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The BIGGEST douche move onstage is...

#102
Ladies and Gentlemen of TalkBass. I'd like to nominate myself for "Biggest Stage Douche on TB" award. I never thought of the fake British accent but thanks for the great ideas. We'll add it to our band's routine this weekend.
 

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#105
Used to have a friend in a band back in the day, the lead singer would tell the crowd he just immigrated from Russia (he was from Memphis!) and he'd step up to the mic and say in a heavy Russian accent "I like make rock musik in Amerika, dank you!" He used to get hit on by more chicks for that!
 
#106
carlthegroover said:
My vote is for "no shirts". What's the purpose of doing that, anyways? For the chicks (in case of a semi-naked dude onstage) to get all "warmed up" or something? Does it even work? And it reeks of a "look at me, I'm hot" attitude. Ugh. Same applies for "bare feet": what's the deal? Who wants to see ugly, stinky bare feet, anyways?

But the thing that can't be douchier is to behave in a way that does not correspond with what you're playing (an extreme example: being all "punk-ish" in a jazz gig). The subtle varieties are even douchier, because some people might not realize consciously what's wrong with the band, but they still notice.
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Taking off one's shirt at a wedding gig perhaps? Plus add a fake British accent for extra effect.
 
#108
GlennW said:
talking to the crowd with a fake English accent.

ALL come up short in doucheitivity when put up against the fake English accent.

It doesn't matter what else is going on or being worn onstage; when the singer talks to the crowd in a fake English accent the needle on the douche level meter gets pegged so fast it breaks.
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So is Eric Clapton doing the opposite by singing like he's a southern black American make him the opposite of a douche or equally douche?

Really all the white blues guys do it, Johnny Lang, Kenny Wayne Shepard, even Stevie Ray Vaughn to a point. In fact if I had to give John Mayer a compliment it would be that when he started playing more blues he didn't stop writing new music and start singing different the way that Clapton did! :hiding:
 
#109
jrusidoff said:
Used to have a friend in a band back in the day, the lead singer would tell the crowd he just immigrated from Russia (he was from Memphis!) and he'd step up to the mic and say in a heavy Russian accent "I like make rock musik in Amerika, dank you!" He used to get hit on by more chicks for that!
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Haha, that reminds me of this...
 
#115
So many comments about how people dress or hang their guitars. There's nothing wrong with that. People with bad taste does not make them douchey.

A douchey move is when you see Smashing Pumpkins for the first time as a teenager and hear Billy talk about how awesome he is between songs. (this was in the 90s)
 
#116
BayStateBass said:
So this guy gets up on stage, a guitarist/singer, and asks the band to do "Guitars/Cadillacs". They get rolling and about 3 measures in, he stops playing and says "stop....stop...stop....". He turns around, looks at the drummer, and tells him that he's not playing the right beat. The drummer kinda plays a little rat-a-tat-tat, and they start up again. Same thing. At about the same point, he stops the band again, looks at the drummer and tells him he's playing the wrong beat, but this time is sorta making hand movements and doing the whole "boom boom boom" thing with his mouth. Take #3 goes the same way. Now....take #4...the singer guitard guy seems to like this version as it starts and says something into the mic about "well I guess he got it right this time"........ At this point I'm cringing in my seat feeling bad for the guys on stage, who appeared irritated..
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Dude, I'd have told him his 15 seconds were up, and to get the **** out of the band's way.
 
#119
Bill G. said:
I don't get the doucheness of wearing shorts/flip flops at times. Here in south Louisiana, that attire at an outdoor gig is simply a matter of survival! :p
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No joke, here. I know a lot of people hate on cutoff jorts... but playing outdoors in Louisiana is asking for heat stroke in full pants.

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mellowinman said:
Screaming through the PA, as loud as you can, "FIRE! EVERYBODY HEAD FOR THE EXITS!!!! FIRE!!!! RUN!!!!!" and then as they smash each other into tables, doorways, and trample on each other, go, "JUST KIDDING! THERE'S NO FIRE!"

That would be the BIGGEST douche move onstage I can think of.
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Hahahaha

Saxn said:
Okay, I'm going to throw something out here as food for thought. I used to do quite a lot of travel for work, and often I would stop and stay in different areas of the country/world for fairly long stretches of time. After a few weeks there I inevitably acquired a taste of the local accent. After a couple of months there I sounded like a native. I remember one time after working in Louisiana visiting a bar and someone asking me if I hailed from Shreveport. He asked because of the accent I'd picked up.

This happens whether I want it to or not. I actually have to actively fight the process, and even then it doesn't stop it... It just delays it for a bit. I have a totally unproven theory that it might be related to my musical ear, but I'd want to talk to a bunch of other traveling musos about it before I said that with any confidence.
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I do the same thing. I'll often start picking up bits of someone's accent as I talk to them. I used to live with a Canadian, and by the end of our conversations my prosody started to match up with his... Until his accent become more American, I suppose.

My whole family is Cajun, and nothing enrages me more than fake Cajun anything. Fake Cajun food, fake Cajun accents. It drives me nuts. You can't get real Cajun food outside Acadiana, including New Orleans (where you will find Creole food). In South Louisiana, you can drive 20 miles in any direction and hear a different accent. Ville Platte Cajuns sound different than Lafayette Cajuns and Thibodaux and Houma etc. etc. I've never seen any accent butchered as bad as Louisiana accents. Anything above Alexandria isn't Cajun. Where I come from anything above I-10 is a yankee, or at least that's what they say.

I have lived in Louisiana, Tennessee, Mississippi, and more. I remember I spent one summer working on a ranch in Texas, and everyone made fun of my accent when I came back talking 'bout hawg huntin'. I can honestly hear differences in Georgia accents vs Tennessee accents vs Texas accents... It's just something you kind of start to pick up after a while.

Something I do think is funny is how every American-made ancient Rome or Greece or pretty much ancient anything movie uses British accents. Even the Turks in Aladdin (Ottoman Empire, here) had British accents. Americans just seem to view it as "the far off" kind of speaking, I suppose. :confused:
 

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