This is totally subjective and changes with the band image, audience and client expectations, etc. My band discussed this thoroughly, and here's our approach:
We play a combination of bars, clubs, private parties, and upscale events like weddings and corporate holiday parties. Basically, if the money's right and we don't have to play out in the elements, we'll be there. We play to a mainstream audience, a wide demographic of cultures and attitudes.
We decided that the odds of someone in our audience objecting to profanity and vulgarity are pretty good almost anywhere we go. We also recognized that the individual(s) who objects to profanity and vulgarity through a loud P.A. system before a mixed audience may be in a position to open, or slam shut, a door for us.
In other words, "You never know who may be listening to you." (--Paul McCartney)
So we did a cost-benefit analysis that went as follows:
If we abstain from vulgarity and profanity, no one will complain. No one will care. We will be under no negative criticism or scrutiny whatsoever.
If we let f-bombs fly and get a little too risque for sensitive ears, as mentioned above, someone may take a dim view of that. And that could cost us an opportunity. And we decided that was an unacceptable risk.
So we play it safe with a "no profanity or vulgarity" policy.
I'm not preaching here, this is purely a business decision. In private, I curse a blue streak sometimes. But if my band ever loses a gig along the way, I'll know for sure it wasn't because we used foul language on stage.
YMMV.
