plus all the others reasons we all were warned about

I am not sure "we warned you" is an acurate picture.

The whole women thing is different for all guys.

I am sure I am not alone in my perception of how opportunities with women present themsleves to me.
Plus, what am I, a snob. I like bar chics.

And look at the divorce rate, I guess I don't care why a chic is interested as long as she's interested. Just a theory, it's mine and I think I'm right.

 

[dave_p]

interesting thread to say the least.

resume padding is nothing new i guess, and an accepted part of our current culture. while i dont necessarily agree with it, the real problems are only when you cant live up to the hype. if you can walk the walk, its all good in the end.

my biggest gains as a musician have always been when either i put it down for a while and come back fresh, or when i bite off just a bit more than i can chew, and then push myself to live up to it.

i have been at it for 21 years. i have had paying gigs with good bands. i have studio experience and live sound experience on both sides of the console. i am not a master at anything, but i feel well rounded. i show up to rehearsals on time, and learn the material. at the peak of my gigging days i felt it a stretch to even call myself semi-professional. but thats just me.

after my second child was born i stopped gigging for a long while. now that my kids are older i have been trying to get back into it. having lost touch with the whole scene it is tough. tryed a few things with dissapointing results. dont know how to really put myself out there.

heres what i did: decided to try and put a band together myself. contacted a couple of dudes and we got together. we have decided on material and we are going to start getting it together, this may be your best option. find some dudes with a similar situation, define your goals and see if it works for everyone.

 

[BillW87]

The way I see it is that auditioning for a band is a lot like going to a job interview. You need to be flexible to their requests within reason, and if you think their requests are unreasonable then its probably not the band for you. However, I'd caution against coming into an audition and thinking you can call the shots, because just like in a job interview this is 99% likely to blow up in your face. If you think you're overqualified for the position then don't apply for it, but once you're at the audition you're expected to play by their rules if you're serious about playing in that band. Once you're in you're going to have more freedom (if its the right band) to call the shots but don't expect bands to alter their audition style just for you, because most bands are going to want everyone auditioning to go through the same process so that they can be objectively compared.

You want to call the shots? Start your own band. It sounds like from most of your posts that you're more comfortable in a leadership position anyways, so chances are you're going to find nothing but frustration as a hired gun if you think you're going to have as much control over the situation as you seem to be expecting.

 

[bassbully]

I am not sure "we warned you" is an acurate picture.

The whole women thing is different for all guys.

I am sure I am not alone in my perception of how opportunities with women present themsleves to me.
Plus, what am I, a snob. I like bar chics.

And look at the divorce rate, I guess I don;t care why a chic is inetersted as long as she's interested. Just a theory, it's mine and I think I'm right.

Oh..It can be different all right..yeah.. to each their own.

 

[bluewine]

Oh..It can be different all right..yeah.. to each their own.

Yeah, we can all agree with to each their own.

Hell, I have 9 months into my current relationship, that is the longest since my last divorce. 15 years younger than me, which is a lot better than 31 years difference. That might work in hollywood but it was insane for me.

Anyway she's into the music scene loves concerts, goes to alot of shows, supports me in what I do in music to a degree. She really does not have any interest in getting involved with me and a band. Makes sense.

 

[bassbully]

Yeah, we can all agree with to each their own.

Hell, I have 9 months into my current relationship, that is the longest since my last divorce. 15 years younger than me, which is a lot better than 31 years difference. That might work in hollywood but it was insane for me.

Anyway she's into the music scene loves concerts, goes to alot of shows, supports me in what I do in music to a degree. She really does not have any interest in getting involved with me and a band. Makes sense.

Since it sounds like you have a good gal now you wont have to worry about the ladies anymore...right?

 

[bluewine]

Since it sounds like you have a good gal now you wont have to worry about the ladies anymore...right?

Well in theory yes, I am lucky, she is just what I need. She has it together, she's cute. Looks at me like I am from a different planet most of the time. But tolerates my living in the past stuff to a degree.

I just hope I have outgrown,the "Not Happy Until Your With Another Skank Syndrome"

I am sure there are some of you that know what I mean. And it ain't nothin to be proud of.

 

[bassbully]

Well in theory yes, I am lucky, she is just what I need. She has it together, she's cute. Looks at me like I am from a different planet most of the time. But tolerates my living in the past stuff to a degree.

I just hope I have outgrown,the "Not Happy Until Your With Another Skank Syndrome"

I am sure there are some of you that know what I mean. And it ain't nothin to be proud of.

I was only there years ago when I was younger. I then found out one of the true meanings to my happyness was ONE good woman that loved and supported me. Today I have found that ONE after a few failed attempts and heartbreak, she is great.
If you have that ONE or someone close thats a good thing. I could never go back to chasin tail days but thats me. I like seeing good looking gals at a gig but my music is why I am there single or not.

