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Things that are Metal...and things that aren't
- Thread starter ster
- Start date
Metal Then:
Wearing a black t-shirt and jeans on a 95 degree day with high humidity just because...
Metal Now/not so metal but kind of:
Taking paternal pride in watching your 3 yo daughter bounce around with exuberance to the opening track of the latest Metallica album
Wearing a black t-shirt and jeans on a 95 degree day with high humidity just because...
Metal Now/not so metal but kind of:
Taking paternal pride in watching your 3 yo daughter bounce around with exuberance to the opening track of the latest Metallica album
I wish I could animate-- this kinda reminds me of the "Good Idea, Bad Idea" filler clips from Animaniacs.
And now, on to your regularly-scheduled broadcast.
Metal: Dirty sluts
Not Metal: Strippers/Prostitutes (unless they're dead... or unless you're into Hairspray "Metal")
Metal: Chrome or Black hardware on your bass
Not Metal: Figured wood pickup covers, gold hardware (unless it's on a black instrument, such as Cliff Burton's Aria Pro II SB Black-&-Gold)
Metal: A Christmas Tree (as Nathan Explosion explains "it's like having a rotting corpse in your room")
Not Metal: Presents under said tree-- unless said presents involve a severed head.
Metal: Being arrested for Assault & Battery
Not Metal: Being arrested for shoplifting at The GAP, Old Navy, American Eagle, Abercrombie & Fitch, or other sodomized-fratboy-wannabe store.
Metal: Giving the middle finger to Justin Bieber or Michael Buble
Not Metal: Giving the middle finger to Ozzie (if in the presence of metalheads, this will likely get you killed)
Metal: Celebrating a Dethday
Not Metal: Celebrating a Birthday
Metal: Wearing all Black
Not Metal: Wearing all Pink (unless you are a metal chick, at which point comes the expectation that any Pink worn is to contrast with Black)
Metal: Clowns that do Cocaine
Not Metal: Clown who perform for a Sobriety Tour
Metal: Dying face-down in your own heroine-laced vomit, surrounded by unconscious naked women in a trashed hotel room
Not Metal: Dying from auto-erotic asphyxiation while dressed in a Batman costume
REALLY Not Metal: Same as above, but in a Tele-Tubby costume.
Metal: Making out with a chick dressed as a Vampire or Succubus.
Not Metal: Making out with a chick dressed as a Schoolgirl or Cheerleader (again, the Hairspray "Metal" exception comes into play... or if said cheerleader/schoolgirl also happens to be a vampire/succubus)
Metal: Being angst-laden, incompetent, and living with your parents
Not Metal: Being a role model or productive member of society.
Metal: Black leather
Not Metal: Neon Spandex
I have more...
And now, on to your regularly-scheduled broadcast.
Metal: Dirty sluts
Not Metal: Strippers/Prostitutes (unless they're dead... or unless you're into Hairspray "Metal")
Metal: Chrome or Black hardware on your bass
Not Metal: Figured wood pickup covers, gold hardware (unless it's on a black instrument, such as Cliff Burton's Aria Pro II SB Black-&-Gold)
Metal: A Christmas Tree (as Nathan Explosion explains "it's like having a rotting corpse in your room")
Not Metal: Presents under said tree-- unless said presents involve a severed head.
Metal: Being arrested for Assault & Battery
Not Metal: Being arrested for shoplifting at The GAP, Old Navy, American Eagle, Abercrombie & Fitch, or other sodomized-fratboy-wannabe store.
Metal: Giving the middle finger to Justin Bieber or Michael Buble
Not Metal: Giving the middle finger to Ozzie (if in the presence of metalheads, this will likely get you killed)
Metal: Celebrating a Dethday
Not Metal: Celebrating a Birthday
Metal: Wearing all Black
Not Metal: Wearing all Pink (unless you are a metal chick, at which point comes the expectation that any Pink worn is to contrast with Black)
Metal: Clowns that do Cocaine
Not Metal: Clown who perform for a Sobriety Tour
Metal: Dying face-down in your own heroine-laced vomit, surrounded by unconscious naked women in a trashed hotel room
Not Metal: Dying from auto-erotic asphyxiation while dressed in a Batman costume
REALLY Not Metal: Same as above, but in a Tele-Tubby costume.
Metal: Making out with a chick dressed as a Vampire or Succubus.
Not Metal: Making out with a chick dressed as a Schoolgirl or Cheerleader (again, the Hairspray "Metal" exception comes into play... or if said cheerleader/schoolgirl also happens to be a vampire/succubus)
Metal: Being angst-laden, incompetent, and living with your parents
Not Metal: Being a role model or productive member of society.
Metal: Black leather
Not Metal: Neon Spandex
I have more...
Metal:
Solids at room temperature (except mercury)
High melting points
High densities
Large atomic radii
Low ionization energies
Usually, high deformation, malleable, and ductile
Usually good thermal and electrical conductors
Metallic lustrous appearance
Non-Metal:
High ionization energies
High electronegativities
Poor thermal conductors
Poor electrical conductors
Brittle solids
Little or no metallic luster
Gain electrons easily
Solids at room temperature (except mercury)
High melting points
High densities
Large atomic radii
Low ionization energies
Usually, high deformation, malleable, and ductile
Usually good thermal and electrical conductors
Metallic lustrous appearance
Non-Metal:
High ionization energies
High electronegativities
Poor thermal conductors
Poor electrical conductors
Brittle solids
Little or no metallic luster
Gain electrons easily
Metal: Living in a van, DOWN BY THE RIVER, with your drummer.
Not Metal: Music stands on stage. And capes. Unless it's progressive metal.
Not Metal: Music stands on stage. And capes. Unless it's progressive metal.
Metal:
Sex with Pamela Anderson
Sex tape with Pamela Anderson
Getting Hep C from Pamela Anderson
Not Metal:
David Hasselhoff (even if he did all of the above)
Sex with Pamela Anderson
Sex tape with Pamela Anderson
Getting Hep C from Pamela Anderson
Not Metal:
David Hasselhoff (even if he did all of the above)
Metal:
Using a length of chain as a guitar or bass strap
Bad tattoos
Album cover art that features: Vikings brandishing weaponery, Dragons, Fire, Corpses, Wizards, Scantly clad "overdone" women, alters of sacrifice, Satan himself.......
Wearing a "motorcycle jacket" even though You've never owned a motorcycle
Unkept long hair, and/or Beard
More chains(wallet chains, multiple)
Not Metal:
cupcakes and punch at a party
Beer that cost more than 5 dollars per six pack
A brown corduroy blazer
Any music instrument that isn't flat black or some sort of camoflage pattern
Kittens, puppies, flowers, and the like
Unicorns, unless they are having some over the top magical battle with a wizard
I am sure I left something out somewhere...........
Using a length of chain as a guitar or bass strap
Bad tattoos
Album cover art that features: Vikings brandishing weaponery, Dragons, Fire, Corpses, Wizards, Scantly clad "overdone" women, alters of sacrifice, Satan himself.......
Wearing a "motorcycle jacket" even though You've never owned a motorcycle
Unkept long hair, and/or Beard
More chains(wallet chains, multiple)
Not Metal:
cupcakes and punch at a party
Beer that cost more than 5 dollars per six pack
A brown corduroy blazer
Any music instrument that isn't flat black or some sort of camoflage pattern
Kittens, puppies, flowers, and the like
Unicorns, unless they are having some over the top magical battle with a wizard
I am sure I left something out somewhere...........