 

[dminer]

I would welcome an audition from a working blues band or classic rock.I have even tried, but even this blues band wouldn't give me an audition.They labeled me because of my last band;

I've seen you in action. I was playing drums for The Form when we opened for you guys at Linnemans back in February. And yes, you are a cool bass player. I was impressed but, we're looking for someone that is grooving solely on the blues scene and I don't think that's you.
The cool part - you're a most excellent bassist and we've intersected twice. The way things work in this business maybe we'll get a chance to jam together in the future. Best of luck man!

Hah, sounds like one of my experiences...our female blues singer/slide player was moving to California a year ago and most of the rest of the band weren't really sure what they wanted to do. We were kind of in limbo. The drummer and myself always had side projects going on with other bands.

I saw an add on cl for a "blues only" bass player with a set list of very standard songs that most of which, I'd played many times... Sweet Home Chicago, The Same Thing, Born Under a Bad Sign ect.

So, I email the guy and give him a link to me playing some original Blues flavored material so he could gauge my playing ability and my original bass lines and tell him that I already know 90% of their list and that I can learn songs fast, do my homework ect.

He emails me back and says that it quite apparent that I'm an excellent bass player but that they are looking for someone who "Lives for the Blues" They didn't even offer me an audition and he re-post his bass player wanted add....oh well...I later found out that he's a Photography teacher and that he/they never got the band off the ground or played any gigs.

Meanwhile, I called up the players for my old blues band and suggest that we keep on playing and audition new female singers to replace the one that went west. Best thing we ever did because we found a GREAT vocalist and we were out gigging again in a short period of time and now we're making more money, playing bigger stages and getting more gigs.

Blue, I'm about your age and I sympathize with you. But you've got to keep on playing. Start your own blues/cover band. Or, keep on auditioning but don't try to bluff the auditioning band again (you stated that you'd learned your lesson.) So, good luck and hang in there!

 

[bluewine]

Hah, sounds like one of my experiences...our female blues singer/slide player was moving to California a year ago and most of the rest of the band weren't really sure what they wanted to do. We were kind of in limbo.

They didn't even offer me an audition and he re-post his bass player wanted add....oh well...I later found out that he's a Photography teacher and that he/they never got the band off the ground or played any gigs

Yes, very similar, we had an outstanding female front, 26 years old. But she just basically came to a rehearsal and said she was done. Then the lead guitarist gave notice the next day.With that we were through.

And with the guy that labeled me, I found out he is no longer in that band that opened for us and in no way represents that band.

 

[bluewine]

As others have said, you need to just start your own band and use whatever you know to make that work. From what I've read from your other posts, your demands are simply far too high for you to really fit in with another band.

Hmmm, lets see, I have been playing since before you were born. Came out of and excellent working originals cover band with cool material and the best front person in town.

Yeah I guess wanting to be in a working band, with good people, bookings, good material and a good business /marketing plan in place is way to much to shoot for.

 

[bluewine]

Blue, I'm about your age and I sympathize with you. But you've got to keep on playing. Start your own blues/cover band. Or, keep on auditioning but don't try to bluff the auditioning band again (you stated that you'd learned your lesson.) So, good luck and hang in ther:

Cool, thanks for the support, something will happen it will take time. As for bluffing a start up band, I have no regrets with doing that.

As a matter of fact without me and my experience that band will be that typical start up band that wil never see it's 1st gig.I am actually thinking of telling them that.

 

[tycobb73]

Blue will never understand that his attitude is piss poor and I wouldn;t let him within 1000 ft of my band. Reminds me of a guitar player that runs an open mic I frequent. Great guitar player and we'll all get up onstage with him for a couple songs that sound amazing. But at the end of the day we all sit and talk to each other about how there is no way we will be in a band with him because of his attitude. He actually auditioned for my band and I made my decision before he played a note.

 

[steveksux]

Blue will never understand that his attitude is piss poor and I wouldn;t let him within 1000 ft of my band. Reminds me of a guitar player that runs an open mic I frequent. Great guitar player and we'll all get up onstage with him for a couple songs that sound amazing. But at the end of the day we all sit and talk to each other about how there is no way we will be in a band with him because of his attitude. He actually auditioned for my band and I made my decision before he played a note.

Man, you have not been paying attention... its his age, man!






I'm just joking, don't have a dog in this fight, just teasing about his age complex...

There's a difference between being direct and being a dick. Hard to tell the difference online. If Bluewine is looking for specific stuff, no harm putting that out there out front, and not accepting stuff he doesn't want to put up with. Is that arrogance or just being up front? The difference is all in the delivery.

Randy